September 21, 2023
Pleasure, Spanking & Masculinity with King Noire
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Curious about kink, spanking, ethical porn and how to have better sex?
The inimitable King Noire shares his perspective of pleasure, pansexuality, performance and much more in this candid conversation with Jess & Brandon.
King Noire is an accomplished and award-winning writer, porn performer, artist, Master Fetish Trainer, MC, and global activist using the proceeds of his album ‘Music Is My Weapon’ to build a school, freshwater well, and medical clinic in West Africa. He raises consciousness around kink safety for people of color, provides lectures on the decolonization of sexuality, and offers sex education to audiences ranging from college students to medical providers.
Check out King Noire’s website here, and follow him on his social media accounts – Instagram and Twitter.
And if you have podcast questions, please submit them here. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Go
Rough Transcript:
This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.
Pleasure, Spanking & Masculinity with King Noire
Episode 335
[00:00:00] You’re listening to the sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight.
[00:00:15] Jess O’Reilly: Hey, hey, we are here in Atlanta at sex down south with the King Noir. I have to read your bio before you come on. It’s the boys. King Noir is an accomplished award winning writer, porn performer. Artist, master fetish trainer, MC, we’re going to be playing his music, global activist who uses the proceeds of his album, Music is My Weapon, to build a school, a freshwater well, a medical clinic in West Africa.
[00:00:40] Jess O’Reilly: He raises consciousness around kink safety for people of color. He provides lectures on the decolonization of sexuality and offers sex education to audiences ranging from college students to medical providers to those of us in the field. You have a big following. Thank you so much for being here.
[00:00:56] King Noire: Thank you.
[00:00:56] King Noire: Thank you for having me. It’s good to be back. All right.
[00:00:58] Jess O’Reilly: So you just, you won a big award, a big award in the industry. So Urban X Awards, Pansexual Performer of the Year.
[00:01:06] King Noire: Yep.
[00:01:06] Jess O’Reilly: What’s that mean, Pansexual Performer?
[00:01:08] King Noire: Oh, shit. It’s interesting because I think this might have been either one of the, either the first or one of the first years that they’ve actually had that as an award.
[00:01:16] Jess O’Reilly: Okay.
[00:01:17] King Noire: So I’m honored to win it either way. I think. Pansexual as I guess as a sexuality is kind of like you fuck who you’re attracted to and you don’t let Gender or orientation or anything like that get in the way of you fucking who you want to fuck. I like that That’s that’s how I define it and then I think for the award I think the reason that I was even nominated for that award is because I do a lot of work with trans performers as well as cisgender performers, so I was extremely honored to get it cuz We putting in work.
[00:01:49] King Noire: So I want, I want to be honored for that work and it feels good to be honored by, you know, Urban X’s is big in the industry. So it’s like people are seeing it. People are acknowledging it. And a [00:02:00] lot of times they think that, you know, black men can’t do it. So that’s like one of those things. That’s just another arena that we’re looking to.
[00:02:07] King Noire: Expand people’s sexual pleasure and understanding.
[00:02:11] Jess O’Reilly: And pleasure is pleasure, isn’t it?
[00:02:12] King Noire: Facts.
[00:02:13] Jess O’Reilly: Like, we are so hung up on, whether it’s gender, labels, or orientation, or…
[00:02:18] King Noire: Alone.
[00:02:18] Jess O’Reilly: Yeah.
[00:02:19] King Noire: People sometimes get hung up on like, Nah, I shouldn’t be… Yeah, you should. You should be making yourself feel good. Who better to please you than you?
[00:02:27] Jess O’Reilly: Well, I’d rather someone else do it because I’m kind of lazy. So if I could have someone lend me a hand or two, I’m about that. Now you wear so many hats. I want to talk about your music. I know you’re an MC. We’re going to be playing your music. You’re a master fetish trainer. I’ve always seen that in your bio.
[00:02:40] Jess O’Reilly: Cause I’m a big follower on Instagram. You have a lot of them. What does that mean? What’s a master fetish trainer?
[00:02:45] King Noire: Well, Jasmine and I came up with the master fetish trainer as a way to describe what it is that we do. Cause people are always like, what is it that you do? Y’all do so many things. We help people identify.
[00:02:57] King Noire: And experience their fetishes in a healthy and safe way.
[00:03:01] Jess O’Reilly: And a little context on Jasmine. Jasmine has been on the podcast several times.
[00:03:04] King Noire: Yes, my partner.
[00:03:05] Jess O’Reilly: We are missing her.
[00:03:05] King Noire: The one and only Jetsetting Jasmine. She’s not here at Sex Down South this year.
[00:03:09] Jess O’Reilly: She was.
[00:03:10] King Noire: She was supposed to be. She was supposed to be where we’re supposed to be hosting.
[00:03:13] King Noire: So now I’m going to have to have her in via satellite. But, you know, we’re going to, uh, we’re going to make it work. We’re going to make it work, but she is taking care of our two little ones right now. So they’re both under the weather.
[00:03:25] Jess O’Reilly: There’s something going around as everyone can hear in my voice. My voice is,
[00:03:27] Brandon Ware: I thought that was just your sexy voice for the podcast, but no,
[00:03:31] Jess O’Reilly: I am on the last 1 percent of my voice.
[00:03:33] Jess O’Reilly: I don’t know how I’m going to get through the rest of the night. So master fetish trainer, what do you do? What can people hire you for? What can they experience and expect?
[00:03:41] King Noire: So people can either hire us for education. Or they can hire us for experiences. So some people they’re like, I want to learn how to flog somebody or engage in impact play, breath play, or whatever their particular fetishes, but sometimes just trying to go out there and learn, you don’t know who you’re learning from.
[00:03:59] King Noire: You [00:04:00] don’t know if anybody has any experience, credentials or anything like that. So we offer education. Well, other times people want that actual experience. They’re like, I want to be choked. I want to be flogged or I want to flog my partner and I want somebody there who can show me how to do it and then make sure I’m doing it properly.
[00:04:14] King Noire: So that’s what we do.
[00:04:16] Jess O’Reilly: What do people get wrong about impact play?
[00:04:18] King Noire: They don’t take their time. People usually go for like the. Their heart is spanked, you know what I’m saying? And it’s like, no, that’s not how the body works. So, like, understanding just physio uh, like, physiologically how the body works, what chemicals are gonna be moving around in your body and when and why, just that alone will help.
[00:04:34] King Noire: Anybody understand? Like, okay, I really shouldn’t just walk into the room, you know, pull back and swing with all my might, you know, because it’s also like there are wrong places to spank somebody or flog somebody. There’s a definite wrong way to choke somebody. And we say you always want after you choke your partner for them to return to you the same way they were when you started choking them because you could do some serious damage.
[00:04:55] King Noire: So it’s important to be able to do things safely, properly. And that also makes it more pleasurable.
[00:05:00] Jess O’Reilly: Of course, of course. So spanking. If someone says, okay, My partner wants me to spank them. Okay, they can go learn from you, but how can they start at home? Like, what would be your top tips for somebody who’s spanking for the first time?
[00:05:12] King Noire: First and foremost is find out what kind of feel your partner likes. Because just on our hand, we can create something that’s more stingy, we can create something that’s more of a thud, you know. Anybody who’s ever slap box knows that if you get caught with some fingers, it’s a lot different than getting caught with somebody’s palm, right?
[00:05:27] King Noire: What’s slap box? Slap boxing is instead of closing your fist to spar somebody, you just slap boxing with somebody. It’s, it’s, it’s, it’s a thing. It’s a thing.
[00:05:36] Jess O’Reilly: Everybody’s pausing to a
[00:05:39] Brandon Ware: little stunned. You know, I
[00:05:41] Jess O’Reilly: just want to watch people slap box
[00:05:43] King Noire: actually is now this league where they do like professional slapping and they’d be knocking each other the fuck out with that shit.
[00:05:50] King Noire: It’s crazy.
[00:05:51] Brandon Ware: I’ve I’ve seen some of the people they get knocked right out. Like they’ll just be sitting there and then. All of a sudden, they’re on the floor.
[00:05:58] King Noire: And they show it in slow mo and [00:06:00] everything, so you can see the ripples through their face and the snot and everything. It’s crazy.
[00:06:03] Jess O’Reilly: I feel like, Brandon, you’d be good at slap boxing with those big baseball mitt hands.
[00:06:07] Brandon Ware: Not only, I have a glass jaw. I’d be out. Somebody,
[00:06:10] King Noire: like, you know, just breathes on me and I’d be out. You gotta, you definitely have to go. Be like, I gotta go first all the time.
[00:06:17] Brandon Ware: Yeah, but you know, there’s that whole, you get all excited,
[00:06:19] Brandon Ware: the anticipation, then you screw up. And then you know somebody’s gonna, like, just smoke you in the face.
[00:06:24] Jess O’Reilly: So if we go back to spanking the ass.
[00:06:26] King Noire: Yes.
[00:06:26] Jess O’Reilly: So what type of, you wanna know what type of feel they want?
[00:06:30] King Noire: Yeah. So some, some people they like, you know, like with the, the ends of your fingers, that’s gonna be more of a sting.
[00:06:35] Jess O’Reilly: Okay.
[00:06:36] King Noire: If you get closer to the palm, the closer you get, that’s gonna be more of a thud.
[00:06:39] King Noire: Now even, even with where you position on the ass of where you hit somebody, like if you wanna warm somebody up, you’re definitely not gonna run in and just. Lay them out, like we said, so you want to kind of work in an upwards motion to kind of send all those good vibrations through the body, through the ass, because I mean, if you think about it, like when you’re having sex, you know how when you feel your body’s hitting on each other like this.
[00:07:03] King Noire: Especially in doggy style is pleasurable for because those are those waves of pleasure that’s going through your body. So it’s kind of like the same thing. So you don’t want to just while out, but as you build up, you can start building the intensity that you’re spanking somebody with.
[00:07:16] Jess O’Reilly: And do you sometimes want to alternate between something a little bit more sensual and comforting?
[00:07:21] Jess O’Reilly: And then something more stinging, like if you’re new to it, if you’re new to it, cause I, here’s what I think. I think people say, Oh, I want to be spanked and then people just give it their all.
[00:07:30] King Noire: Yeah. And that’s a mistake. Right. So there, there’s many techniques that you can use to either warm somebody up, relax their body.
[00:07:38] King Noire: Or, you know, if you’re trying to be sexy at the same time, you know, add more sensual touch with it as well. Sometimes people just want spanks as a punishment, or as a reward, you know what I’m saying? So it might, you really have to talk about it first. It’s not like one of those things that you just show up in the bedroom like, I’m spanking you tonight.
[00:07:55] Brandon Ware: This is where I feel like the master fetish trainer comes in. Because, you know, I think [00:08:00] about me doing it the first time. And then I’m like, yeah, I want to be all sexy. And it’s like, no. That did not work. Whereas I’m assuming you’re going to be coming in and like training people, the, the whole, the art, the seduction, the, the, the technique that’s going to give them what they want.
[00:08:16] King Noire: Absolutely. And that’s, that’s, that’s why I say there’s so many things that you can enjoy. And it’s like, as a couple, you know, I don’t have to touch either one of you, if you don’t want me to, I can show you on either. I show up with a bottom of my own, or I can just show you. Just in the air on a pillow, you know, I think it’s, it really depends on what the couple wants and that’s why I say that we’re masters of this kind of training because nobody has, even if you have the same category of fetish, the way you want to experience it, the way you want to live it.
[00:08:48] King Noire: And what brings you pleasure from it is different from person to person. Everybody’s completely unique with it.
[00:08:54] Jess O’Reilly: Yeah. And you just came off tour. You are touring, you’re on stage, you were doing a show, but you, while you’re doing these shows, so people need to follow you, follow you on Instagram. You’re doing private sessions.
[00:09:04] King Noire: Yes. So I go from. Sessioning on stage and showing people live what I do. Shout out to Minneapolis, Minnesota, and uh, LaFollies Burlesque. I had an amazing time out there. They were awesome. I got to work with Burlesque dancers, and I’m like flogging them, spanking them on stage. And then, you know, people might see me in the audience like, I want that, but not on stage.
[00:09:25] King Noire: So they can book me for private sessions as well.
[00:09:27] Jess O’Reilly: Speaking of, so tomorrow night we have the Big Bang. Yes. Add sex, add sex. Bang, bang. And you’re in, you, you and Jasmine, but I guess you’re on your own now. I know. You’re running it. Did you find, like, did you find someone to replace her? I mean, there’s many people.
[00:09:39] King Noire: Oh, no one can ever replace Jetsetting Jasmine. But I, I am going to have some special guests. You know, there are a lot of people that we’ve actually worked with for Royal Fetish Films. Out here in Atlanta or people that we work with through our black excellence, uh, Management company that’ll be on stage.
[00:09:55] King Noire: So we’re gonna do some things. We’re gonna do some things
[00:09:57] Jess O’Reilly: the show the show is amazing And [00:10:00] so I know that i’m always touting And promoting sex down south, but even if you don’t come to the whole conference You can buy tickets to the big bang
[00:10:07] King Noire: you can I mean sex down south is is just my one of my favorite times We weren’t here uh last year, but I look forward to it every year.
[00:10:17] King Noire: It’s, it’s my, my, like the conference that I’m like most looking forward to every year. So, I’m trying to make sure that I get to a whole bunch of events today.
[00:10:24] Jess O’Reilly: Yeah, there is a lot going on here. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so you do master fetish training. You’re also a producer, so you own a production company. Yes.
[00:10:32] Jess O’Reilly: Royal Fetish Films. Yes. And you’re producing ethical porn.
[00:10:35] King Noire: Yes.
[00:10:36] Jess O’Reilly: What does that mean?
[00:10:37] King Noire: Well, I know now people throw the word around a lot. So, um, for us, it means that. It is performer focused in the sense of we don’t have people come on with our company to shoot things that they are not interested in, whether it be, I want to try this for the first time, or this is my shit and I love doing so.
[00:10:57] King Noire: It’s not like this is the acts that we shoot for our company. If you don’t do them, then we’re not going to hire you. Right? So everybody is there because they want to be there. Everybody is there because this is It’s a form of expression that they’re interested in. Also, ethical is how we sell it, how we either pay people or give people access to that content to be able to sell it themselves.
[00:11:16] King Noire: So it’s not ever going to be a situation where somebody’s there and it’s just out there and they have absolutely nothing to do with it or aren’t able to monetize it in their own way or haven’t been paid properly for it. We want all body types, all genders, all orientations, all. Outlooks of sexuality shown on camera in a way that is reflective of how people enjoy their sexuality So if you’re super hardcore kink, then you’re gonna find some super hardcore kink If you are I want some super hardcore sensuality and you know Things like of that nature, we have the full range and you also have the full range of we shoot everything from I tell people we shoot from phones to drones.
[00:11:58] King Noire: So we have some people [00:12:00] like to get their porn in a nice portrait kind of look that’s coming straight from phone to phone. And you could tell that that performer set up a tripod themselves. Other people want that shit to look like a Christopher Nolan movie. And we have the shit that ranges from all of that because we, we.
[00:12:16] King Noire: I love, I love what we do. I love being able to express pleasure and passion and sensuality and kinkiness and fetishes in all kinds of different ways because sometimes they shoot certain things the same all the time. And that’s not how everybody, that’s not how everybody engages. You know, sometimes you want some shit that’s like some nice, beautiful light coming from outside, some natural light on the bed.
[00:12:40] King Noire: Other times you want that shit to look like everything is manufactured and everything is plastic and you’re just like, this is a complete fantasy, you know? So being able to have the real to the fantastical just makes it for more pleasure and things that you can then watch and then add into your own life.
[00:12:56] Jess O’Reilly: When you talk about ethical porn and actually focusing on what the performers are into, to me it follows that it’s just going to be hotter. Facts. Right? Like I would rather watch somebody doing something they love. So you’re not writing scripts like, we’re going to do double penetration anal today. It’s like, what are you into?
[00:13:12] Jess O’Reilly: What are you feeling? There must be a lot of checking in and kind of massaging as you go.
[00:13:17] King Noire: So like, let’s say y’all, let’s say I was going to be behind the camera for y’all scene. And you say, I don’t know. Tell me something you like.
[00:13:24] Brandon Ware: I like…
[00:13:25] Jess O’Reilly: I like that he put
[00:13:26] Brandon Ware: you put me on the spot. I, I, I, I, so I like to be…
[00:13:30] Brandon Ware: So let’s, I wanna, I wanna be on the bottom. I want her riding me.
[00:13:32] King Noire: Okay, so… I know, work, work.
[00:13:35] Jess O’Reilly: Did my aspiration come out?
[00:13:39] Brandon Ware: Tell me how you really feel.
[00:13:41] Jess O’Reilly: I’ll do anything for you, you know that?
[00:13:43] King Noire: Well, see, there you go. So let’s, let’s take both of those two things you mentioned. You want… Uh, just to ride and you don’t want to do that much work.
[00:13:51] King Noire: Okay.
[00:13:51] Jess O’Reilly: I actually just wanna watch, can we get someone else
[00:13:53] King Noire: so we could get somebody?
[00:13:54] Jess O’Reilly: Yeah.
[00:13:54] King Noire: Oh, so we get somebody else to ride you.
[00:13:55] Jess O’Reilly: Yeah. .
[00:13:56] King Noire: So that’s,
[00:13:57] Jess O’Reilly: I may, I may eat an ice cream on the corner. , she,
[00:13:59] Brandon Ware: where’s [00:14:00] Jess? She’s just having some takeout in the side, over in the corner.
[00:14:03] King Noire: Well, some people do have that fetish of being able to watch and, and, and also, Sit back and relax and enjoy a good meal at the same time.
[00:14:10] King Noire: So let’s just say that was the scene in this room that we have right here. So we can have Dr. Jess in a beautiful, you know, thrown, being able to direct who is going to ride you because you want that work. You want somebody to put in that work and you want to be on the bottom. So automatically from there, like just in this space, I know people aren’t looking in right now, but I love the natural light.
[00:14:30] King Noire: And so being able to sit from this angle to be able to watch you, watch them. You direct them almost. From your space as you’re eating. What are you eating? Noodles. . . I thought I thought you was gonna say rice. Just like rp. White rice.
[00:14:45] Jess O’Reilly: Slipping some noodles. Fried noodles and plain white rice. Like, you know, I’m so Chinese.
[00:14:49] King Noire: You know, people have, people have, you know, fantasies that do involve food. You know, that’s a huge fetish. And also there’s the cultural aspect of like, you know, some noodles are real good. You supposed to be slurping them. So some people are going to get the fetish of that who have an oral fixation. And then, you know, maybe while she’s riding you, y’all have some oral and it could be cut in with the, you know what I’m saying?
[00:15:08] King Noire: Like to me, it’s always like, okay, it’s hotter because that’s what y’all want.
[00:15:12] Brandon Ware: But I’m feeling the creative, like you must really, you enjoy the creative aspect of your job.
[00:15:16] King Noire: I love it. I think sex is like the. Not only can sex create life, but also it’s a creative expression of your body. It’s a creative expression of your pleasure.
[00:15:27] King Noire: So, for example, I was shooting a scene with Titania and Queen P when I was in, um, in Minneapolis. And the dungeon we were in… Had like a squat rack in it, so that, but you could strap someone up to the squat rack and all this shit, and I love sexual positions that are, that like, just have to be like, exerting energy, or that are tough on the body, because for me personally, when I feel my blood flowing, it makes everything feel cool.
[00:15:58] King Noire: So Jazz and I had shot a [00:16:00] scene back before where she was like eating my ass while I was doing a pull up. So in the squat rack I was like, oh, well now there’s extra people here so I can do more things. So I need you to like, be like massaging me while I’m doing this. Pull up with my legs in the air and like slamming her face into my ass to eat my ass.
[00:16:17] King Noire: Like that shit feels amazing, but it’s like the creative aspect of it. Like we didn’t know that squat rack was in there, but we got to use this fucking squat rack because you know, all, all the different aspects of, of creativity when it comes to sex. Like, even if you just tweak one little thing from what you did last time, you’ll feel something brand new.
[00:16:35] King Noire: Even if you’re doing the same missionary position, you can still fuck completely different every time. It really depends because I kind of try to set things up so that I can take time off to just edit. Masturbate. That too. That’s true. But. I don’t know, it’s hard to kind of quantify, but I do, I do probably shoot anywhere between five to ten scenes a month.
[00:16:58] Jess O’Reilly: Wow, a lot. Do you ever find like, oh, I’m not in the mood? And if you’re not in the mood, do you take a break?
[00:17:03] King Noire: Definitely.
[00:17:04] Jess O’Reilly: Okay.
[00:17:04] King Noire: Definitely. And, you know, I, I, it’s interesting because a lot of people think, oh, you do porn, so you just have to fuck all the time. And I do tell people, especially people who are new to the industry, if your body tells you something or your, your brain or your gut is telling you take a break, take a break.
[00:17:19] King Noire: But you know, it happens all the time because we also have complete outside lives of porn.
[00:17:24] Jess O’Reilly: Well, you have kids, you run multiple businesses, you guys, you folks do so much. And you know, I think there’s so many dimensions to what you do when you’re a role model to a lot of people. Let me ask you about the MCing.
[00:17:35] Jess O’Reilly: Why is the rap important to you?
[00:17:36] King Noire: I’ve been rapping since I was like, yeah, since, since I was a little kid and I love to make music of, of all sorts, you know, and porn, just porn music sucks. So I was like, we need to, you know, is it being that I had already done music and like I had a whole career doing, doing hip hop when we [00:18:00] had started royal fetish films, I was just like, I kind of want to make music specifically.
[00:18:05] King Noire: Under the moniker of King Noir, like, what would that sound like? What would that? How can we flip it and bounce it into the movies to kind of like make them different than other people’s scenes that you’ve seen because you know if people are just using the same cut out kind of music or Music that I don’t even know where they find it from.
[00:18:25] King Noire: It’s like 70s foreign music and shit Like how does that enhance the experience for other people and when we were talking about royal fetish films? It was always like when we started it ten years ago now so much porn used black bodies And the aesthetic of blackness, but was not created by black people.
[00:18:42] King Noire: So we want it to be like, well, what is, what is, what is it lacking? And what, what. Would enhance it and one of the things that we thought of was just kind of like Music is like always have sex with music on I kind of I when I don’t have sex with music I’m like all shop got put music on the shit You know I’m saying but it’s like I want it to be my music is then I can kind of write things that go with the fetishes and things that go with Different things that have not been spoken about in hip hop yet.
[00:19:09] King Noire: So it kind of just made me dive in.
[00:19:11] Brandon Ware: That was going to be one of my questions. Does one inspire the other? Do you know what I mean? Like, does the music inspire your production? Does your production inspire your music? Do they compliment one another?
[00:19:21] King Noire: Both, both. Like there was a song on the first Royal Fetish Experience album.
[00:19:26] King Noire: So Somnophilia is the fetish where you enjoy your partner. Having sex with you when you’re like sleep.
[00:19:36] Jess O’Reilly: Oh, I love that.
[00:19:37] Brandon Ware: Oh Tell us more because I feel like we’ve been down this road.
[00:19:40] Jess O’Reilly: Yeah, I love it.
[00:19:41] King Noire: So maybe I get too excited there Can’t get too excited never forget to know but it was like jazz told me that she had this fetish years ago And she was like I am consensually giving you the the right that if you’re feeling any type of way And I’m sleep like just just start just go at it.
[00:19:58] King Noire: You know, I’m saying so You [00:20:00] got, you got that too?
[00:20:00] Brandon Ware: I would just, I want to jump in because I’m like, this was us, like 20 years ago. We would, we would be so, I thought we were, but by accident, I feel like we were so exhausted in the middle of the night, all of a sudden we’d wake, I’d wake up and kind of just come to and we’d be having sex.
[00:20:14] Jess O’Reilly: But I’ve also told you that if you ever want to have sex with me when I’m, this is only for Brandon. Like, not for the, all the other folks, not for the other folks, but is anyone who’s sleeping in my bed? How about that? If you’ve gotten into bed, yeah, you have permission.
[00:20:27] Brandon Ware: But yeah, and it was incredibly hot that you’d wake up and it was almost semi dreamlike initially and then kind of coming to and realizing that you’re, I noticed like heightened, uh, like, like Senses sound like I got bit by a spider or something, but I’d wake up radioactively, but I’d wake up and everything was just heightened, like all the physical sensation of touch, like everything.
[00:20:50] Brandon Ware: And then you, I kind of wake up and we were, you know, a third of the way through the, the, the actual process of whatever it was, you know, having sex, the foreplay initially. And it was just, I thought it was great. So please.
[00:21:00] Jess O’Reilly: Yeah.
[00:21:00] Brandon Ware: Somnophilia.
[00:21:01] King Noire: So jazz, she, we, so then we shot a scene. She was like, I want to shoot this scene.
[00:21:05] King Noire: And it was co directed by, um, Kaz and Shiro of the spread podcast. Shout out. And, um, so they, uh, we shot this whole, this whole scene and we made it like, you know, Have the consensual aspect, talk about it, because people need to understand, you know, it’s like one of those things you need to talk about this.
[00:21:23] King Noire: Don’t just start fucking people when they sleep. Then you need a consent, an enthusiastic consent. So we shoot the scene, and then after we shoot the scene, I put music to it, and I was just like, The beat that I had from it was from this producer that we knew from Florida, and I was like, Yo, that beat, that beat slaps.
[00:21:38] King Noire: That shit is hot. And then Jazz was like, I’ve never heard a sound affiliate song before. I’m like, I’ve never, I don’t even think anybody’s even used that word in a song before. Trying to rhyme that word in itself. That was my first thought. Somnophilia got me feeling your way deeper than REM. So when you back to sleep, we go back to freak and we can do it all again.
[00:21:55] King Noire: And so I was like, right from there. I was like, Oh, I got a word that [00:22:00] rhymes with somnophilia and then just wrote a song to it. You know what I’m saying? Then we got, um, my homegirl, um, Nora to drop. She wrote a whole verse about it. And sang and was like, yo, this shit, this shit is dope. And that was kind of one of the songs that led to me even doing an album as Kingda War.
[00:22:16] Jess O’Reilly: I love it. We’re going to play that music. As I said, I have so many questions for you. But I, I think because you wear so many hats, you’re an educator, you’re an activist, you’re a performer, you’re a producer, you’re clearly an artist. But when it comes to sex, because people come to you for sex, to learn.
[00:22:29] Jess O’Reilly: What makes sex good? Like what should people be doing differently?
[00:22:34] King Noire: It might sound a little cliche, but it really, to me, is about learning yourself. Sex always gets better when you know, and you’re not holding yourself back. From what it is that you either desire or what pleases you and I think a lot of us have so many hang ups That we’re like for example, I don’t know.
[00:22:53] King Noire: Let’s just take I know I mentioned it earlier ass eating, right? Some people whether giving or receiving might just be like, oh, I don’t want nobody messing with my ass That might change my manhood or whatever the fuck they’re thinking right or I’m not eating somebody else’s ass because that’s not clean And I’ve always been taught that ass is dirty.
[00:23:11] King Noire: Well, one, you know, people can watch. There’s a whole lot of washing that can be done. You can, you can eat some ass in the shower if you need to wash yourself. You should be doing that. Even if you’re not getting your ass eight, you should still wash your ass either either way. But you know what I’m saying?
[00:23:24] King Noire: But like these little hang ups that we have that then are holding us back. From all the pleasure we can have, you know what I’m saying? Or it can be little things. It could be like, I don’t like letting people get on top of me because I don’t feel like I don’t feel in control or I don’t want to ride somebody because I don’t want to lose myself because I know that position feels so good to me.
[00:23:43] King Noire: You know, it’s like, like there’s so many different ways and angles that we deny ourselves pleasure.
[00:23:47] Jess O’Reilly: And gender comes into this. I know you, you talk, because you’re an educator, and you have a whole program on porn and parenting, right? Yes. But you talk about masculinity. Sure. And so, I wonder what that means to you, because we, we hear a lot about [00:24:00] masculinity, the manosphere, some of the toxic masculinity that’s out there, but that’s a separate thing from masculinity in itself.
[00:24:06] Jess O’Reilly: What does it mean to you? Where have we gotten lost, and how do we find ourselves back to a… Beautiful place.
[00:24:12] King Noire: Sure. And this, and this kind of also goes to the last thing we were talking about. I think men leave a lot of pleasure on the table because we are wrapped up in these ideas of what it means to be a man, even in regards to pleasure.
[00:24:25] King Noire: Like it’s changed, like, you know, things slowly change. But I think about like, for example, like first scenes I ever did that I was getting my ass ate or whatever people be like, Oh, that shit is gay. Yeah. I’m like, how is it gay? And it’s a woman that’s eating my ass. Like, not the definition of what gay is, but also even that, calling someone gay or being gay as being referred to as something that is a negative.
[00:24:49] King Noire: I don’t know. If that’s what it is, then I guess I’m that like, you know what I’m saying? That’s fine. Whatever, you know, being able to actually let go of those things. And I think really, it comes from a place of masculinity being defined to us by what a man can control, what a man can dominate. And I don’t mean dominate in the fun way.
[00:25:09] King Noire: And what a man can kind of either build or destroy. Right. And Masculinity does not have to mean that for everybody and really masculinity doesn’t just mean those things because regardless of gender people can build some shit up or fuck some shit up regardless of what the gender is people can dominate a situation regardless of what their gender is, you know, but I do think there is this idea that a man is a man if a man can like basically hurt other people, you know, um, And I don’t think that that, I mean, it’s clearly not healthy.
[00:25:41] King Noire: It’s clearly not helping the world for men to define themselves by being able to hold women back in every single possible aspect or lash out at trans folk or whatever the case, you know, in order to get to a healthy place is to realize that masculinity, femininity are our [00:26:00] ideas, you know, and we all have our own ideas of what it is.
[00:26:03] King Noire: We can all ask. You know, 10 people and get different answers or hundreds of people and get different answers. And all of us don’t live up to what somebody else’s answer is for what femininity or masculinity is. So it’s important to find out what it is for you and how you can be whatever that is in a constructive way that does not Impede on anybody else’s idea of what it is and also hopefully Enhances other people’s ideas of what it is to be masculine feminine or none of that shit You know Like I just think as human beings We should all strive to be the best human being we can be for ourselves and also to add on to the collective world that we live in in a positive way If you’re not hurting other people, if you’re not fucking up other people’s shit and putting them down for who they are, then you live in a positive life.
[00:26:49] King Noire: And that’s how we can actually make the world a better place, ourselves, better people. And then you open yourself up to a whole lot more pleasure because people don’t hate you. You know what I’m saying? Like, people will want good things for you, you’ll want good things for yourself.
[00:27:01] Jess O’Reilly: And you don’t hate yourself.
[00:27:02] King Noire: Facts.
[00:27:02] Jess O’Reilly: There’s a lot of that.
[00:27:02] King Noire: Yeah, I think there’s a lot of that. And then people get wrapped up in those, like, toxic ideas of what masculinity is because they truly hate themselves. So they’re like, alright, I’m gonna go out there and, I don’t know, be fucking Rambo or some shit and Rambo up places that don’t need a fucking Rambo.
[00:27:20] Jess O’Reilly: Mm hmm.
[00:27:21] King Noire: You know, like, you see, you see these people who have, like, I mean, and we see it, unfortunately, we live in a world where there’s a lot of violence on everybody. Nobody is above or beyond violence in the society that we live in. And a lot of times that violence is from people who truly hate themselves and then lash out at people who seem to be loving themselves and one another.
[00:27:43] Jess O’Reilly: So you have a son, how are you raising him differently?
[00:27:47] King Noire: To be himself, to, to… It’s, it’s okay to, I think a lot of times as men, we want our sons to be the things that either we have [00:28:00] accomplished or the things we wish we could have accomplished and then push them to do shit that they really don’t want to find, you know, so it’s like trying to associate the things that he is interested in and support him in that.
[00:28:12] King Noire: But then also provide some of the knowledge and experience that I’ve gained in life like hopefully like hey There’s some big ass mistakes that I made. Please don’t make the same ones make your own You know and just trying to also show like I didn’t grow up with any real love from my father like that So just even being able to say like I love you I think is, is different than how I was raised.
[00:28:35] Jess O’Reilly: Yeah, that’s a big thing. That’s not something that was said in my
[00:28:38] Brandon Ware: family. I think it was said in my family, but it lacked meaning. And, and, but no, no, no. And, and I don’t mean, do you know what I mean? Like, it was just like, Oh, I love you. Yeah. Okay. Love you. You know what I mean? And there was no depth. There was no sincerity.
[00:28:52] Brandon Ware: And I think that maybe I shouldn’t say that there was, but it was flippant. And. Uh, I think when somebody expresses it, but then the actions reflect it, it’s, it’s so much more meaningful. And I think just listening to you describe how you love your son and your children. I can’t imagine that the world isn’t going to be a better place as a result of how you’re interacting and how you’re, you’re modeling behavior for how they should navigate themselves in this world.
[00:29:23] Brandon Ware: Like, it just seems like such a. A sincere and loving relationship that’s only going to make the world better.
[00:29:30] Jess O’Reilly: So true. Okay. We’ve taken so much of your time. Oh, thank you for having me. But no, I know you have to go, but I want to quickly ask you about Kink in Costa Rica.
[00:29:38] King Noire: Oh, everybody needs to come with Jasmine and me literally to Costa Rica.
[00:29:44] King Noire: Uh, we’re doing actually, we’re doing, um, this will be year two of Kink in Costa Rica. And we get people together to go travel through, I mean, it’s a beautiful place. We take some day trips and all that. We have a [00:30:00] amazing chef who cooks up everything that’s pretty much like locally called local farm to table type shit.
[00:30:07] King Noire: It’s the food is amazing. But then at night. We get wow, kinky, like, like extremely, like, so we do what it could be like one night we might just focus on bondage. Another night we might focus on, uh, on impact play or something like that. Kind of teach it and then it’s open play for the night. But these are people now that you’ve been able to bond with on our day trip to go to the beach or, you know, hung out with at the pool because it’s actually two pools.
[00:30:35] King Noire: At the spot. And we have masseuses on site and it’s completely just us. There’s nobody from the outside. That’ll be there. That isn’t somebody who either, uh, is working or another performer or teacher or something like that. So it’s like, you don’t have to worry about other folks getting in your way or anything like that.
[00:30:57] King Noire: So you can truly immerse yourself in with other people who are kinky as fuck like you are and into similar things or into different things. And then y’all could learn from one another and just, oh, we was getting it in out there. And it’s couples, singles, anyone can come? It could be singles, whatever your orientation is.
[00:31:13] King Noire: You know, we actually have interviews with everybody prior to, to make sure that people are there for the right reasons and whatnot. And then we have a big group meeting prior to, so people can either. Exchange information or just at least ask some questions of their fellow, their fellow travel mates.
[00:31:33] Jess O’Reilly: And I know you and Jasmine do such a good job creating a safe space.
[00:31:36] Jess O’Reilly: So people should check this out. King, king Costa Rica. Your website is king noir.com. But Noir has an E on the end, folks. Yes, king Noir do not.com.
[00:31:47] King Noire: You can actually go to kink and costa rica.com too.
[00:31:49] Jess O’Reilly: Okay, thanks.
[00:31:49] King Noire: So you could go, you, you can go straight there. And, Submit your application and you will be speaking with one of the Royal Fetish team members to see if you can come with us.[00:32:00]
[00:32:00] Jess O’Reilly: I love it. I love it. Thank you for all the work that you do. You’re creating art, obviously, you’re creating beauty, you’re creating sexuality, sensuality, and you’re doing important activism. We didn’t really get a chance to talk about. I wanted to ask you about one of your posts around what has changed since 2020 when people wanted to hear your voice and now it seems like they’ve taken their foot off of that.
[00:32:18] Jess O’Reilly: Hmm have to maybe save that for another time.
[00:32:20] King Noire: Well, I will say this it’s interesting how people think, you know transformative how transformative a post or uh I don’t know a little a little thing that your company does once can be held up against for 500 years of oppression. It don’t really work that way.
[00:32:40] King Noire: It’s something that needs to be done every day by all of us to work together to, like we said earlier, build a better world. But if, and if people are interested, you can definitely find me at K I N G N O I R E on most things that haven’t been, uh, shadow banned or shut down. So Twitter or X, you know what I’m saying?
[00:32:58] King Noire: Instagram, kingnoir. com. KingNoirXXX. com if you feel a little frisky. WorldFetishXXX. com and Kink in Costa Rica. Lots of places, there’s lots of places, but um, yeah. And if you want to check out the music, Spotify, iTunes, Tidal, everywhere. Everywhere that is found.
[00:33:17] Jess O’Reilly: Okay, throw to your song. New single, King says.
[00:33:20] King Noire: Shout out to everybody in Jersey. There’s some Jersey club shit. Instructional fuck music. Enjoy. I hate to see you go, but love to see you walk away Your body language, talk, and everything you got to say Once them hips sway, strip you out that lingerie I can lick it all night, and I can hit it all day You got brains and a bod, down to suck your slob Pleasure that punani till you squirt like a tsunami Got me clapping up on them cheeks, snacking up on that peach Slap it up with this meat till you grappling on my tongue, pull you close so don’t run Filthy rhyme with a dirty mind Yo, comes.[00:34:00]
[00:34:00] King Noire: Just make that pussy POP Load it up for the back shots Just make that pussy POP Load it up for the back shots Just make that pussy POP Load it up for the back shots Just make that pussy POP Load it up for the back shots Fuck around, get fucked on Fuck around, get fucked on Fuck around, get fucked on Gonna fuck around, get fucked on Fuck around, get fucked on Gonna fuck around, get fucked on Fuck around, get fucked on You gonna fuck around, get fucked on Said you love to choke Hands around your throat Said you love to Choke Then go down ya throat Said you love to choke Hands around ya throat Said you love to choke Then go down ya throat Pull it out, eat it Stick it back in, stroke repeat Just pull it out, eat it Stick it back in, stroke repeat Pull it out, eat it Stick it back in, stroke repeat Pull it out, eat it Stick it back in, stroke repeat Now grind in it, just wind in it Grind in it, take your time in it Now grind in it, just wind in it, take your time with it.
[00:35:09] King Noire: I stroke you, throw it back, I spit, spit it back. Lick it from the back, spit, spit it back. spit it back. Lick it from the back, I spit, you spit it back. Like, come until your legs shake. Fuckin till the bear break. Comin to your legs shaked. Fuckin till the bear break. Comin to your legs shaked. Fuckin till the bear break.
[00:35:34] King Noire: Comin to your legs shaked. Fuckin till the bear break.
