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Sex with Dr. Jess


December 31, 2020

G-Spots, G-Zones & Squirting

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This is your ultimate guide to the G-Spot, G-Zone, ejaculation, squirting and more! We answer all of your questions including:

  • Can everyone have a squirter orgasm?
  • How do you learn to squirt?
  • What is the G-Spot and what is the G-Zone?
  • Is there a difference between squirting and ejaculation?
  • What is a squirter orgasm?
  • Can you ejaculate without having an orgasm?
  • How can you stimulate the G-Zone?
  • What are the best toys for G-Zone stimulation?
  • What toys can help you to squirt?
  • Does the volume of ejaculate relate to the intensity of the orgasm?

And much more!

To learn more about the products that can potentially stimulate the g-spot, check out the Womanizer Duo, the We-Vibe Rave, Crave’s Flex Vibrator, and the We-Vibe Nova 2.

This podcast has been sponsored by Let’sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout!

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Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

G-Spots, G-Zones & Squirting

00:00:05 – 00:05:03

You’re listening to the sacs with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with dr jazz. Podcast i’m your co host brandon. Where here with my always lovely. Other half dr jess. And it’s the last podcast of twenty twenty last conversation at twenty twenty. Dr justice decided. She’s not going to speak to me for a couple days. We know i’m not gonna stop speaking. I’m always going to be talking. I think it’s funny. When you call me dr jess it’s only on the podcast and where was whereas the other in bed in bet anyone has to call me. Dr been the running joke for what fourteen years. Yeah although i heard someone use it the other day they stole it stole. my joke. Stole your jokes patent in these things. So today we’re going to be talking about squirting and ejaculation ejaculation orgasms. And i think when we think about ejaculation. We tend to think about penis says. But it’s for all bodies. Squirting of course is not a sideshow trick. You don’t get points for volume or distance force and it doesn’t even mean you have a bigger or better orgasm although for some people that’s their experience but i think for most of us what we know about squirting or what we believe about squirting comes from pornography and i get so many questions about squirting people wanna know you know how to do it. Can everybody do it. what do you use to do it. What is it is it p. How do i get my partner to do it. Does it really feel good. What do i do and my partner doesn’t want to do it. And i have to admit that. I’d seen ninety percent of the questions i receive around. Squirting are really rooted in performance. And i think even beginning with the language it’s important to note that squirting is a bit of a misnomer because unless you’ve got us super soaker two thousand hidden in your vagina. It’s not always a big squirt across the room again in porn. I know that it’s a very visual medium. So it’s always going across the room taken camera two camera. Tuesday only got a switch to camera. One go to the wide angle but in real life it might be more of a drip or a dribble as opposed to a really visible gush. And if you’ve ever had the sex and then gotten up after the sex and there’s a wet spot in bed and then you tell your partner. Hey switch sides with me. I can’t sleep in that wet spot. It’s probably evidence of some sort of scourge or ejaculation. Now i i wanted to begin by talking about some of the research in this field because i have spoken about g spots and squirting in the past. But we do have. I don’t wanna say updated information. Just yeah. i guess it’s updated by volume. There’s more information now. And some researchers have been trying to differentiate between squirting and ejaculation. So it’s not necessarily just semantics. There are some researchers who wrote a recent paper that aim to differentiate between ejaculation and squirting and their theory suggests that these are two totally distinct processes so these researchers believe that ejaculation involves a thicker substance. That is similar to a jacket. From the penis be the prostate Where is squirting involves a more voluminous clear fluid which they say includes diluted urine and of course this is possible. It’s possible that people with a china’s. Ken both squirt and jackie late. But when i looked into the research based on what. I was able to dig up. I don’t see any confirmation that this is the case and the research paper that aim to differentiate between squirting and education so squirting being something kind of thin more probably what you see in porn and that squirting includes p an accurate being more similar to static fluid their research first of all. Has this major confirmation bias. Because they call it real jack hewlett versus the squirting ejaculate but more importantly they only looked at one single participant. Alright so. I don’t have the answers. I’m not suggesting that you know i can definitively say at squirting and jackie leading for people with china’s are in fact the same thing but what. I can’t find from the literature. I went through is dada confirming that there are these two distinct processes and matt is to me.

00:05:03 – 00:10:06

Is that so. Many people describe the sensation of fluid expulsion similarily regardless of whether not the fluid is really pent plentiful or the fluid is kind of scarce regardless of whether the fluid is thin or thick. And so for my. I guess for my purposes. Here i’m going to use squirting and jackie relation interchangeably and i’m going to admit that i don’t have all the answers and maybe a year i’ll see data otherwise and i’ll go back and update this but i’m going to use these terms interchangeably because they both involve some expulsion of fluid during sex play. And i don’t think we need to do a sniff tasks or measure the fluids or send our bodily fluids to the labs in order to experiment and enjoy pleasure. And so i wanted to begin with a discussion of the language of squirting but also you know acknowledged that some people like to squirt and some people don’t and it’s not something you must do so if you are a person who is listening for their partner and once their partner to squirt. I’m just going to implore you to take a step back from that pressure and ask yourself why. Why do i want my partner to escort. Or if i’m interested in squirting why do i wanna skirt i think this is such an important question and there’s no right or wrong answer right. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying performance. If you’re turned on by performance because i think sometimes i’ve talked about pleasure as the measure of a sexual experience but even that is very limiting. There are so many reasons we have sex. It could be emotional. Could be physical. Could be mental. Could be relational could be spiritual could be just to pass time to relieve stress like there are whatever your reasons for having sex or whatever your reasons for wanting to pursue or explore a specific experience. They’re yours and they’re valid. And i think it’s worth a little bit of reflection and so beast because you’re here let me ask you. What were your original ideas about squirting like what did you believe when you were younger. Where did you learn what did you see. What did you think. and then i’ll ask you about kind of what you think now. Never thought never thought about it or saw it until i watch porn a never had a partner that squirted and didn’t care i personally didn’t care i think there was a point where i associated somebody squirting with my involvement and giving them an orgasm or performance. Yeah it was. It was totally performance. So the idea for a while was well if my if for instance. Let’s talk about us if you were squirting and if you recording in a big way that i must be doing something right and i i feel i think differently. Now i also think that from I think that if you are if you’re too wet it actually changes things for me to and that’s not to say. Oh my gosh you’re so wet. You know i must be. I must be amazing but there are different things that change it the sensation. The pleasure for me too okay. So that’s interesting because we always kind of talk wetter better but wetter isn’t always better like even for me with orgasm on. I don’t wanna get too into the nitty gritty of what i do. I’m not really comfortable with that at this moment in time. But i can say there’s a point at which some of the clitoral friction becomes to reduced if there’s too much fluid and so that is only my experience. That may not be someone else’s experience. And i think that’s before we get into you know what squirting is what the ejaculate is how to do it the different toys the different techniques. Which we’re going to get to. I just really want to underscore. Which i know i always do. And so maybe some people feel like i’m going over over and over again but the whatever feels good for you is kind of all that matters right whether that’s a good physical feeling good emotional feeling whatever works for you and i i. I think it is important to note because you mentioned that. Oh you think you’re used to think you’re doing something right. If someone was really wet or squirting. I think it’s also important to differentiate between squirting or relation and orgasm because an orgasm tends to refer to this height of pleasure followed by this like intense release whereas jack deletion or squirting specifically refers to the expulsion of fluid and we have the same differentiation that applies to penises.

00:10:06 – 00:15:00

Although most penises experienced is that you know you. Jackie lead an orgasm at the same time. You can also have dry orgasms been there. Did you know what was happening. You younger and didn’t and also I’ve noticed i’ve i’ve actually had situations where i have orgasm d- and not ejaculated as as as we’ve as i’ve gotten older and it’s a very unusual situation the first time you have kind of like what just happened. I expected things to be like. I associate orgasm and to be the same thing so when i believed to have had an orgasm without a giant leaning almost like am i still good to continue. Here have did i you know. Are we done or not. We done but am i done because did i you know is this done on my end and then all of a sudden you realize you know actually i can continue and it was a very A very unique situation. Actually i’d love to talk about that about dry orgasms because it can lead to multiple orgasms penises. You can maintain your erection if that’s something you wanna do but going back to this side. So sometimes we’ll hear skirting referred to as female generation. And of course you know we we want to break down that gender binary here But i do want to just acknowledge that term because it might be what people are looking for but skirting tends to involve because everybody wants to know so what is it and where does it come from involves the expulsion of fluid during sex. Play for people with volvos and vaginas and the fluid is believed to be associated with the skeens glands which drain into the euro three and are often considered a part of the g spot were g area or the jesus zone and cosmo came up with an article this year. Basically saying that the g spot is not a thing and sort of apologizing for being too hung up on the g spot and committing to doing better. And here’s the thing this actually for me comes down to semantics and not. Everybody’s going to agree with me but the g. zone is embedded in the spongy tissue. That surrounds the urethra and those skin. Glands are actually considered homologous to the prostate glands which explains why the contents of jack hewlett for folks with vaginas can be similar to prostatic fluid for people with penises and this the when they actually test the ejaculate found that it does contain prostatic specific antigen prostatic Phosphates urea creating glucose. Fructose other things. I don’t remember the whole list right now. and so it’s very similar to prostatic. But in some cases it can also contained traces of diluted urine so to go back to the original study. I was talking about with that single person. I think it’s important to note that things can come out at different times and it actually is not a big deal right like it feels good. You don’t have to analyze you. Don’t have to apologize and it might be one way like kind of more viscous one day. We’re a little thicker another day. It may have to do with your cycle. it may have to do with pressure pressure on the bladder. It may have to do with how much fluid is in your bladder. It’s not just when people say is it p it could contain p it may not contain p but it also doesn’t matter if you’re doing this for pleasure so if we look at exploring that jesus own and exploring a jackie shen. I do hope it’s for something that feels good for you. Not so you can check a box. Unless i guess checking a box feels good for you. So if we talk about the g spot in the area i do think jeez zone or g areas a bit more a bit of a more appropriate name and where it is is it’s accessible through the vagina. It’s not inside the vagina but you access it through the vagina along the upper wall. So you’re if you were to slide into the vagina you curl your fingers or your toy up toward the tummy wall. It doesn’t tend to be very deep but always everybody’s body is different. And dr beverly whipple was the one who named the g spot. After dr grunberg who is an md and graefin berg previously had described as a distinct era to genyk zone on the interior. Vaginal wall along the urethra that response to sexual stimulation. But i think it’s important to note that it’s not a magic button. Not everybody likes this.

00:15:00 – 00:20:06

G zone played with and it’s an area marked by many sensitive nerve pathways and tissues and organs but it is not a distinct organ or entity in and of itself. So it’s not like your eyeball or your liver. It’s an area it’s a zone and it’s not located inside the vagina. But you feel it through the vagina and wednesday simulated the tissue can begin to swell so if you were to reach and right now and try and feel it. You might not feel that zone now. What does it feel like as you become. More aroused and blood flows to area. It feels a little bit more textured and ridge like than the rest of the vaginal canal and many people will tell you that the sensitivity and even the physical sensation changes from day to day changes with the menstrual cycle. It changes with your mood. It can also change with your arousal level. So as i said if you reach a now you may not feel kind of the ridge or textured area but the more turned on you get the more you might feel that texture so interesting to me that you talked about the idea like do you care if we were having sex and i was doing something that you really liked and if you were to squirt a lot i wouldn’t care what was in it like it. Just i would actually be happy if you were enjoying it. And it wouldn’t matter what’s in it. Like i just when people start when i when i hear this study abode getting study but people getting hung up on me. What’s inside the fluid to me. I think about my own perspective. I’m like what do i care. What senate if you’re vibrant on this. I think the flip side is as the person who’s releasing that fluid. We could feel self conscious if we thought it was like. I’m comfortable with you. And even if i did pee on you it wouldn’t be something that stresses me out but maybe with a new partner or that we might feel more sensitive more more self conscious now in terms of volume generally speaking. It’s it’s not like a cup of fluid or half a cup it’s often less than a teaspoon volume And of course human variation is so very right. Some people expelled more. Some people expelled less. But i think it’s also important to note that the volume of fluid is not necessarily indicative of pleasure. Right so i. If i’m sweating or if i’m drooling in my sleep the amount of fluid released just it varies from person to person so it’s not a contest so when i say for example it tends to be less than a teaspoon in volume. Somebody’s gonna say well. I actually squirt a ton and again this just comes down to the fact that every single body is different so just kind of do what feels good for you. A question often receive has to do with taste and some people will describe. The fluid has a little bit sweet. Some people will say that it has no taste at all. I really want to underscore that. Some people love the sensation of squirting. And they consider ejaculate orgasms just kind of the ultimate full body experience in that make sense because that jesus tone is thought to communicate with brain with the brain via the deep inner visions of the vagus nerve and the vagus nerve wanders throughout the body which creates a more full bodied sensation. And so some people just love it and some people are like a. It’s just more laundry right so it is really different for each person. One of the most common questions. I get and this tends to come from hetero men who were having sex with women they wanna know if everyone can squirt like they seem to be. I get this question all the time. I’ve got it several times this week via email people wanna know. Can everyone do it. Like is something wrong with my partner. If they’re not doing it. Can i talk my partner in doing it. I suppose it’s possible for everyone to experience some version of squirting but it likely won’t look like it does in porn because porn is such a visual medium. So you know. Sexist physical emotional relational spiritual audio visual so much more but with porn. It’s just this kind of one dimension of what can i see. Maybe even what can i hear. But the real process of sacks is diluted or enhanced by all these other things so if you’re just looking for the visual evidence it may seem like someone isn’t squirting and i just again wanna get away from that piece around pressure so i hope i’ve covered kind of all the basics before we get into the house so the jesus own is part of the original sponge you access it by sliding into the vaginal canal and curling up toward the tummy wall.

00:20:06 – 00:25:12

You’ll feel something that’s a bit more textured and this area tends to be associated with jocular tori orgasms now or orgasms. And if you want to learn escort there so many different ways obviously to play with this g area. But i always recommend that you kind of enjoy the whole process. So you know. Caress your body or your partner’s body for a few minutes rob and touch and vibe between their legs against their lips against their torres against their thighs. Don’t go straight for the g spot. I think when we get hung up on an outcome we go straight for this supposedly button which is not a button. It’s just an area and kind of keep touching and stroking caressing vibing in a way that just gets year gets you really turned on like feel your body getting aroused. Allow your breath to really deepen. Let your sounds flow before you even go close to the g spot. So i’m talking like five minutes. Ten minutes of fantasizing or really just thinking about what feels good for you and then when you’re ready you can curl a couple of lube up yours or a toy and i’ll talk about toys in a moment in to a really shallow depth into the vaginal canal and press up toward the tummy wall and you might just kind of rock against that spot or you might kind of pulse spot. You might take your fingers and kind of. Let’s say you’re using your index and middle fingers and just kind of open and close those fingers on the visual is sort of like scissors opening and closing. But i know that doesn’t sound good for for the vagina but it’s not as just your fingers. You might kind of tick talk sort of like a windshield wiper over that area slowly and gently as the arousal builds and as you or they get closer to orgasm. One of the ways to bring on a squirting orgasm involves stimulating that jesus zone from the inside out. And now i’ve seen live demos of of female ejaculation or g-spot ejaculation. And i think. I have to admit that early on. I was kind of incredulous. When i thought is the technique that can lead to escort her orgasm and i again. I want to say that. It’s not a surefire technique. But i’ve watched many people with vaginas. Enjoy these gusher orgasms up. Were you there for any of those babe. I was not. You weren’t so. I m guy have not witnessed if you will in real life somebody Bringing somebody else to gaza okay. So i thought you were there. But i was at hedonism and humanism is actually very close to where we are right now and sometimes i would go without you. You’re never prioritized coming to hedonism. And i do recall. A bunch of folks standing up and people would do this technique. So the tech technique would involve getting them all riled up and turned on in whatever way works for them. And everybody’s different. But then they would curl two fingers into the vaginal canal and kind of move in a come hither motion toward the tummy. And quite frankly they would do this really quickly and really. I’m i’m gonna describe it how i saw it aggressively like it just looked so fast and aggressive that watching it was definitely not a turn on for me but i think it’s because i wasn’t aroused like i was kind of watching it from this educational or clinical perspective trying to learn and these people who were volunteering were actually turned on. And so when you’re turned on you’ve got that oxytocin the adrenaline at flood your body so things that might otherwise feel uncomfortable like felt uncomfortable for me to watch start to feel good so it good for them but for me. It looked really aggressive so they would curl in this come hither motion like come here with their two fingers hard against that g spot in that in the vaginal canal and then they take their other hand and presses it against the lower abdomen and sort of press and release smoothly in rhythm with the internal hand. So what you’re doing is you’re stimulating that you re throw sponge the site of the area from inside the vagina and through the abdominal wall and observe people squirting. Now does that mean. It’s going to work. You know like a charm on everyone know it worked for these people and kind of followed the rhythm of their hips allowing the body to kind of sink into the rhythm and the pressure and so if we were to kind of break this down into steps.

00:25:12 – 00:30:09

Because i’m talking free form here. You’re curling against the g spot internally you’re pressing on the abdominal wall externally and what these folks described is that they would bear down with their pelvic floor muscles like they’re pushing something out of their vagina so rather than kind of tensing up like we tend to do. With more of a clitoral focused orgasm the they would actually push out so we’ve got the curling on the g spot pressing on the abdomen relaxing breathing heavily already being turned on and then using that bearing down motion to allow the fluid to be expelled. And for many of us this feels really counter intuitive So the more familiar. You become with your pelvic floor. The more likely you’ll be able to kind of release the tension during sex because this bearing down station is often described as really essential to enjoying both the more full bodied sensation associated with the zone and allowing the release of that fluid. Now when you press on the abdomen you’re pressing on the bladder and so for some people. It can feel really uncomfortable. Because they’re scared of peeing and they hold back and don’t allow themselves to experience that sensation and that’s okay all right. And here’s here’s the other thing i’ve had people tell me that emptying their bladder ahead of time helps to put them at ease so that they they don’t feel like they’re peeing. But then i’ve had people say. I prefer full bladder because it puts more pressure on my g spot. So this again comes back to the fact that you’ve got to figure out what works for you chim’s i i feel like i would need to like the idea of letting go would be very difficult right that feeling of having to p. Yeah and just. I guess i’m also visualizing this happening in a setting where other people are watching and for me. That would be very difficult to relax now. I know i’m not having a. I’m not able to have a jeep. G-spot squirting orgasm. You actually are via your prostate. Your piece spot okay. So let’s go that. Let’s go that road. If somebody was doing that to me in a group setting i can guarantee you that the the first few times it would not work out. Well for anybody me in particular. Yeah i’m with you. Because i get self conscious. Some people really like. I’m thinking about this group of people who lined up i can tell you is in the disco at hedonism to and remember getting towels because i was like the forest sturdy the is getting dirty but the practical side comes in right but are exhibitionists they really. I’m not saying that you know you don’t have moments where you’re also into exhibition ism but some people are really turned on by that public setting. I will say that many of these folks had done it before like it wasn’t their first time there were people who lined up for the first time and i have to admit my mind was blown real again. This is just observation just anecdote. I’m not saying. Hey if you do this this will happen. I also think that part of what made the expulsion of fluid more discernible had to do with the fact that they were standing right. So i can see the flu down your leg standing unassuming that everyone was lying down so the assumption that you could see it. I would think had to be a large amount but now that you’re saying that they were standing it makes sense yet. They were standing and they’re also comfortable with themselves and comfortable with the sensation and again squirting is not for everyone so the g spot jesus own. It doesn’t always feel good to have it touched. I always use the example of feet. Some people love having their feet rubbed. Some people don’t only you know what works for you and so i will say though that what feels good on day. One of your menstrual cycle for those who menstruate may not feel good on day fourteen. And so i do think that sometimes trying things a couple of times in different ways without pressure without the pressure to escort just to enjoy the process. And even when i think about putting this podcast i’m so afraid of it being one more layer of pressure on people so ag- again like if you never squirt but you do some of these things you might learn something new about your body. You might discover new pathway to pleasure. So i specifically shared that kind of squared or technique that involves a couple of fingers in the vagina hand on the abdomen. But there are of other ways to squirt so if you’re having intercourse with the pinas or with a strap on any position that puts pressure on your g spot may result in a more.

00:30:09 – 00:35:03

Jackie tori orgasm. I’ve seen other people focus on the use spot now. The use spot is the area around the urea thrall made us so the whole that. Up out of some people will actually pull out the stop doing the come hither motion and they’ll just play around the outside of the re thread to put some pressure on those glands. Right there I’ll tell you personally for me. That doesn’t feel good but for other people. It feels really good. I’ve seen other people combined. G spot stimulation with stimulation of the clitoral head and that results in a jacket from giving you lots of options here Certainly if you want to use toys one of the toys that can lead to a quarter and intense orgasm is the womanizer duo so the womanizer duo is a dual arm toy so the outer arm has an opening that sits around the head of the clitoris and releases. Those little waves of air changes in air pressure to create kind of a suction sensation over the head of the external taurus. But the inner arm curves upward inside the vagina against the g spot to provide really rumbling vibrations. And you can actually control each of these arms separately. So you can customize with kind of gentle suction on the outside and more powerful vibrations internally against the g spot. It’s kind of up to you. How you customize it so that one is called the womanizer duo and not only you know. Listen if you don’t have a square to orgasm probably going to have some some fun with it nonetheless and a if you do go to the womanizer sites a womanizer dot com. Please do use code. Dr jess to save a few dollars and so that they know that you heard about it here. They’re not sponsoring this podcast. But i do love it and they do. Give me credit if you if you check it out another toy. That’s really great. Just for the g spot. Is the we vibe rave so this is an asymmetrical vibrator that is perfect for the g spot. And it looks sort of phallus shaped but it actually has an early on handle so it’s really easy to maneuver and it has soft they call them pleasure edges. They’re sort of like a gentle ridge along the portion. That goes inside. So it gives you a little extra stimulation and with this toy. A lot of people like to kind of rock back and forth from side to side and pulse against that upper inner wall. The jesus you can kind of start with the lowest since the lowest sensation vibrations and kind of work your way up and the other option with a toy like the rave is that rather than moving the toy. You can actually just use your hips. Which can be a little bit more intuitive so we have the womanizer duo and the we vibe rave as in you know the party that brandon used to go to in the dark with furry pants and a yoyo. I actually never did go but thank you. You look like a river to me. We know okay. Do you have a yellow beard. You like died your beard. Tips frost yet. A frosted took fear. You did have frosted tips. I did lakewood ten. You’re you’re welcome. And you want some photos i can get you get you. The other thing is with that womanizer. Do the first time i saw it. I thought to myself did somebody watch star trek and the what is it that uss enterprise because it looks like that like i understand. It works phenomenally. Well does look like little took a spaceship. You’ll know the womanizer duo. When you see this ship what do you call it. S the us. Enterprise the star trek. It’s the thing that flies to the ship ship the spaceship. That’s it if you are interested. In the we’ve i products that we dot com. You can also use code doctor just to save. And then there’s this other toy that i thought would be kind of interesting against the g spot. it’s called. I haven’t tried it yet. It’s called the crave flex and it’s kind of. Has this flexible tip so you can adjust it to kind of suit your own angles. And they used a community of beta beta testers to help design the different vibrating settings and again. Just bend the kind of soft tip So that you get the pressure against your g spot that you want so A couple of options there. Oh i should also mention the new nova too. So you’ve probably heard me talk about the novell which is kind of an updated version of the old school rabbit vibrator it has two arms.

00:35:03 – 00:40:02

So one internal one x turn on and because it stimulates two distinct areas that are believed to communicate pleasure to the brain via two separate nerve pathways so the pew dental nerve in the vagus nerve. This nova to has the potential to kind of produce more varied and intense orgasms. And i’ve had many people who have just discovered scripture orgasms The used the inner arm which curves into the vaginal canal to press on the area with the kind of very rumble levi abrasions. And then the arm benz to press and vibrate against the journal hood shaft and head of the Torres and it’s adjustable and what i like about this toy is that it’s not an in an out sensation. I mean you can use it that way if you but it’s really designed to be used in kind of a rocking back and forth I want to say circular motion but more of like a rounded motion and so you can really pulse it against the g spot to play with different rhythmic sensations and you can also try in different positions. I i hear from a lot of people who like using the nova to on their side so they can sort of squeeze their legs together and increase the pressure. Not only internally. It’s got a bulb that’s obviously going to stimulate the g spot but also kind of increases pressure against the lips on the outside and that’s the we vibe nova to the we’ve i mean again. I know we’re not promoting them here. So i you know promoting not sponsoring this but i really liked their toys. I think they look beautiful. I like the colors. I like everything about them. Never heard i know it’s really weird but it’s just it’s a nice looking toy. Brands still hung up on the pivot. Oh yeah that’s my jam jam. You know because we’re talking about squirting. And i kind of wanted to cover everything. I hope i’ve covered a lot here. I hope that i’ve really differentiated between squirting as something that you might explore versus something that you get points for. I do hope that folks stop pressuring their partners to squirt like please no really. There’s nothing that takes away from pleasure for me at least for so many people as much as pressure. We always say pressure is the antithesis to pleasure. And i wanted to briefly close by talking about getting wet because we’re talking about squirting so i think we’d be remiss not to talk about bodily fluids like vaginal lubrication because getting wet is often seen as the sign of arousal and i. I’m just going to speak from my experience. That sometimes i’m super aroused and i’m dry and sometimes i’m not aroused it all and i wish wasn’t wet and i hear this from hundreds of people that the body’s physiological reactions to desire and arousal don’t always align with you know what we expect and i do think people think. Oh you’re hard you must be turned on. Oh you’re wet. You must be turned on. But that’s not always the case. Ask any fifteen year old boy about desire arousal and it’s like. Why do you have an erection in tenth grade math class. You know what i mean like. I don’t know soap boxers. We’re talking about algebra all of a sudden you’ve got an erection solving for access hot. Yeah absolutely so. I just kind of wanted to talk about that. I don’t know. I think you sort of thought that way at times right like that if i’m wet then you’re doing all right or something. Yeah i mean that really resonates with me going back to. Wha what am i. What am i hoping to get to this if i am. I just tried to check a box as you said. And if you are that’s cool but my goal is you know obviously pleasure for myself and pleasure for you so. I’m just trying to do anything that i feel like. You’re really digging in the moment. And if i keep doing that and if you were to squirt awesome and if you were to not squirt but you’re still feeling it then i think that’s awesome to and of course i’m enjoying myself along the way so i guess for me would be. What am i going into this trying to achieve and if we had a conversation i had a time where i said to you re. It really turns me on when you squirt because it happened once before. I really wanna do that again. Then i feel like that’s going to be what i want to do. But there’s two people in this dance so the other person has to be. You would have to be down for that too. Yeah i’ll tell you if. I had it in my head that i need to squirt or that. You want me to skirt. I probably just wouldn’t be able to because of the pressure. Yeah i’d be focused on whether that’s happening and then i wouldn’t be tuned into the pleasure for me. It just takes away from the mindfulness of it.

00:40:02 – 00:42:04

And that’s really what i don’t want to add to that burden for people so just once again i do hope that you play with some of these techniques. Play with some of these toys. Get to know your body explore that g zone but also know that whatever your experiences you know you know your body best and so if something feels good maybe explored a bit more. If it doesn’t feel good chauvet and do something else. And i will say the biggest mistake we make when we’re trying something new oftentimes is we go straight to the new thing and i always encourage people to do what you already know. Works so if kissing and snuggling or fingering or finger in the bud or licking the left ball or playing with the right nipple or a tongue in the ear or caressing. Your nostril already turns you on do those things and then add this something new but sometimes it can be really helpful to wait until you’re eighty percent of the wade orgasm before you add that new thing because then you’ll be so into the experience that you won’t be distracted by the new thing. I’ve also noticed that like for for us. We’ve started to get into something and then all of a sudden. I’m not into it so i just pull back or if i notice you’re not into it i can pull back and go back to what you just said. Which is those things that are working so well like right nipple. Left left ball for brandon. This is okay. Maybe backwards anyway. Yeah it’s the opposite isn’t it. let’s just tell the truth. If you’re loving. I end on that note. We’re going to wrap this up last. Podcast of twenty twenty wishing everybody a happier healthier lowering zayed’s twenty twenty one. These safe healthy. you know. there’s just so much good to look forward to in twenty twenty one. Yes thanks for chatting with me. Thanks folks for listening. Thanks for sending me toys all the time as well as.