September 9, 2020
Here’s What You Should Know About Sexological Bodywork
Photo by [email protected] via Unsplash
Curious about sexological bodywork? Learn more from our interview with Pamela Madsen below reading below!
1. What is your definition of sexological bodywork?
Sexological Bodywork is the embodiment of sex education. It is one thing to talk about pleasure in the body, it is a completely different territory to actually FEEL pleasure in the body. Sexological Bodywork is a trauma-informed healing modality that supports clients in accessing and/or expanding pleasure in their bodies using touch, sound, movement, breath and interoception (internal noticing), that they may not otherwise have the space or ability to do on their own in everyday life.
2. What are the misconceptions of sexological bodywork?
That there are no trainings, that everyone is just doing whatever they want. Sexological Bodyworkers adhere to a Code of Ethics and we have an association that keeps us growing and learning. That touch-work is muddy and grey, but we have undergone detailed consent training about how to interact with clients bodies that always ensures a sense of safety in their nervous systems. Our primary intention is to Do No Harm, and through this we work first and foremost with where the client is at, not where we think they should be.
That we are all hedonists, not healers. But we also know that pleasure is a biological imperative to survival, it is NOT frivolous.
3. How does it work exactly? And what are the benefits?
We know that trauma lives and exists in the body. There are plenty of Somatic Therapists coming to the forefront of therapeutic healing because of the work of Gabor Mate, Peter Levine, Bessel van de Folk, Resmaa Menakem, to name a few. So we work with the body. The WHOLE body. As Sexological Bodyworkers were are trained to touch and interact with people’s genitals as well as their entire body. In a world where sex education hasn’t been a priority, you can imagine that there is a lot of unlearning to do when it comes to accessing pleasure in bodies. How many times has someone touched you in a way you didn’t like and you tolerated it? How many times have you gotten distracted during sex or masturbation and are unable to focus? How often have you gone searching for pleasure in an interaction and been unable to find any? How quickly are your sexual interactions happening? What happens when you slow down? What happens when you are in complete control of the touch that you are receiving? What happens when we encourage spaciousness around pleasure with the removal of a race to orgasm?
Sexological Bodywork is a space for all of these questions to unfold where our clients get to prioritize themselves and their pleasure without the confusion of another person also trying to make it about them.
We are rewiring the patterns in the body to lean deeper into the experience of pleasure. To create positive and safe experiences of pleasure in the body; no disassociation, no collapse, no flight, fight or freeze. Present, mindful, enjoyable, slow experiences of pleasure.
4. How would you go about finding a sexological bodyworker?
Check out the Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers. Or call us at Back to the Body, where we have worked with women and couples for over a decade in retreat space in person in exotic locations, private retreats and even in our virtual program called Everyday. We primarily work with humans who identify as women, but we also word with couples.
5. How does it tie into erotic sisterhood?
The patriarchy is alive and present in all of our bodies. When women come together to talk about their pleasure without men around, we begin to learn the truth about how much power we actually have. When our pleasure is OURS, and our bodies exist not just to service the men we are in relationship with, we start to notice the wild abundance that lives inside our beings. We feel celebrated, surrounded by cheerleaders who applaud us for our relaxation into bodily delights, who applaud us for stopping and just being, who high five us for our valuable and clear “No’s”. Erotic Sisterhood allows us to stand fully alive in who we are in the depths of our pleasure.
6. What is the value of learning bodies in a group?
You know you are not alone. You know you are normal. You aren’t going home after a session with a practitioner and processing it by yourself, you can reach out and talk to anyone because they are going through the same experience. You know you are held in your darkest shadows by a community of people.
8. Where can we learn more about your work?
You can follow me on Instagram at @backtothebodyorg and @thepamelamadsen.
Pamela is the visionary and founder of Back to the Body, Inc (BttB), which provides sexological bodywork experiences in a safe, supported retreat environment for women. BttB also provides private retreats, online courses, virtual immersion programs and free online education. Back to the Body has been running it’s specialist services for women for close to a decade and has participated in a long term study which demonstrated the efficacy is supporting women with low libido or low desire, difficulty with arousal and orgasm, body image or body shame issues, vaginal pain, and difficulty with their friendships with other women. Women who participated in Back to the Body programs were also shown to better be able to communicate their desires and initiate sexual encounters. To learn more about Back to the Body, please visit http://www.backtothebody.org