Like Sex with Dr. Jess on FacebookFollow Sex with Dr. Jess on InstagramFollow Sex with Dr. Jess on TwitterSubscribe to Sex with Dr. Jess's channel on YouTubeSubscribe to Sex with Dr. Jess's RSS feed
Sex with Dr. Jess

Blog

June 19, 2020

The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay: An Exercise for Singles and Couples

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Marla & Jess wrote a book, The Ultimate Guide to Foreplay & Seduction! They’re having a virtual launch party to celebrate: Wednesday, June 24th at 7pm EST. Register to attend for free! 

In this week’s episode, Jess and Marla chat about their book launch as well as:

    • Marla’s thoughts on BLM
    • Pleasure as resistance
    • Sex Down South
    • What makes us seductive
    • How we entice our lovers
    • How we manage rejection

They work their way through one of the Lovers’ Inquiries in the book and encourage you to consider these questions/discussions prompts too:

    • What is the most seductive thing about you?
    • What have other people told you about your sex appeal? What do they say turns them on when it comes to your personality, behaviour or appearance?
    • What makes you anti-seductive? Would you like to change anything about your behaviour or approach?
    • What do people find curious about you? How do you entice others to be curious about you?
    • Do you consider yourself open-minded? Is there anything you would like to work on when it comes to keeping an open mind?
    • How do you handle rejection? How did you respond the last time you faced rejection (not limited to sex)? Do you want to adjust the way you think or behave moving
      forward?
    • Do you tend to take things personally? What might you do differently in the future?
    • Do you find that you are present and mindful when you spend time with your lover(s) or on your own? What helps you to stay in the moment? What detracts you from
      being mindful and present?

And a special thanks to our sponsors: Good for Her, Naughty in N’Awlins, Charis Books & More, We-Vibe, Womanizer, Macton Housing Group & Astroglide!

UltimateGuideForeplaySeduction

 

 

 

If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible.

And be sure to subscribe on Apple PodcastsSpotifyPodbeanGoogle Podcasts, Amazon MusicStitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.
The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay: An Exercise for Singles and Couples

00:00:05 – 00:05:07

You’re listening to the sacs with Dr. Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight. Hey Welcome to the sex with Dr Jazz podcast Jess Riley here without my regular co-pilot, brandon wear, but just as fabulous I won’t say better because Brennan might listen to this this podcast, but just as fabulous I have with me today via distance Marla Renee Stewart of fabulous professional sexologists, intimacy, relationships, sex, coach, speaker, and author, and she is the CO founder of sex down South which we’ll talk about, but also the CO author of our most recent book, the ultimate guide to seduction and four play. MARLA thanks so much for chatting with me. Yes thank you so much for having me here. It makes cited to be here again. Incited to talk to you and you and I have been on a ton of podcasts promoting our book, but we haven’t really sat down together and talked about it. No No, we’ve sat down and talked about other things. Yes met many things as of late, so I mean I should ask how you’re doing right now. I know there’s a lot of stuff going on in the world, a lot of heavy emotions being processed and oftentimes I think people want a separate sex as this mechanical or light or purely pleasure base topic from the political, but sexuality is highly political. Yeah? It’s so interesting because you know. This is my life’s work and I always believed that the personal is political. So what we do in the bedroom is always going to be political whether we want to hide. Those things are not. It’s still going to affect our everyday life, and even thinking about the current circumstances. It’s just kind of interesting I was. Actually talking to Luna yesterday and I was talking about how all of a sudden everybody’s like Oh. Yes, black lives matter you know an NFL like. I guess you know black lives matter you know and like all of these you know corporate organizations you know, have finally stopped hitting the snooze button and are now starting to listen because now they actually see you know. And there was one thing I saw said like when Fox News and CNN appear on the same thing. You know you know you know it’s got to be wrong and I’m just like. Wow all right so. I think it’s you know. Hard of me is just like okay. Now we’re saying everybody is saying okay. Black lives matter, but what are they actually doing? You know and I think a lot of these companies are saying, but what are they implementing in their policies? What are they doing to ensure that black lives matter and you know the folks who are working for them. Particularly, the black folks info color who are working for them. You know what are they doing for them? In terms of them with their life and bettering their life, and so for me, it’s just You know I’m hoping. You know unfortunately I. Just hope it’s just not charade I. Hope it just doesn’t disappear. There was. One Company. I was looking at where I like to look at for all these different goods in there were like Ho- black lives matter, and this is what we are actually doing like. We are going to make sure that all of our sellers is sort of like an alternative to Amazon, but it is like all of our sellers are are. Going to implement twenty five black business owners for two hours. To make sure they are also on our list in. We’re GONNA. Do even better by twenty twenty one and so for me. It’s just like okay. This company is actually doing something. You WanNa. Shout them out. We don’t have any big. Don’t worry. Amazon’s not one of my staff. The company is called like uncommon good so yes. I like their glassware. Yeah, I really love like all their unique things and. In so I was just like Oh. This is really awesome. Like I’m glad like a company that I’ve been looking at. Has Actually. is actually doing something about that and so. That is what I’m really happy about. Is You know companies who are implementing these things? and. To go back to thinking about how you know pleasure and how the personal is political. You know like I said. This is my life’s work I’ve always been saying. Pleasure is one thing that we can control in. You know we can’t control all of the things that are around as we can’t control you know how other people treat us.

00:05:07 – 00:10:12

What we can’t control is the way that we are what we’re doing our lives, and as far as pleasure goes in how in in our relationships with one another, these are the things that we can control to help you know the betterment of people and. I also believe that you know we. We’ve got to come together. So those folks who likes shy away from having these conversations that are really really important. It’s very important number one that they get called out. I believe you know I believe they should get called out but I believe there’s a way of calling out people and especially white people to say like. Hey, you did this thing that was wrong and like this is why it’s wrong and let me tell you you know out of fix it. Because clearly you’re you’re. You’re kind of ignorant to it and so And Yeah. Just reminds me of sex sound south went, and you know I had another conference organizer emailed me and was just like. Hey, do you? Don’t you think that sex down south? Should be This is a a white woman. By the way, let’s just clarify to everyone I’ve talked about sex south many times, but it is a sex conference that you organized and you can give us. The the elevator pitched. So sex sound south is a three day a sexist sexuality conference where we focus on all learning workshops, so the type of workshops that we do. Jess and like a lot of other folks from around the country in the world. To come in and teach their thing and are enthusiasts are always really excited to learn more and experience for and so we learned during the day. We have fun and party at night, so it’s really unexperienced experience. It’s really it’s a very family. Oriented Experience just lots of family lots of friends who are in the industry, and just being really welcoming, loving each other. And so. Like yes, like so this white woman contacts me and she’s decided well since the majority of our conferences, people of Color. You know she was just like well. Why don’t you just make sex down south? Like all people of Color and I was like no I was like white. People need to learn from people of Color. You know we’ve been learning from white people for so long, and that is the prominent institution in which we all have to assimilate, so no like you need to come to this conference. You actually need to come to this conference because you need to learn something different and new you know more than. You know the your conference that you’ve been. Conducting. And so, and that’s so. That’s so true that you know. Sexually conferences have always been a very white and very old. So I challenge. You know folks who are listening if this conversation is making you uncomfortable to please just keep an open mind to the reality that for many of us. We’ve never really seen our experiences reflected. We don’t usually see people who look like us. with the microphone. I I can say that for example. I can’t really think of many people who look like me. Or who look like my family working in this field and so sexton south is a really special, really special space. It really changed my whole. Connection to the industry, I always felt like I was a sexuality professional, but that I worked outside of the industry because I didn’t really see. P. My people within the industry and sex down south was really like important eye-opener for me, definitely encouraged people to check it out, and it is open to all people right people of all gender identities and sexual orientations and walks of life in and try and make it as accessible as possible, and it’s usually in Atlanta in September, but this year. There might be some changes, so we’ll. We’ll wait for some announcements for from you. Changes be under control obviously. Right. So we’re still working out, but we’ll, we’ll have A. we’ll have decision soon, and it’s so called the reason another reason I love. This conference is that it’s it’s a talk the talk, but also walked the walk conference so oftentimes. If you go to sexuality conferences, there are really interesting discussions during the day and then at night. It says about about as fun as I imagined I don’t know a dental hygiene conference being although maybe dental hygiene is fun I, don’t know. But I mean it says Vanilla, and whereas sex down south has some SAUCY racy sexy parties in the evening, so it really is cool, and you can kind of participate to whatever degree you’re comfortable. You can be a voyeur. You can be an exhibition as you can go to the dungeon, or you can just go to a discussion group, so it’s really really cool and worth checking out so and that’s how we met and we ended up.

00:10:12 – 00:15:02

Up Writing this book over the course of the last year together, and we are hosting a virtual book launch, because all Lavar book signings in Tours and Events of course in person have been canceled, but on Wednesday June twenty fourth, so just in a couple of days Wednesday June twenty, four, th at seven PM. Eastern. On Zoom you and I are having our virtual book launched were really excited for this. It’s going to be hosted by Tommy Morgan. We are going to have share little info. It’s not like a book reading obviously, and we’re going to have some games and prizes, and some very cool sponsors with giveaways and Yeah, I think it’s going to be a great night so I thought. This is a great opportunity to talk about our book. The ultimate guide to send foreplay and I. You and I were both so proud of this project For me in comparison to any book I’ve ever written this one just blows them all out of the water and I I’m really proud of our collaboration and I. Guess I should ask you what what what excites you. What are you most proud of when it comes to the ultimate guide to seduction four, plate. Like I’m I’m kind of a like it. Thing one of the thing that I’m one of the things that I’m most proud of is the accessibility of the book and I. You know I always strive to be as accessible as possible. You know in my workshops at the conference in my life in general, and so with this book I’m really proud of just how we were able to use our language to ensure that like if you have these body parts, and this is for you, That’s what I’m really really proud of. Because folks who normally have such gender language in their lives are able to say like oh my gosh, this is actually for me I can actually do these things, and it’s not so gendered where they would feel uncomfortable, and so that’s definitely one of the things that I’m very very proud of and and I just feel like more people should should follow our lead. You know as far as how to talk to people with regards to you know thereby parts and what they do awesome. Yeah, and then the second part of the book that I’m really proud of. Everything. See I think. I think it really the communication pieces. You know like thinking about the conversations. Just. Feel like a lot of sometimes with my clients. There just aren’t having these conversations, and because this book has so many problems, and so much like you know. In questionnaires. NHS. Just think it’s super super important that you know couples or whoever you’re in a relationship with Qin can answer these questions and can use these problems to have a better understanding of your sex life. Yes I really I love the thought provoking questions that we provide in the examples that we provide those. Out to I, think that’s my favorite part as well so we wrote this book as you know kind of erotic theory, but with the practical take home, so we have sections of the book entitled Lovers, inquiries and Seduction instructions and these are. There are really I think hundreds of do this now. Questions prompts conversation starters, exercises activities so it’s it’s It’s part workbook in fact I. think if we got an an another version I’d want to include. A companion workbook. And I thought that you. Thought that you and I could try one of the seduction instructions, and as I said there’s so much more in the book, and we’re going to be talking about some of the theory of the book on June twenty-fourth, a as I said at seven PM Eastern Zoom so make sure you join that and we’re GONNA. Have that all up on our websites on our social. We’re just waiting to finalize the final details. You’ll find them actually there already. They’re they’re going to be there. But. I was thinking we could try. One of these seduction instructions now with all of these their intended for people who are either in relationships or interested in relationships, but certainly they all serve as self reflections as well so I thought we could play with the very first seduction instruction in the book that sets the tone and asks people to really consider where they wear their beginning as open the book and.

00:15:02 – 00:20:06

And, I think if you were to do everything in the book, it would be overwhelming, but if people could just do ten percent of it I think it could be life changing, so I ask you I. If you don’t mind, the very first seduction instruction, ask people to consider the questions or use them as free writing prompts just to think about where they’re at beginning with. Oh Marla here we go. What is the most seductive thing about you? ooh So. The most seductive thing about me. Kosh I would probably have to say physically my eyes, and my attention to people and I think that draws people in a lot, so yes, I feel like when people get drawn in by me. I think it’s it’s. Maybe, it’s my aura, my energy and my and my eyes, and being able to like get some real contact owing your those. Those big is. Default beautiful is. Can I add to? That I was thinking that for me? What is most attractive? Do you mind if I say what’s most attractive about? I mean physically physically. Yes, obviously. But there’s something about you. That is just. So easy going like there’s a seriousness playfulness that you balance, and you’re just really really easy. Going and I don’t know because a mutual friend of ours Luna, Matata, who everybody has heard me, speak about Luna and I have a lot in common. We talk about how you’re so different in just like your confidence. I don’t know. Do you consider yourself a really confident person because you come across as so confident? I do I do I’m pretty confident. Pretty secure. And that’s what to me. Makes you very easygoing? Actually secure is probably a better word, the High High Self self-esteem. Because I can say I’m probably a very confident person. Meaning I believe in my abilities, but not always you know Trusting that people see me in a positive light, so that’s something I can work on. Now I’ve changed the question so I should bring it back to myself. What is the most seductive thing about me? I think I’m kind of up for anything and playful like I. I’m not GonNa shut anything down and. I will always kind of present you as a lover with new options so that you know even if I don’t really want to, I’ll do it because I think it’s important, or because I think that like you know, it might be exciting, so I think the openness is what seductive. Oh, about me Yes, okay and I want to add I wanNA. I WanNa add that the one of the most seductive things I about you, is that you you have this really great conversations, and like you really ask some poignant questions that really get people thinking, and then you not only have the questions, but then you also like really think about the practice, and that for me is really really attractive. Because you know all day, we can sit here and talk about theory and you know have a blast in. Get really in our heads, but the practicality of everything is what’s really really important I think to me. That’s a beautiful thing that you always do in your conversations in your lectures and just like I, said just your even your casual. have. Sitting on the couch, you know drinking ally, so it’s like those those are the things that are really really unattractive to about you want. To. Thank. You and I miss sitting on the couch. Drinking wine with you. As soon, okay, yes, I. Don’t know if you have the book open in front of you, but then the next question is what have other people told you about your sex appeal. What do they say turns them on when it comes to you, your personality or your behavior your appearance? Sh I feel like it’s what you just described. So I think my personality, and and being able to just oh. You know what you know. One of my friends said on consistent. So. Always consistent. I know I’m like you know there’s not the you know. There’s nothing like to up and down about me. I’m just very very consistent in that. I don’t know what makes new truck did. Yeah so maybe. Yeah being open judgmental People like my legs.

00:20:10 – 00:25:01

Are. That’s it. I like that and I think that I would encourage people to you know we’re giving you are our version here? But kinda keep a running tally of of your own sex appeal, right? What what do people like you like? Soak in those compliments. you know for me, meet. People always compliment the way I, look I I know that. You know people like the way I look and I like the way I look. It’s a weird thing to say right like I’m beautiful, but it’s. I think it’s an important thing to say and. you know I? Guess what people comment on is not really what maybe not what I value so people will talk about you know that I have to look have the brains and never forget. That when I was little. My mom says that people would always tell her how smart I was. You know the teachers and they’d say she’s so smart. She smart and my mom would cut people off and say she’s really kind. She’s really a kind person. Because she always wanted the emphasis to be taken away from being cute or being smart and being focused on how I treat people and you know. My Mom taught me so much I know you have a really sweet relationship with your mom as well. I don’t know if it’s like my mom where they can also drive you up the wall at times, but my my mom is just. Just really the best and taught me so much about life like I feel like I was four years old and she was already teaching me that. Yeah, it’s nice to be cute and it’s and it’s good to be. You know their advantages to being smart I suppose, but she really just wanted me to treat people well and. I carry that with me today, so it’s interesting that people tend to comment on the way you look or how smart you are, and I think a woman. People see that as some sort of very special combination although. It certainly isn’t. Yeah I think too when I I. What I learned from my is just the positive affirmation. The reinforce that I got for my mother so. I do that with other people and I think that’s also kind of makes me attractive. A lot of people did not get that as a kid. They did not get the positive reinforcement of like. Oh, you did such a great job or whatever? And I think for people experience that I, remember I had an ex girlfriend who thought I was being sarcastic. You know because yeah, because she had never experienced someone giving her positive reinforcement. And I thought well. That’s that’s all I’ve known you know. So yeah, I’m I’m happy that we both yeah had mothers who are two tot us. Ally in who who who did a good job at parenting. And she still does. My mom still does. Actually yeah. If Brennan were here. He’d say that you know I think. He has trouble taking the positive reinforcement especially because I think I give a lot of it. First of all the man is amazing. It’s pretty easy. It’s pretty. Positive reinforcement but I think that he almost doesn’t want to hear it because he feels motivated by having to live up to something like he feels motivated by not feeling good enough, and that’s something that we often talk about and think about breaking down in rewriting those scripts. That’s something you in the book so. We wrote the book together, but there are sections that you really focused on in sections that I really focused on, and there is an exercise on positive affirmations that is more than just writing down looking in the mirror. I really appreciated that that entire sections encouraged people to skip forward to that if Strikes you yeah all right so next question and you can imagine that each of these questions could lead to a day or week of discussions, so I always encourage people to not feel like you have to get through an exercise in a in a sitting. You might pick one question per week and use the book for several years. and other people might be more concise in their answers, so the next question is What makes you anti seductive? Would you like to change anything about your behavior or approach? ooh, Gosh. I think what makes me anti seductive is. Sometimes I. I say what I feel, and with some people who are a little bit more sensitive, or just are more emotional by nature tend to think I’m being harsh with my words, and so I think that makes me and is seductive sometimes with some people. well I think that’s such an important point to that.

00:25:01 – 00:30:00

You know we talk about seduction being everything you do to arouse interest and pleasure why we we start right from the beginning of the book saying you know Seduction isn’t a game. It’s not manipulation. It’s not a means to an end. It is pleasure in an of itself, and of course sex means very different things to different people, but we also talk a little bit about action, and if your style isn’t fit for some people, that’s also okay to because you’re not necessarily seducing every person under the sun. Right exactly so if people don’t like that direct approach you know, you might tone it down at times, you might smooth the edges at other times or not, and just know that that’s not going to be a fit for you. Right exactly exactly and I think. You. Know like you said not. Everything is for everybody so. and. That’s why we have. So many different educators in so many people in the world that are doing certain things and I think you just have to find the person or persons that resonate with you the most example exactly okay. What makes me anti seductive? Who I could make a list. I. I I lose interest quickly, so if something working, I get frustrated. and so sometimes with seduction with pleasure in with sex. You need to push through a little, because not everything is going to run smoothly imperfectly and be a ten the entire time and so I. Don’t know if there’s a part of me that can be. I guess I’m just easily dissuaded and so You know I have to work on for me. What works is being more mindful like practicing mindful sex and bringing myself back and to really enjoy the moment, so that’s part of what makes me anti seductive I’m moody. I’m sure. I’m sure that can be, and I’m more moody now than usual just like having been. Grounded for nine months is just no just yet to brand new experience for me and my my purpose when it comes to work isn’t the same I’m just not able to deliver. In the same way, so, what would I what? I’d like to change about my behavior. Is I I think I. Just need to be a little bit more presence a little bit more in the moment maybe a little bit less distracted. I’ve been trying to put my phone away earlier. I’ve been trying to You know as I said to you. Yesterday went on a long rollerblade or not that long, but longer didn’t check my phone. You know at the lights and stuff like that at a red light, so I think I can be a little bit more present. Okay let’s try and bang out a few more. Do you have a couple more minutes? Yeah. What do people find curious about you? And how do you entice others to be curious about you? I think? What people find curious about me? is they really want to know about my personal life? As much as I. Am an open book and I have stories for today’s I think a Lotta Times like similar to you. How you sort of bring brand on kind of talk about like my in my personal life like esther like I am not interested. You know like when she’s impersonate. You know like she can talk to people in person, but like as far as like bringing her onto something or Actually, she did want to do some sort of youtube videos that you know that’s like that always kind of fleeting. Here and there You know I I think people want to know like what I do in my personal life. My Day to day life because you know I’m not on social media like all the timer. Have my face all the time. I think people are like. What are you doing? What is happening? And, so. I think that’s what you know that is. That’s the thing about the curiousness I think knowing what else have I done in my life? And what are the like? What are the sexual things that I’ve done in my life to to you know and the stories a guest. Curious thing I think that’s got to be a standard across the board for anyone who teaches about sexuality or they want to know. What do you do behind closed doors? partly because they want to know where we’re drawing our perspective from so did they WanNa? Know Okay. You’re talking about this, but do you do this and I? Get that question all the time. How do I entice? Let. Let me say rather than others, but like because I’m not really trying to entice everybody to be curious about me. But how how do I entice a lover? Well? I can actually speaking in my relationship with Brandon. I like to keep some things kind of separate and I I.

00:30:00 – 00:35:09

Don’t know if the word is secret, but private. I I don’t like him to know everything I. Don’t fill him in on every conversation. have intimate conversations with friends and I. Don’t run home and share it with him. and I think it’s nice to have that separation and you know part of my theory around relationships is that we need some distance in order to ensure that curiosity and desire passion remain in the long term and I know some people will disagree in what I would say is that everybody needs a different amount of distance, a different amount of privacy, and so I think we all need a little bit at least, and some people are enticed by Moore, and yes, so that’s how I sort of live my life now there’s so many questions we’re not even through the first Itty bitty section this literally page one I’M GONNA ask this question because I think it’s important to round it out. How do you handle rejection? How do you respond the last time you faced? Rejection not limited to sacks I, and do want to adjust the way you think or behave moving forward, and and I would love to write a whole book on rejection because I think it is a brilliant and powerful life skill that I’m I’m really working on and struggling with like anyb any human being. So when it comes to rejection for me, I always think about the four agreements. and I address this. The my work is just like with rejection where you know it’s. If I’m being rejected I, have to just take it and for me I. think that’s Hollywood. Confidence comes in right, and it’s just like oh well, somebody else will like this or you know like. being able to like okay well. Maybe it’s not about meet. Maybe it’s a maybe something else, but then sometimes it is about you. You know like That’s okay. But you could just you know. Leave with tax. Move on so. I am. Yeah when I am I, am rejected I i. just kind of like you know is just have to force myself to like move on in. That’s okay in just. Chalk it up to like all right. That’s IT I. There’s plenty of other things that I can do plenty of opportunities I think I’m always kind hopeful and optimistic. In general so I think that helps. I love that I. Think from the outside. We might see you as Omar. Just bounces back and what people don’t realize is that everybody is doing the work to have their own version of bounce back, so in terms of how I handle rejection so. It’s interesting because I often encourage people to look at their emotional responses outside of the bedroom, and learned from those so that they can kind of start to understand how they respond in the bedroom, sexually in so looking in non sexual circumstances, al-anon sexual scenarios interactions can fuel lower pressure I’m so when I think about rejection in work and in life I have the bad habit of of looking to avoid it, and and that’s a really dangerous thing to do. because it holds you back, and my fear of rejection has historically held me back from going after things and more waiting for things to come to me or doing like more inbound marketing type. You know work when it comes to business, and I’ve had to push myself a little and learn to lean into the possibility of rejection I do think it comes from kind of a lifetime of not really experiencing rejection again, not because life was perfect, but because I avoided situations that might have led to rejection, and so this is something that I really only came into my consciousness. I’d say about ten years ago. so I was thirty. And I you know I had to push myself. Start pushing myself to do things to experience rejections so that I wouldn’t experience so much anxiety around it right so in cognitive behavioral therapy we talk about an exposure hierarchy, exposing yourself to something that you experiencing anxiety around to see that exposure in and of itself is not going to lead to. The apocalypse and right think about have getting better and better at. Accepting rejection and also being able to look at it, you know sometimes you just have to feel a feeling, but sometimes you also have to look at it and say okay. Why does this bother you so much would? Is it that you want? And it’s given me a clear of what matters to me, and what? What I really value in life and I don’t know if this is sounding abstract, so maybe I’ll just if I bring it back to sex the truth is I do have a fear of being rejected even by like my long term partner, who is going to reject me with with grace.

00:35:09 – 00:40:02

Grace and kindness, and so it has the past held me back from initiating and kind of like things to get him to initiate, and I know that that’s not always fair, because Brandon if anybody listens to the podcast, no, you know that Brandon love to be wanted like he wants me to show an intense desire for him, and that can’t always be responsive so I had to kind of step up and actually did this last week. I on Sunday I was not in the mood, but I was thinking about how we’ve been spending so much time together, brandon and I because I can’t see anyone else and. I was thinking how good I feel with him like how comfortable how loved and just like how safe and I was also thinking. Wow, those are great feelings, and they’re not that exciting so i. need to do something exciting this morning, so I kind of like pushed myself into this very uncomfortable place and digital this like different basically exploring fantasy that was very very risky or felt very risky and I’m really glad. I did it because. oftentimes I think I have. Let my fear of rejection. Hold me back and. To have everything he wants I. Don’t want to hold him back ever from anything and and I. Know He’s also not the type of person who’s going to push or even ask, so. I did that on Sunday. Look at me giving myself a gold star. There are so many more questions and prompts in this book. We have like a an interview. That’s all about your seduction style, and you’re gonNA talk about how? Our learning styles of fact, our seduction styles, and how we enjoy sex on the twenty fourth on Zoom at seven PM in the book launch. you’re also gonNA talk about how to plant sex seeds. We’re going to talk about. The Core Roddick, feeling rod sizing daily interactions and we’re. GonNa. Play some games. We’re hoping people will like dress up because I think there’s going to be a prize for best dressed right. yes, we got some good sponsors, so yes, I’m excited and you’re more of a visual person, so I think you should probably take the best dressed. I’ll let album pick the person toilet paper in the background or something. But we we end. There’s GonNa. Be a quiz game, so you don’t have to read the book to win the Quiz Game, but you know having read. The book might help, so we do encourage people to check it out to check out the ultimate guide to seduction and four play from your local bookshop. In Canada I I would recommend good for her dot com, so they are a local feminist sex shop and bookshops, so check out for her and in the states. What would you recommend to people? carris definitely cares books in more, which is Atlanta’s longest running, or in the states, believed the longest running feminist bookstore in south in the flowing is firmer longest feminist. Bookstore in the south. Yes, awesome, and yet they carry Ed at Charissa, spelt C. H. A. R. I S. and they ship across the country correct. Yes, and of course it sold everywhere. Else books are sold so wherever you get your books, you’ll. You’ll be able to find the ultimate guide to seduction and four play Marla I. Really appreciate you chatting with me today. Any any final thoughts anything to leave people with before they join us on Wednesday for our Zoom Party. I’m super excited about the party and our launched because this has been a long time coming. Yeah I’m just I’m excited I’m excited to be there and like. Yeah, let’s do this. Yeah, really funded Tommy Morgan. Can you tell us a little bit about her? Tommy is a wonderful wonderful. You know she’s an amazing at sexpert. she has learned under me for a little bit and then She’s just a very large falling millennial following. She used to be on America’s next top model. Associates modeling, and then moved it into the sex industry, and so she has a lot of different classes when it comes to sex the sexuality, so I think she has her own only fans page as well as she’s featured She lives in Chicago, so she’s featured on TV a lot there on her local news channels so I’m super excited. Have She’s amazing? A wonderful spirit so sweet. And she she does A. cowgirl classes. I need that you. So yeah, it’s so in. We have a lot of folks in common. Some people who are just in my class yesterday where at class.

00:40:03 – 00:42:45

We. You know there’s just a lot of overlap overlap in. The at she’s just really wonderful. Amazing woman who? Is Glamorous Vary Momma was a lot about sex. Yeah. Awesome so yes, she’s GonNa be hosting the event and going to be a lot of fun so folks market calendar June twenty four, th seven pm Eastern get dressed up. If you feel like it, of course, you don’t have to turn your camera if you want to just be a Voyeur, that’s okay, too, but we’re going to get dressed up. toast have a toast, of course whether you drink alcohol or non alcoholic very very welcome, so we’ll see you there. Thanks so much more like really appreciate you. Chatting and I’ll see you on Wednesday night to. Yes thank you having me pleasure. Before I. Let you go I. Want you to know all about the fun stuff all the cool prizes. You can win on Wednesday night because we’ve got actually a really incredible lineup. We have a very generous prize pack from vibe and womanizer. We have a five day four night. Couples Convention package from Naughty Nala Nhs. Which is billed as the largest lifestyle convention for couples in the world, it’s a takeover of one of the French quarters. Biggest hotels in it takes over Bourbon Street in New Orleans supposed to be a really wild party and they’re giving us a four night five day pass. We have a really essential prize pack from our good friends at Astra. Glide all the slippery stuff that you need. Or of course we’re going to be giving away multiple copies of our book. Courtesy of the maximum housing group. In Atlanta, some conference registrations to passes for sex down South A A, complimentary coaching, session or workshop from Velvet Lips via Marla and one of my online courses of your choice from happier couples dot com, so we’ve got some cool stuff lined up hoping that you will join us, and we’ve got prizes for best dressed best background, best social media fan and a couple of others because we’ve got the quiz game lined up as well and. And of course, if you are looking for the book in the States, please check out Kerris books more and if you’re looking for the book in Canada Checkout. Good for her, and you can register now for the event. It’s already on event bright. It’ll be linked from my instagram at sex with Dr Jess I. It’s already up there, so go ahead. Take a look register in advance because we have limited spaces. We’re doing it over zoom. And Yeah hope to see you there, so have a great one. See You, Wednesday night, come dressed to win. You’re listening to the sex with Dr, Jasser podcast. Improve your sex life. Improve Your Life.