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Sex with Dr. Jess


April 28, 2020

Zoom Calls: The Good & The Bad

Given our current situation, what are your thoughts and feelings about Zoom calls? Could some calls just have been an email? Jess connects virtually with Carolyn and Jeff this morning from Global TV’s The Morning Show to further discuss. Check out her notes and video segment below.

The Good:

  • It takes less time to coordinate, so we’re actually seeing one another more often.
  • It feels more intimate than a phone call for many of us because of the potential for eye contact, facial expressions, body language, etc.
  • Research reflects that connection & cooperation is higher on video calls than via phone and chat; trust can be just as high in video chats as face to face although it takes longer to achieve this, so this may explain why it works for existing friendships like Carolyn’s, but may not be as effective for new dates, acquaintances and clients.

The Struggle:

  • It’s emotionally exhausting to be on video calls all day.
  • You have to work harder to pick up on non-verbal cues and the incongruity of feeling as though you’re together, but not being physically present can be tiring for some people.
  • Delays create awkwardness & silence is seen as problematic (when it’s normal and helpful in real life); some people talk just to fill the dead air, so the conversation can feel vacuous.
  • Delays can also make people seem less friendly, engaged and trustworthy.
  • The pressure to perform on screen can also be exhausting; you can feel self-conscious and distracted by your own image and the feeling that you’re being watched.
  • The lack of separation between private and public as you invite people into your home can also make you feel vulnerable (and judged).

The “Solution”:

  • Balance written communication, phone calls and video calls. Not everything needs to be a video call — especially for work.
  • Use one platform for social and one for business so it doesn’t feel like you’re meeting your friends and family in your office.
  • Don’t feel pressure to centre yourself on camera.
  • Socialize while you’re doing other things (e.g. cooking or organizing) so that you don’t have to maintain constant high-pressure eye contact.