April 21, 2020
The Good Sex Diet
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Let’s talk about food and sex and dismantle diet culture. Food and sex have so much in common and so many of us (Jess included) consider food an important component of our core love languages. Lisa Davis, author of Clean Eating, Dirty Sex: Sensual Superfoods and Aphrodisiac Practices for Ultimate Sexual Health and Connection, joins Jess and Brandon to discuss the ways in which the foods we eat affect our sex lives. We discuss:
- What foods have been shown to benefit sexual health?
- Why you may not want to “ditch” foods, but rather focus on new additions
- How diet affects metabolism
- How to rice cauliflower
- How diet can affect erectile dys(function)
- The power of flavonoids
- The concept of “cheat days”
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This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.
The Good Sex Diet
00:00:05 – 00:00:20
You’re listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight.
Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I’m your co-host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely partner, Dr Jess.
Hey! Hey! Happy to be here today. We’re gonna be talking about my favourite topic.
No and not sex either.
That’s very true. It is your favourite topic.
It is and we are joined by author of clean eating, dirty sex. Lisa Davis. Lisa, Thanks for being here.
Oh, thank you so much for having me.
Now, your latest book is part memoir; part lifestyle guide; part cookbook. It’s about clean eating and dirty sex. I like… I think I like both of those things. Sometimes, I like to eat dirty as well but tell me what made you write this book in the first place.
Well, I wanted to write about something that I could relate to and I should point out that the book is not about dirty sex. I. It It really is just a play up the word clean. And I was really hoping that would come across. But it’s funny. There’s so many people who are like I don’t. I’m not into that. I’m like well it’s just a pun but the book is so about improving your sexual health so, when I was growing up I ate dirty just mentioned dirty eating a moment ago. I mean I hit girl scout cookies and I would eat as much junk food as possible. My friend’s house because my grandma was a health food nut. She passed it down to my mom and I just really struggled to eat well for a while. Uh… And so I wanted to talk about something that I struggled with and then I also had an unhealthy relationship with sex. Uh… I was awkward girl who can ever get a date and I was skinny and uncoordinated and not only was I pick last in gym but, they fought over who got stuck with me. And I went to school with the same kids from when I was six till I was eighteen. So it’s like you you get you know how you get boxed in and you’re always seen a certain way and so I- internalize that and then at eighteen. I suddenly had like a really nice figure out of nowhere and I started dating and sleeping around and and felt like that made me feel like I was something special and so I- struggled without as well so I just wanted to take two topics to talk about how you can do both in a healthy way
Awesome and so you in this book talk about these standard American Diet. How would you describe you know the average Diet for an American?
Will you know? It’s interesting I I rarely make…. I don’t wanna say as as a snob. I rarely go to the regular grocery store but, no I try to shop at like little health markets when I can. But I’ll go to the regular grocery store – but if you walk anywhere just if you walk around the perimeter you can get pretty good stuff but most of the stuff is all so highly processed. It’s so refined I mean it’s barely recognizable as food. It’s got five hundred ingredients. Most of them you can’t pronounce and that’s such a huge problem. Not only for our sexual health but for our overall health because they’re really connected and that’s what’s so heartbreaking. I think that people go for convenience and I know there’s an issue in cost. I’m not oblivious but there are ways that you can eat clean without breaking the bank. Which another topic. But there are ways to do it but yeah so it’s just basically the highly you know stuff process stuff everywhere well.
I think it’s interesting. You bring up the cost because
for some for some people it really is the cost about prioritizing. And for others. It’s about accessibility.
So if you look at you know considering North America uh… especially some of the American cities if you live in certain neighbourhoods. You don’t eat not only do you not have access to small markets or farmers markets or you know locally sourced items but you don’t even have a grocery store.
So how do we even begin to address this disparity?
Yeah that’s something that is is really important and I don’t think that it does get addressed an F. I mean I feel like there’s been a little bit more of a of a thing events that are happening. That are trying to make that happen. I think our politics I think government needs to get more involved because yeah there’s definitely food deserts but if you do have access to grocery store even within those files that I was talking about you can find a bag of brown rice and a bag of beans. You know some of it takes a little more work. You you don’t have to buy organic vegetables. You can wash them while you can buy things that are still going to be as cost effective as a box of macaroni and cheese.
I I’m really glad you bring up rice because so I’m Chinese. I could eat bowls on bowls of rice and oftentimes in North America rice and other grains get painted as bad foods especially as people become anti carb. And I’ll I’ll just say you know from the outside. I’m you know I. I have some real issues with diet culture. I don’t believe we should live a life of deprivation. I don’t believe our food choices should be motivated by shame. Uh I… I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t eat well and eat clean. But you know, no two people require the same diet. Is this something you ran into in researching your book and I know you consulted with experts from multiple fields from you know dietitians and other folks.
Well, the interesting thing is that it really is better to eat as many fruits and vegetables as possible because things that are in fruits and vegetables like flavonoids and nitric oxide in antioxidants. They all have to do with blood flow and the health of your cells in the health of your tissue your endothelial tissue with which lines your arteries and and when you’re eating more fruits and vegetables is going to help your overall health. It’s also going to help your sexual help um.. I am not super I mean I do eat grains but for me I have a lot of food sensitivity so I’m a little bit different. So I tend to do better with you know a little bit of meat. A lot of vegetables and fruits and a lot of healthy fat. I am like the healthy fat Queen. I eat an Avocado a day. It helps your skin. It helps your hair. It helps you internally the fats are also really important for uh your libido and for good sexual health so in the book for example in the cookbook. I don’t the only grain which is actually a seed in the book is keen Wa um… So yeah the book is not grain heavy so I would tell people if you have a plate. Okay so you wanna picture the plate right so you wanna have. I would say half vegetables and then a quarter meat and then maybe a quarter grain. I think too many people go all meat and half half meat half grain. And like there’s like a speck of vegetable on the plate like garnish. We need to eat more of those vegetables.
So If if people have been listening they may have heard me. Note that I I don’t like vegetables bio zoom. I still consider so this morning. For example I just made a smoothie with frozen spinach peaches. A home unju- coconut water and oranges. And so it’s all good for me and it tastes good like tastes nice. Nice very sweet. Some of the SMOOTHIES. I make actually taste like almost like an orange cream cycle because of all the Pineapple. Smoothie tasted like dirt. Lot Spinach dirty. I drink not today. We ran out of pineapple. And just so you know we were out of pineapple. Normally we have pineapple but there are things you can do. Even if you don’t love something to make sure you know it’s getting into your body but what I really appreciate is that you were talking about your own experience so you said that you know you tend to have food sensitivity sensitivities and. I think that’s an important takeaway for people to get to know your own body because how I respond to food may not be how you respond to food. And that’s it’s both individual but it you know it can be genetic and maybe even related to you know the lifestyle and the Diet of your ancestors. Oh completely I mean. My husband can eat grains till the cows come home and he feels great and I too many grains and I get what’s called a food hangover where I wake up the next morning and I feel like there’s bricks in my head so what I do I go to my Go-to I get a little when I can I get a little grass-fed need an avocado. A huge salad may be a Yam. So yeah I mean if you if you labeled me I would say. I’m more Paleo but I agree with you. I don’t like the Diet mentality for me. It’s more about just not feeling crummy every day but I think if you don’t have food sensitivities and you want to you can vary your diet more than I’m able to you know if you’re a regular person. I is a Weirdo. I’m just joking I’m law but at any rate But bottom line is to get the fruits. And if you’re GonNa do you like berries. A dodger Jess Brandon. Do you guys love berries? Great Fear Sexual Health Berry Berry’s wire berries great for your sex life will. Berries are great because they’re full of flavonoids and flavonoids are devoid divert diverse excuse group of fighter nutrients. They’re basically plant chemicals and they’re found in almost all fruits and vegetables but they tend to be found more in the You know the darker berries the Red Berries and the blueberries in the red by raspberries blackberries and matter of fact I interviewed this wonderful doctor for the book liner viewed over. Forty excellent Help nationals. Lots of experience and nutrition and utter Joel Con. He Calls Strawberry Screw Bury’s and blow berries blueberries that’s probably the dirtiest thing in the book. And it’s not that dirty but he’ll say that to his patience because when it comes to sexual healthy want to have blood flow whether you’re a man or a woman it really is important for both you know to get the juices going down there for women to get the erection for man and so if you’re eating a lot of foods that are high in flavonoids the other one is nitric oxide. And that’s a to Adam gas made by the endothelial tissue in the blood vessels and that basically sends a message the lining of the genitals it releases at nitric oxide causes blood vessels to expand again. We want that expansion so the blood is flowing and things that are high nitric oxide which are great is a beats is a really big one.
00:10:01 – 00:15:03
Spinach is another one so I don’t know some people don’t like beats but if you throw in your smoothie they definitely do sweetness or if you do some they’re really sweet as well. You just WanNa go overboard because then it could be a little too sweet so I have a question abort clean eating and then cheat days because I have a good friend who’s cheat days are epic. He eats clean all week. He you know. He does intermittent fasting right and then he is a cheat day where it’s like seventeen hamburgers. I call them the handler. What is not really seventeen. Eighteen Deva heart attack to cheat day that coincided with the Canadian National Exhibition Seaney. It’s just a big festival urine trouble and added. They have a whole food hall of crazy foods and he went there and had like a blooming onion deep fried onion then he had deep fried twinkies and cater taught and pizza and Burgers on my kidding you. It was just laughing after another so I was more concerned about how. His gastrointestinal system responded the following day. But how do you feel about having a cheese day? I think if you have a day it’s got to be a lot less than that. I mean I’ve seen agreed extreme. You know for example. Even though I’m sensitive to eat dairy Once in a while I just say you know what I just flip and want a couple pieces of pizza so couple of days ago had a piece of Pizza. I woke up the next day. Felt a little crummy and then I bounced back. Pretty quick. Because I’ve been eating the way that I need to in terms of my sensitivities so I’m able to do that now and then now a pizza every day I feel like crap but I think for like again somebody who doesn’t have to sensitivities. Don’t want to go out and eat a whole pizza and a bunch of hamburgers cheeseburgers. I would say basically maybe just have a couple of slices of pizza piece of chocolate cake. But you don’t WanNa go completely nuts. Yeah and I never actually really good. You can’t go nuts with our nets good for your sex life. Oh nuts are great because they have healthy fat and that has to do with your home a hormone production. You really need good fat. And that’s why you know I mean I should have. That should be my logo like lots of good fat. I’m just so big on that and so you’re looking at all the coz coconut dark chocolate nuts all of wild salmon. I dark chocolate every day. Sometimes I overindulge and my husband will be like. Wasn’t there bar chocolate. Like eighty eighty. I try to do between seventy eighty percent. Like wasn’t it here yesterday? I was like oh I don’t know I’m not sure what happened. So you mentioned you mentioned a whole bunch of foods. Is there anything that people can just add to their diet? Something that you know whether it’s a spice or something you throw in a smoothie or something you throw on top of a salad or a piece of meat or whatever it is you enjoy eating because you know. I think for people who listen to this. Podcast are always looking at making change but really incremental change. Because every week I’m saying do this do that do this do that. And of course I don’t do all the things but if you can do ten percent of them where do we begin something simple to add and why it works for your sexual health right so first of all I would eat berries in? Let’s say for breakfast. You might have oatmeal okay. Well why don’t you throw either Joe Berry’s on top of it or if you don’t like him on top of that have a little bit of berries on the side. If a salad for lunch slice up some avocado you have a Turkey Sandwich for lice for lunch a slice up abakada. You have a salad though. Some Black Olives or green olives on it also use some extra Virgin Olive. Oil is really good. You can make your own salad dressing or you can find dressings that use their avocado oil or I were olive oil. I mentioned Avocado Oil. Because that’s my absolute favorite and that has the highest smoke point as well. So if you’re going to do any cooking on high heat if you use avocado oil it’s not gonNA change it into a nasty oil which can happen when you use a lot of the You know safflower sunflower corn. I try to stay away from those and I even though when we were growing up. The whole thing with margarine is so great and all of that Jazz. It really is better to stick with Avocado Oil Almond oil extra virgin olive oil. A virgin coconut oil is also good. I would say anytime. You can add an extra spinach to a salad or a sandwich or even you know a pasta dish. So that way people can still have what they want. They can add these extra foods rather than feeling like Davick everything away. Okay and if you’re having maybe a less less American Diet Lake let’s say you have something more like noodles for breakfast or Kanji for lunch. What what can we add or take away their just? Don’t take away my noodles right please. Don’t take my way if you if you follow me at all on social media see that I am very goofy but fun I guess Goofy and fun is similar. I would say add a little chicken adult Turkey. These foods that are high in a large a large gene. Also really good. Because that converts to nitric oxide in the body see final Arginine Nutso. Add some nuts to your food at some Turkey at some pumpkin seeds If you like lentils are also high in L.
00:15:03 – 00:20:03
Arginine so I think if you WANNA keep eating your noodles. You should definitely add some vegetables to it at a little protein to it and You know maybe add a little bit of olive oil or avocado oil to it and was nice now. Is You can find avocado oil at Costco and other places. It’s not just you know you can get this. You know more expensive dark green but there’s one that’s a little bit more refined but that is better for you than eating a lot of the You know the plant based oils like safflower corn sunflower things like that Jimmy recommendations for things like again. I’m looking for a quick fix that might ramp up the metabolism a little bit. You know if if for metabolism I would have to say I’m going to recommend you to a wonderful guy named a Pan codge bage MD. He’s in my book. He wrote a book called Turbo Metabolism. The guy is an absolute genius. And he is one of those doctors that you go to him any thank. I can’t all doctors be like this. He really looks at the whole person. He’s the looks at food as medicine. He really takes into account how your overall life is going in a holistic manner and I hap- he’s in the book. Actually he talks about finding your why and why is and why. It’s so important because if you just think well. I just want to lose weight will why. What’s IT GONNA mean what’s GonNa Happen? You GotTa think about your longevity about your kids your grandkids about your goals. He’s really fabulous. So metabolism is not my expertise so I would. I would definitely check out. Pan codge Turbo metabolism. I like that you talk about why because you you sort of alluded to yours earlier you WanNa wake up feeling bad right. You WanNa wake up feeling good and I think that’s so important because then it doesn’t become this toxic prescription of you must look a certain way or kind of an elitist health culture. That says we’re going to judge you if you eat that food so I think that that’s an important question for everything from relationships. To sex to business to spirituality. Really what is your Wi and and I believe that you’re y relates always to a feeling to or to feeling something that you’re looking to feel. Oh I completely agree I mean. My mother died when I was in my twenties. She was in her fifties from ovarian cancer. And it’s funny because people say it wasn’t she a health food nut. It’s like yeah. She was but she had a lot of emotional issues that she had never dealt with. She had a lot of past trauma. And that’s something that I bring up in the book and that’s why I brought her up. She’s part of my y but also I think when people they’re looking at their sexual health and they’re not looking at any past trauma or that doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual trauma but anything that that impedes them in terms of how they feel about themselves and so. I’m really glad in the book that I address that because I don’t see that a lot you see things on well where sexy lingerie or you know. Put your hair a different style. It’s nice but I do have things. I do. Have Advice in there from a wonderful sex therapist Vanessa. Marin where we talk about you know talking about old times and changing things up at the things you’ve heard but yet there’s a deeper level to the book that I’m really proud of you. Also talk about specifically erectile dysfunction and you write about a guy named Mark Ramirez who attributes his management of erectile dysfunction through diet. Now of course there are many reasons you can deal with erectile dysfunction and oftentimes it can be psychogenic but aside from that from the physiological side. Can you tell us a little bit about him? And his diet affected sexual functioning. Oh mark fantastic. Yeah so came from a family where everybody had something going on. Health wise diabetes and his mother and brother passed away from complications from diabetes. And then he got diagnosed and it took him ten years to finally say enough is enough. I don’t want to end up that way. I need to take care of myself. So he got on a plant based Diet and just completely changed his life and you got off medications you lost a bunch of weight and he finally was able to have sex as longtime where his rectal dysfunction was preventing him and when he made those changes. It made a change and again his overall health. And that’s a real goal. The book I mean I tell people they can celebrate and still get this book. It’ll be helpful. Because of the healthy lifestyle advice and for mark now he travels around any talks to men about what he did and how. It changed his life for the better. Well it’s interesting because oftentimes as sex experts or sexologist or sex therapist when people come to us with a sex issue. They tend to see it in a vacuum while. I have all these other things going on in life but what I really want to work on is the fact that I can’t get or keep an erection but they don’t always WanNa talk about those lifestyle factors. The relational factor is the actors around mindfulness and self confidence and knowing your body and so I think that holistic approach is essential. And I also think that it’s not simplistic it’s not. Oh if you eat berries in the morning you will get a boner by lunch yes so I’m glad you brought that up doctor just because I talk about that in the book this is like any lifestyle approach you have to.
00:20:04 – 00:25:01
It’s a lifestyle. It’s not a diet. It’s not going to happen overnight but it will change. If again you have to commit to the whole thing. You have to look at the emotional stuff as well as physical staff needs a whole chapter in the book on exercisers chapter in the book about skin care. You know. There’s the memoir stories. I really enjoy there. Some of them are sad. But there’s a lot of humor mixed in and It it was just such a pleasure. ’cause I hadn’t seen anything like this before that had those components and then the cookbook. I’d have to say aromatic McDonald are Deanne. She’s amazing she is the Dietitian for an registered nutritionist. For Clean Eating magazine and she does her as she also does a clean eating academy and I went to her and I said here’s the ingredients that I need and recipes and she created every recipe exactly for those sex enhancing ingredients and their fabulous. So it’s really nice. Can you pick one favorite recipe from the book? Yeah this is gonNA stop by but it’s just the spice chicken thighs. I mean she has away and it’s hard to pick because they’re really all very good but she has this way of taking spices and getting just the right combination and the recipe is so easy to. There’s like six different spices. You Mix together and then you get some avocado oil and you make chicken and you make it in. The PAN is pretty quick and it just has such an amazing flavor. I also She has a wonderful cauliflower mash cauliflowers. Like the big thing now and it’s a really great thing because you can race it you can mash it. You can You don’t like vegetables. Dr Jeff I was thinking. I don’t know if they do like cauliflower. I do not mind qualify. Sometimes I just stick it on the barbecue whole with Zilina Amazon and Roast. It the abode. No no that’s okay just eats vegetables like a seven year old where they’ll be on her plate and she has to have a glass of water to drink while she eats the Broccoli right or the or the cauliflower. Come on you you do for Real I do. I don’t deny it I hold my breath and swallowed it because they know that I I wanNA grow up to be strong. Even if you roast. It roasted Brussels sprouts are insane like you really have to caramelized. You GotTa Cook them for a long time. I do that with everything I do. Like some some things Let rose to Brussels sprouts and throw in some Pecans and Vinegar Bacon. I always put them with Aken. Yes that’s fine with a side of Bacon with sprinkle of Brussels sprouts. Can you please tell me what that means to Rice cauliflower? Yeah you know it’s Nice is you can either get it like that at the store already. You can get it frozen you can get a fresh but just basically means is that you can put it in a food processor and put it on the mode that it’s not gonNA completely shred it but it just Kinda grinds it up a bit or some people just chop it. You just chop it really thin and little tiny pieces and honestly looks like right now. It’s not going to taste like rice but you can make some pretty good dishes with it. Okay that I would look into. I like the idea of kind of small changes at a time. Yes if somebody is in a Rut. Where really just eating junk so I can. I can speak about myself. It can be really difficult with the travel. Ju You get home and I’m home for twenty four hours in a change my suitcase. I’m definitely not going to the grocery store and they’re actually was food in my fridge last night but I was. I was tired and I didn’t WanNa talk to anyone so I just I just ordered in and I actually ended up not feeling great because I had intended to order Sushi but mostly I just ordered tempera. Actually the truth is I ordered Teriyaki Tofu but for some reason it was fry fried instead of Krill. Swayed at all. Anyhow what what can we do? If we’re eating a ton of junk food like we’re we’re on the road. Were doing take out and we don’t have a lot of time say between meetings. What is one easy fix? I would say to people who don’t have that. Sensitivities is to carry around some nuts almonds walnuts pistachios. And then when you do eat out I feel like more and more. There are some better options and I’m not talking about going to a salad bar and then putting the most heavy dressing on I’m talking about ordering just get some peace rotisserie chicken or you know and some vegetable vegetables but get some good sauces you to look at McDonald’s other cookbooks. She makes she makes six different types of sauces. That are super quick and easy. You can smother your vegetables in them. Because they’re healthy. Doctors should get you a copy of that. You’d like that but at any rate I would just make small changes like that. Just be a little more careful about what you’re ordering because it is. Actually I think a bag of nuts is a great idea. Brennan always has a second. That’s with him of a second. My mom wanted them. My mom brings over unroasted nuts for us or dry roasted nuts. Because I don’t like it I have a sensitivity. I think to the oils and in North America though so if you go to Chinatown you can usually.
00:25:01 – 00:30:02
You could always find dry roasted nuts. Maybe it’s changed in regular grocery stores now but I I do find that if I have a bag of nuts in my bag. Because they’re quite filling snack on them and then I don’t get to the point of desperation where I’m so busy that I’ll just grab a double cheeseburger and fries because I’m so hungry right. I find that if I let myself get too hungry. That’s when I eat to the point that I don’t feel well yes and I think that’s what happens with a lot of people you want to say. Share yourself and then again going back to the healthy fats are GONNA have them. In the nuts avocados things like that if you’re sea shaded. You’re less likely to get that horrible low blood sugar and then just reach for anything in sight exactly and so sometimes when I see people who are on diets or focused on deprivation. That’s where my mind goes. I think man if I were to deprive myself like that I just want to eat all the Popeye’s and all the key Lime Pie because I’m depriving myself whereas I don’t stop myself from eating anything if I want it I eat it. I might be mindful of how much of it I eat but if someone makes something delicious because I don’t have any food sensitivities. I’m going to try it. I’m not GonNa be like oh no. I don’t do chocolate cake or Rhino. I don’t do Apple Pie. So this is this is really helpful. Now lastly before we let you go you also talk about exercise and exercises that are specifically designed for enhancing sexual health. So I’d love to hear a little bit about that. Will you know it’s funny because my husband and I always had a mismatch Libido I’ve always had a while mine’s insane so mismatched with most people but he started doing yoga like maybe eight years ago and holy cow. It really has boosted his sex drive and I read some studies that actually back this up that said that. Yoga is good for your sex drive and then the other thing too is if you do partner Yoga then you have that time together. Another thing that’s great to do together is dancing. Dancing is a wonderful thing but honestly anything that gets your heart rate up is really good aerobic exercise but you do want to have an extra emphasis on things that build muscle and yoga does build long. Lean muscle also. Weightlifting is really good. Because it’s GonNa give you that extra testosterone booster which is important for sexual health. I would think yoga because it’s not just a physical exercise but a a mindful one and for some people For many people a spiritual one helps you to just be more in your body and Arlene experience. The physical sensations as well as the emotional response. I think it’s not just about yes. It builds muscle and yes. It can certainly help with circulation to the pelvic region. But I think that. Mindfulness is what can really change people’s lives around both sex and eating. Yeah and let me tell you I mean he looks amazing to it. And we’re both in our early fifties and you’d be like what well wonderful people can find your book online. This is clean eating dirty sex. They can pick it up everywhere that I guess. Books are sold as well as on your website. People can check you out online and your radio. Show naturally savvy radio. You’re on the naturally. Savvy naturally savvy show and talk healthy. Today your podcast. Did I get it all? Yes and have a new. A new website should be any day. It’s Lisa Davis M. P. H. DOT COM. In the meantime you can go to. It’s your health with Lisa Davis Dot Com and you can also get the book anywhere. This has been so much fun doctor. Just you guys are great. Thank you so much for sharing your insights. I think we’re going to be sold out of blow buries unscrew berries. Hopefully thank you take care. I love talking about food. I think if I do it all again while I guess I can. It’s not like it’s all over but I think I might want to work in food or maybe I’d lose my passion than I don’t know I also think that you tend to focus on food when we’re traveling and we’re going places. It’s very food focused. Yes I plan everything like if we’re going to a new city. I’ve got our breakfast or snack. Our lunch are after lunch meal. Our dinner kind of planned and then. I kind of fit in. All the sites around around those food stops and mine is simply based on coffee. You just follow me pretty much. You know it’s interesting because I was asked the other day to talk about whether eating a heavy meal around the holidays. How it affects your sex life and you know. I thought okay. Let’s say it’s the holidays or a birthday party or whatever it may be if you feel bloated or you feel gase or you feel uncomfortable after a heavy meal and you’re not in the mood for sex that’s also okay. You know I think there are lots of other sources of pleasure and connection in our lives that not everything has to be plan just around sex. Like whether you’re snuggling or you’re reading to one another or you’re touching each other giving massages or just going to sleep. Going to sleep can feel good too. I always think it’s not going to be your last chance to have sex so yourself. Do you notice that. We tend to have sex before we eat. Oh my gosh. As soon as I order food on Ubereats aurons kept the dishes Brennan.
00:30:02 – 00:35:00
He waits ’til assorted. And then he kind of sneaks up and he’s like all right. Let’s do it so exit We twenty two minutes before the Uber driver with our food. Exactly And it’s it’s interesting because obviously what you eat can affect how you feel and so you just choose foods that work for your body and I think so much of the wellness industry or the so called wellness industry and Diet. Culture can be toxic because the messages are so focused on weight loss and deprivation. And there’s so much judgment attached to it and so I always think you know. Listen I am not an expert in this already. I brought an expert in all right. She shared her expertise. Hopefully you’ll follow it but my perspective is you know instead of depriving myself. I eat for pleasure I try and eat more mindfully. I trust that I know my body best and pay attention to how I feel and my own instincts and yeah. There’s always going to be studies saying like. Here’s this food. You should eat and this food. You shouldn’t eat but the bottom line is every person’s body is different so for me. It’s just really about paying attention to my body. I’ve noticed that I’ve noticed that you always have eaten in moderation. You’ll never deprive yourself of dessert or sweets or like a McDonald’s cheeseburgers need or bread or do bills or anything else. I can get my little pretty much but my point is is that you don’t ever go completely without it. I do cut things out of my life because I can’t consume things in moderation if we buy a leader of ice cream. I think that I’m going to eat a leader of ice cream. That’s true but it is an attitude and I think I’m always looking for a quick fix to any of my problems or challenges and what I’ve come to realize is that. Just chipping away at them. A little bit every day and trying to stick with my plan usually works in some works out. Positively for me whether that’s work or what I’m eating. I also hate to waste a meal. That’s something that drives me nuts. Like if I’m GONNA eat I wanted to be good for really seriously getting upset when we have a bad meal. One were traveling somewhere. I can tell I can see the anger and your eyes after dinner. So I’ve thrown a few table superintendent. No big deal you flip a table. What is this garbage? Can’t you call this food? Yeah and it’s interesting because food isn’t just personal it’s it’s familial and it’s cultural because I feel really frustrated when you just kind of grab something and don’t think about me because I think we grew up eating dinner together on breakfasts. Sorry on the weekends. We also ate breakfast together. It was important to our relationships and my mom put a lot of labor and a lot of time into her food and she still does and I do when I cook and my Stepdad. Also is an incredible cook like their houses. Just it’s IT’S A it’s Michelin Star worthy it so good but so simple and I make a mean bowl of cereal night. But you’re right. There is very much difference in values and importance around food. And it’s not that we didn’t grow up eating dinner together at times or meals. But we certainly didn’t like you did you do and I. I noticed that amongst your entire family that it is a very very focused and not in a bad way in a celebratory way in a way that they all get together really enjoy the food and I by default. Enjoy the food too. But I noticed that when you’re not around when you’re traveling I am the king of Lazy. I will just go and eat I will. I will grab bags of salad and I do throw avocado on them. And that’s what for dinner because it’s really fast really easy and I know it’s not really bad for me but I also know that it’s just delays on my part and well. Maybe you don’t mind as much I’m the opposite. Where even if I have an hour in a city? I’m going to find a place where I can get an amazing sandwich or an amazing Taco or an amazing bowl of noodles. And I’LL I won’t make the time and run out of my way I. I was in between speeches the other night and I took a car to this secret kind of food trailer. In behind a bar inbetween my two speeches reserves. It was in Austin and I was in behind this kind of hipster bar and I had one of the best best pieces of PORK BELLY. I’ve ever had and we do we you and I do try and eat less meat like Monday to Thursday. We try and not eat meat. We make an effort and sometimes we go Monday to Friday and sometimes it doesn’t work out but this was so good it was so delicious so it’s I think what this brings us to is not only to know yourself but also every topic requires some communication because I’ve been pissed off at Brandon in the past when he’ll get up on Saturday morning and just eat a couple date bars and not even think about me because if I were to get up and think about food I’d always you know.
00:35:00 – 00:37:11
Put something together for all of us and and take time to cook it and to set the table and to serve it and so it’s not just sexual values or financial values or cultural or religious values. You need to discuss even food values which are part of our culture require conversation or it can lead to friction and conflict closer please. Have you refrain what I eat because they are Rx bars which sound a lot cooler than date bars? Nothing wrong with dates dates. They’re good and they come insulted chocolate flavor and I will put them on a on a on a on a plate for you with a knife and fork and we can enjoy with amazing espresso. That’s morning ever you do make espresso now. I was also looking at the some research that suggests that sex and other physically intimate activities pleasure can actually reduce the urge to binge eat especially your desire to binge on sugary carbohydrates and. I think they hypothesis is that this could be related to an increase in oxytocin so it kind of flows both ways. No it’s actually hard to feel sexy when you’ve just consumed three liters of ice cream. No one talking about the opposite that when you have sex it actually can herb your desire to bench. So that’s something to be mindful of as well and of course you do you. Please don’t subscribe to toxic messages. It’s worth loving your body liking your buddy treating it well of course and you know doing what it takes to wake up feeling good and go to bed feeling. Good most days some days. I don’t wake up feeling good. I think you really hit the nail on the head. It’s whatever works for you and if you give thought to how you want to do it than everyone. Good absolutely okay. We’re GonNa let you go now. Thank you so much for tuning in thank you to desire resorts follow them at desire experience. Wherever you’re at I hope you have delicious day and we’ll be back next Friday and every Friday with a brand new episode and you’re listening to the sex with Dr Jazz podcast improve your sex life improve your life.