September 23, 2019
Sexuality Superheroes: Carlyle Jansen
Say hello to this week’s Sexuality Superhero, Carlyle Jansen. I’ve known Carlyle for some time now, and she is definitely one of my “go-to” experts. She’s super knowledgeable, has great insights, and does amazing work in the field. Check out her feature below!
How did you find yourself working in sexuality?
I gave my sister some sex toys at her bridal shower in 1995. All of her friends had brought gifts such as wineglasses, so there were many questions about what she unwrapped from me: “What is that thing?” “Where do you put it?” As I explained it to them, they asked further questions. They then told me that I was so comfortable talking about sex that I should teach workshops. So I did my first workshop with my sister and her friends. I kept learning and opened Good For Her as a store and workshop centre in 1997 to offer products and education on a broader scale. In addition to the store and workshops, I now work also with individuals and couples to help them enhance their sexual lives.
What is the best part of the job?
I love working with customers and clients. I love the energy in the room when people have “aha” moments in workshops, I enjoy helping customers discover what they want to bring more pleasure into their lives, and I am inspired by my clients’ desire to create the sex lives that they crave.
What is the most challenging part of the job?
It is heartbreaking to hear ways that people have been shamed about their sexuality, whether it be a negative comment about their body, desires or performance, or non-consensual traumatic experiences.
What is your most important piece of advice that has the potential to revolutionize relationships?
Your feelings, desires and body are normal. Embrace them in yourself and your partner to discover deeper connection and pleasure.
What do you do to decompress and take care of yourself given that you spend so much time helping and caring for others?
I love riding my bike, playing games and badminton with my kids, and of course enjoying pleasure solo and with my partner.
What do you want people to know about your work as a sexuality coach?
I blend the practical with the personal to help clients find a path that suits them the best. And as of January 2020 I will also be registered as a psychotherapist to add those skills to my practice.
Where can we learn more about your work?