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August 16, 2019

Sex & Intimacy After a Baby – Insights From A New Dad

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Our old friend Mikey Singer joins us to talk about how to prioritize intimacy and sex after you’ve had a baby. Parenthood changes the household dynamic, but it can be for the better.

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Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Sex & Intimacy After a Baby  Insights From A New Dad

00:00:00 – 00:05:17

Welcome to the sex with dr podcast. I’m your co host. Brendan wear here with my lovely partner dr jess. Hey hey we have a special guest with us today. His name is mikey senior. He is a brand new daddy so it’s kind of weird when you say like that not in kinky sense in a literal sense he had a baby. He’s a brand new dad. He’s a good friend of brandon’s. Let’s not give mikey too much. I’m going to start giving him a hard time. Let’s not give mikey too much credit here. His partner had a baby well. He was part of it. He deposited his sperm. I did a lot of it are you. You saying you were on top o- ente- behind wherever she needed me to be and then i was support you know i- supreme support role hang on are we talking about during the making of the baby or the delivery of the baby all senses of even even now caring for the navy like a husband’s role is support staff staff. That’s that’s what we do. We support staff in the sex. We supports that pregnancy and we support staff in like actual raising the child. I okay hey i don’t like the support staff and the raising the child but we’ll get to that but i really like the support staff during the sex really you look at me as a support staff during coitus toyotas i can i can lean on you. I can bend on you. I can angle my hips on you. I like it. It’s interesting when we talk about this because during the sex it’s very much. Let me get what works for me. That’s what i’m saying. We’re the support staff. You’re like. Oh just just a little bit. Just move a bit too. Oh that’s perfect going. A little higher up got no perfect. Are you still here. That’s like oh. You’re so here and then two point now that i’ve got mine. Go down rub my feet. Yes i am a supreme particularly but that’s part of the support staff like when in your wife is pregnant and those are very swollen. Your job is to massage the however <hes>. Maybe i’ll get pregnant just for the foot rubs now. Mike and i go way back doc. I said he’s brandon’s friend but he started as my friend and brennan does this. He walks in. He’s charming funny more likable than myself and then they become they become friends but that’s okay. My world’s are colliding. Mikey used to be the co owner of the everything to do with sex show which was a trade show <hes> on the eastern side of canada a huge show with twenty five thousand thirty five thousand attendees over the course of a weekend. We learned a lot together. I’m pretty sure i’ve spanked him. We’ve done things in the dungeon together other. We’ve done things on stage together. You bullied me in my hotel room. I don’t even know what you’re talking about. <hes> just would never let me go to asleep because you know you’ve worked for in three days. You’d work seventy two hours and just be like oh you got to go to bed. No i’m sorry i’m going to order room service and he would run your bed. He would hide the minibar key from me. We didn’t share a room but mikey’s room was the party room. After this twelve hours a day trade show so we go way back in that respect and i wanted to talk to mikey not because he was involved with the everything was sexual although i do think that gives him a unique perspective on sex and relationships but also because i continue to hear from new moms with concerns about their sex life so we received this message says hey just my husband and i just had a new baby and i would love to hear a podcast or get some advice on keeping the intimacy alive during the six week recovery time and also about what to expect when i’m cleared to have sex again and i wanted to talk to make he not only because you come from the everything to do with sexual background but because you’re a new data and i get so many messages from mothers worried about sex after after they have babies and even as their kids get older so i received this message from a listener who says hey jazz. My husband and i just had a new baby. I’d love to hear a podcast or get some advice on keeping keeping the intimacy alive during the six week recovery time and also. I want to know what to expect when i’m cleared to have sex again so this person has been told they can’t have sex for six weeks and i know that that obviously varies for for new moms a between breastfeeding the saggy tummy and being stretched out. I don’t feel sexy right now. But i still wanna satisfy my husband’s need for sexual connection and this message resonates with me because i received so many messages like this and the focus is so often on the husband. I was chatting with my girlfriend. Mala last night and melania both don’t have kids but we have many friends with kids and she was saying that she was with all her mommy friends and they were saying that sex is becoming such an issue because they have no libido and they’re too exhausted and their husbands are getting frustrated and they don’t know what to do to kind of either stave off their husbands or satisfy their husbands and the focus focus seems to be so heavily on the husband so i don’t know mike if this is your experiences at all about you know.

00:05:17 – 00:10:03

It’s definitely not as we said said i am the supportive role so it is a hundred percent not about me and <hes> you you’ve listed two scenarios there one where you’ve just had a kid and there’s a physical healing that needs to happen in also your baby sleeps in your like a lot of asleep with a baby beside you in the bassinet for the first four months. I remember the first time we did. It looked over. She was like two two and a half months and like your baby like people can’t see my face but it’s like making the face like what is going on over there so that’s sort of rattles you a little bit but one of the ways that you get back into it is just just by helping each other. <hes> you feel a lot of love and intimacy when you’re a team when you’re raising your kid in that comes to the second scenario scenario where you’re like how how can the these women are losing their libido because they’re so exhausted there so rundown well husband stepped the shit up like if your wife is exhausted from being a mambas <hes> raising the kids like organizing the household and you’re like oh. I just got my job and i just got i come home. I am exhausted. No you gotta you wanna make your wife like into you. Take the kids out for a day like. Don’t ask her what you need. Beat or like how you’re supposed to do anything just make a plan. Take them out to give her a day of rest like you don’t have to plan anything like a sponge skipper a day of rest and then make an intimate dinner for yourselves and then your wife will want to have sex with you because you’ll be very appreciative and you’re actually starting the relationship up and stopped worrying about just the sex and start worrying about the total relationship i like. I like a lot of what you said there first of all don’t ask what can i do because earlier you had said oh. We’re support staff and i know you’re joking but if one person is in charge that is a huge amount of emotional labor right if somebody says oh. How can i help that is not as helpful as being a team player as being being a partner in the whole process. I really appreciate that and then secondly to focus on the relationship i because i think a lot of new parents stop investing in the relationship. They i stop investing in themselves at all because it’s all about this little human being that you wanna support and any you’re right because all of a sudden you went from being being to individuals to now being individuals taking care of this life that requires so much so like you you talked about breastfeeding like that is a whole or deal onto itself that you don’t realize i don’t let the is that the baby on the baby eats the milk. Everything’s good. I didn’t know about milk production or lodging or like pancakes or any of the other stuff that come along with it. Hang on what’s pancakey. That’s when you have to squeeze the nipple so it comes and the baby can latch on easier and if your baby’s not latching and not eating it becomes is like a very big process because the baby’s crying all the time in screaming and your stress it’s a whole ordeal so again being supportive and being a supportive husband in and that and that could be just washing the bottles from the breast pump and helping out in any way you possibly can will help in the long run because that stops the relationship asian ship from splitting into this is my role. This is your role and being negative authority not holding grudges right and building resentment and that’s the word. I was looking at a mo-. Is there for you. I’m always there for you. I really wish that we could a suggestion. We’d be disturbed videotaping videotaping these podcasts because the visual that i just got from mikey as he showed me what it means to pancake was spectacular. Yeah i really. I like thank. You don’t know that i’m doing all the actions as we’re doing it. I’m like making a baby on my breasts. That doesn’t exist so you probably should take videos or pictures. Did you go and take the initiative to learn about your partner was going through so that you could be more understanding and empathetic like as has a guy who doesn’t have children if i was going to have a child. I think i would probably like i don’t know what to do like you said i don’t know oh how to support. But what did you do to to to provide that support support learn to to learn about it constantly talk to you’re about what she needs and what she’s what she’s feeling. You know if it’s a warm towel like if she needs to do that like massage breast to help produce milk and she needs you get her that warm towel like you know she needs it.

00:10:03 – 00:15:21

You don’t she doesn’t have to ask you to warm up the town. You just continually bring the warm towel like be there. Be present be aware just like you were in the work environment and then be there to help out being assertive and what about google because oftentimes. There’s this. Oh what can i do for you. Or how do oh. I better understand you. Do you not think that it’s it’s helpful to go and read about these processes so that it’s not on your partner to educate you. It isn’t it isn’t so so here’s the problem if you go ahead and read something and you’re reading something different because there’s a ton of information out there and read something different. Bring your partner and it comes to like baby. Be very and you’re like well. I read on google that you have to do it. This way and you should be doing this you punch in the face swift kick to the nazis yeah but i mean in terms of for example like what your body’s going through and what people experience. I think that it’s one thing to experience something. That’s either exhausting traumatic or draining and it’s another thing to have to try and educate somebody else on what you’re going through. I do find that like in terms of when i talk about emotional labor i’ll say to brandon and you know what i can’t always be the one to show you this. Go find the good resources for yourself and i will. I’m guilty of doing that where we’ll be in an argument. I’ll say what can i do for you. You what i should be doing is. I should just be thinking on my own okay. I know what you need based on communication and discussions we’ve had in the past. Just do it like don’t ask make an effort before <hes> before you tell me what you need because it’s not on you to tell me okay. What about this this focus on. I’m not in the mood for sex but my partner is and how do i satisfy his need. Can we get away from that. Can we tell new moms in particular in new parents to be more selfish and focus on yourself can you maybe just worry about what you need. At this time first of all a six week recovery time is not a big deal like six weeks. There are lots of other ways to physically connect with your partner to intimately connect with your partner and the problem is so many of us have reduced star intimacy to sex to the point that we in fact use those words interchangeably when they’re not because if you can kiss you can hug you can snuggle you can touch you can complement you can play you can also if you really wanna. Get your rocks off. Go do it yourself like was masturbation a big part of the two and a half month process for you before you had sex again. Masturbation is always a big risk doesn’t change relate this morning. I know yeah but that is like i got all nervous before so you to educate these whip awesome knuckle children before aw there’s something in your children. I have no hair my head a big life blood no but when it comes to that yeah like you said it <hes> intimacy is different than sex being intimate with your partner helping your partner bathe you know helping them take care of each other cuddling lane together sleeping together like that’s really really important. Don’t own separate because your wife has to take you gotta go to work listen. They gotta take care of the kid. All day doesn’t matter that they’re not sleeping. You’re not sleeping. You both have a job to do. You know liked acted. There’s no. I’ve gotta work so you have to wake up. You’re in it together. That makes a big difference again like i am really pushing this togetherness and working as a team and if the husband really needs to like your blocked up you have a phone it’s the internet age porn is very prevalent and and very free hang on. How do you get free porn. Oh we’ll go on. I’m not plugin and tonight. It’s way better than when i was a kid when i would have to like leave. Leave thirty different foreign movies downloading school. Come home and be like oh my god i got the newest girls gone on the internet night when you were in school. How old are you. You’re like fifty forty so i’m the only one in my thirties here really i’m just thinking thinking about you actually downloaded porn when your kid because i had to go and like find movies you know somebody’s i remember a friend’s. Dad dislike insane stash that we found it. It was like it was incredible well to be clear. I didn’t have to look look. My dad had his porn magazines out next to the toilet in the walk. In most people’s families had like life and stuff got like playboy hustler wake right there hang on that actually explains a lot now you know why does my career and i want to just i remind people that of course we’re talking very hetero context here so for example you know the woman staying home is not always the case i have another friend and here in canada and we have parental leave and he opted to talking recovery absolutely yes i did birth the child which is a quite a traumatic process.

00:15:21 – 00:20:09

I watched it all which was also traumatic saw the hair. I i only through up three times and the times he’s like if you the real that i’m your hang on so i picture laura. Laura is is mikey’s wife rubbing. Your shoulders is a trooper came. I was not a pattern your practice breathing. Come on. You’ve got this this superstar like it’s amazing that this thing popped out of her and then she’s got to take care of it. Walk so at one point we stayed in the hospital for two days and at one point i slept in her bed and the nurse pot means that they weren’t going to kill laura was cleaning cleaning up around the issue is holding joey. Try to rocker back to sleep. You’re in like you get a kit. You take driving lessons but when you have a kid. There’s no like lessons like how old is showing. She’s ten months now and i still haven’t come to meet her. No you’re the worst yet. Actually mikey has invited me to was house but it’s uptown man. I feel like you’ve met both my dogs but like refused to meet my child. Did you hit a new dog. I can come over absolutely jason. Brennan got me the best present ever when i had a dog. They got pablo to like so i could see the dog whatever way so the pool would have a baby there like eff that there were no gifts for the baby and i wanted to explain what the pablo is. It’s this little egg shaped device. That is a camera so you can watch your dog while you’re out but wait. Wait wait. That’s not all folks. If you press a certain button it makes a little tweet sound a to alert your dog and then you can dispense a treat and watch your doggy on your phone using the app. Take treat. There’s nothing that cool for kids took pictures and videos. It’s awesome. It’s really funny. Do you ever consider using the pabo for joey. I have obviously i’d like their certain traits. That would work really well. <hes> with this like a little dried mango tree the bubbas came. She actually like bumpers are her favorite. What’s that it’s like some israeli peanut peanut butter type candy okay. That’s why no one is antifa lactic in israel. I am totally is that’s. That’s not that’s just my pontificating just to be clear so blood people google that they’re like a live. There are no bees this okay so have you ever thought about putting a treat in the dispenser of the pabo conceiving the room leaving your dog and your baby joey releasing treat seeing who got the treat or versed videotaping at putting it on a flying making millions of dollars of this youtube video and so therefore law like joey and lady. Don’t see eye on stuff. This is the dog in the baby. This is that lady is the is the dog i almost said the baby and joey’s the baby and they’re not they’re not friends because they both wanted to treats from the pabo pabo yeah they both want all the trello now they’re starting to see i die with food okay but and to get back to the sags like once your wife is ready for it and sure her body will let her know just be there to do it slowly but surely and there are so many different ways to have sex you don’t have to have penetrative the sex so even within this six week recovery time that this person’s talking about you can get off using toys using your hands using your partner’s face ride that face there are all these different things that not everybody can do different. People have different obviously recovery stuff. Maybe you’ve had a you have stitches or maybe you’re. You’re sore in the air. You’re feeling inflamed inflamed first of all. There’s no pressure to have sex man. I am the sexologist telling people don’t worry about how often you’re having it. Do things that feel good for you. How can we get get new parents and i think new mothers in particular because these are the people sending in the questions to take the pressure off themselves and be more selfish but first of all sleep train your kid to beg your night sleep. Train your kid take back your night and then you’ll start having sex again because if you’re going into like accuser beverly like five six times a night like how can you ever have sex right absolutely have intimacy or like any kind of time alone. That’s the other thing we have. A totally different aren’t life from six thirty on that herod tom from six thirty to nine thirty okay because nine nine thirty tax babies go to bed late.

00:20:10 – 00:25:08

What do you mean what do you think they hang on. They go to bed at nine thirty or so. We go to bed at nine thirty. You go to bed at nine thirty. So that’s what happens when your new the day starts at six and you still get here for nine a._m. Time so embarrassed. I was a full hour later. This is scheduled program uh-huh all your listeners to you you know what when he told me he was running late and forgot to come and he was on his way. I said no problem at all but i am going to blast you. Put you on blast on the podcast. Oh i did it myself. I and the problem is i totally early for it wasn’t just that i was running late because that would be excusable. I completely forgot to. I looked down and saw a text from just saying mikey and i’m like oh. My god calera laughed at me the entire way this so i’ve only met my wife laura once and i still like her better than him. It was the same way like we met brendan. We’re like oh my god. Brandon is away person. You hadn’t even met brandon brandon. Just a boxing match exchanging kim blows to go back to that six week recovery period did like were there any challenges that you had like. Did you find it difficult lake. Some of these people let are asking questions about satisfying. Their partner like was there any. Did you feel deprived or yelling. We were effing. We urine go time. That’s what’s the wartime six weeks. I didn’t even think about sex you’re exhausted. You’re like waking up every three hours with this kid trying to figure out what’s what’s going on my last worry and this is what it should be for. Most men was about sex like you’re figuring out you’re being supportive. You’re working together and and there is no more intimacy when you’re in a team together caring for another human life. That’s in the same bedroom as you. The the thing that always always surprises me is just travel so much for work and there have been instances where you’ve been gone for two three weeks at a time and i know people will ask me how do you how do you do it. How do you take care of yourself while lie right and some organic astro gliding job but but i’m i’m thinking in this this context because we don’t have children and you’re gone for weeks. I just take care of business and it’s not that big of a deal so i would assume that this pressure that some of these these people are some of these women are <hes> feeling is not fabricated but maybe it’s a bigger deal or maybe the partners in their lives. <music> are making them feel the way personal too yeah. It’s not necessarily the partner they’re just over thinking it ten like but some partners are putting pressure on we’ve. We’ve had guys even say to us like oh you will. You’re gone for a whole week. You can’t go without sex with partner for a week. Some people just feel so how much pressure to be having the sex all the time those and they’re not like we know that those guys who completed the whole week without checks. You live life like what do you mean. It happens all the time yeah and also like come on guys like you get a week off of doing nothing like the guy gets up like oh. It’s amazing. I’m sixteen again again. It’s just me and my redhead left depending on you know. I was asking brand in. What is the difference between masturbating and sex with a partner for you. Are you asking me right now. Oh man i mean masturbating for me is story. It’s maintenance like it is. It’s <hes> candle or you know. It’s like rose petals about half some incense. Do you find like there’s different. There’s different like sometimes it’s stress relief. Sometimes it’s <hes> like hyping yourself up. Sometimes it’s totally sexual where it’s like. I’m gonna get a real long session in here. I’m going to pull up fifteen different videos. I’m going to go through a whole different series of scenes. I’m gonna really enjoy myself. I’m i’m not saying i’m that guy every time but sometimes your romantic turn on the music. Let’s go get a little background. Going those are times when you have the whole house to yourself. See we don’t brennan’s never had the. We don’t have that here because my dad lives here. Justice justice dad lives in the senate and that’s okay but i’m i’m if you were to go back to that question for me. Masturbation is oftentimes just a release. Lucas and i go through periods of time like i’ll go. I’ll have weeks where i’m not particularly focused on having sex or even masturbating masturbating. I’m not saying don’t enjoy it but i have so much so many other things going on that i just it’s not a focal point.

00:25:08 – 00:30:00

I need to make it a focal point and i need to go back to your point about investing the time and the effort into creating an environment where i want to have sex that’s on me but if not aww had periods where i’ve been very stressed and spent a week or two weeks and i’m just not really interested <hes> but i think it’s it’s ultimately on me to go back and and create that environment. We’ll take it back to the the question that so many of these women are asking you know first and foremost how do you maintain intimacy. Will you look you you make time to connect and other waist right so whether that’s a foot rub or maybe that’s just holding one another or maybe it’s snuggling. You’re spooning at night but you do need to make sure that intimacy physically is maintained. Even if if you’re not having a specific type of sex and the next thing is sometimes i think a lot of us don’t want to have sex because its production brennan. You referred to ta- masturbation in your case as more maintenance like something you do for either stress reliever to get yourself hyped up or to fall asleep or just to kind of get your rocks off and sometimes. I think that we make it out as though sex with a partner always has to be this big long marathon. Everybody gets everything they need but i think that when when you have a young child or just when you’re busy and brennan night we run into this because of my travel schedule sometimes just just quick and dirty sometimes. It’s not it’s not a ten. It’s like something that feels good. You feel you’ll relax. After you feel connected. You both get what it is. You’re looking for but it doesn’t have to be what you see in porn and it doesn’t have to be what you read about in the books folks. It’s just a quick easy almost like masturbating together and then the next thing is because i’m hearing from so many women who find they don’t they’re not interested in sex either because they’re exhausted and mike hit the nail on the head and the reality is we know that unpaid labor and particularly domestically and child rearing continues to be unevenly distributed so much so that women tend to bear a greater burden so we need to make sure that people are stepping up to the plate but the second part is is the sex satisfy. Why is the sex really good because sometimes guys will complain to me on my wife. She’s never in the mood and i’m like okay. It could be lifestyle factor. It could have to do with her. It could also have have to do with the sex. You’re having if i know the sex is going to be good and i’m gonna get what i want. I’m going to be more inclined toward it. So also you know if your partner is not in the mood look in the mirror and and figure out. Are you giving them what they want. Have you ever talked to them about whether the sexist satisfying have you ever asked them. What do you get out of sex. What do you wanna get out of it. How can i make it better. How do you wanna feel have you discussed your core erotic feeling or your elevated erotic feeling and you can go back to the old podcasts and listen the core core roddick feeling being the feeling you need to experience in order to get in the mood for sex. You’re elevated erotic feeling being that unique feeling that takes sex to the next level for you and it’s going to be different from person to person you can go to the blog and read more about the core roddick feeling as well and then the last thing is if your partner is not in the mood food and you’re in the mood go enjoy masturbating. Maybe as mike said don’t always make it about maintenance. Make it about good sex. You invest time in partnered sex life you try and do sex sex lives you try and do things that are new and novel exciting. Try that with masturbation. Maybe masturbation won’t be a stand in or fill in when you can’t get sex. It’ll be a part of your your real sex life the other day we i came onto chess and i’m i’m guilty of not being as romantic and probably taking initiative initiative throughout the day me. I’m like a light switch right. It’s like honor off but i know that that’s not the case with jess so so anyway i flip the switch the other day and it didn’t work we ended up lying lying down and having a conversation and communicating but what did and didn’t work about what i was doing and at the end of it i did have sex and i’ll tell you it was it was awesome. It was very very good. I mean speak for your son. I am speaking for myself for me. Asia justice getting like all intimated on him. No i’m sniffing him right now. I like the way he smells but it was more about the idea that we started. We tried it didn’t work. We had a week communicated. We talked we relaxed and then it came about naturally but it was about investing that time time and the effort and for me getting a better understanding of what did and didn’t work so i would imagine having a new child and all these changes that are going on the communication is probably even more. Would it be more important now than it was before. You had the contained. It just just continues.

00:30:01 – 00:35:07

Any relationship evolves around communication like you said <hes> it’s work. It’s work in time investment and putting an investment in the relationship <hes> by having these communications and having these conversations. It comes a little bit harder because there’s more distraction. You know it’s not just work. It’s it’s not just money. It’s now a child so you come home. You’re on duty with the kid and you just have to remember that once. Kid goes to bed or your separate near together other that you’ve got to focus on each other and not just talking about your kid a we don’t like we talk about our lives you know and we cut all and you know caress each other her and make time for a date and date doesn’t have to be out of the house sedate can be just a romantic movie on the couch. You know and we crack a bottle of wine and and that’s enough for beer. I have nobody. I haven’t coca cola coca cola canals. Can i don’t even know if i go now. I have a coconut giant joint and my wife has a glass of wine or some cocktail that for us is a great night. I like that that because i think again there is so much pressure. That date night needs to be something. Exceptional sex needs to be something exceptional at all of these experiences if they feel good for you don’t don’t have to be mind blowing every single time. It’s like a meal. Sometimes you’re going to have this seven course meal especially you because your partner laura’s a cook yeah and eh sometimes you’re just going to grab a slice of pizza and that place a pizza can be really good too so i think that we need to stop making such a big deal out of sex. I would really like to drive home the message to new new mothers or to any parent who’s feeling the pressure to stop worrying about their partner and be a little bit more selfish for example. I tell new moms all the time when they’re cleared for sex. I saw the first time you have sex. Don’t even involve the peanuts say to your partner like you know. I just carried this baby for ten months berthod out my vagina now at second on my titties. Just go down on me now. Just go down on me. Let your partner go down on you. Take turns. It doesn’t always have to be this one specific acts but but i i i’ve had a number of new moms who are so happy. When i you say oh no no no you don’t even have sex in the intercourse. Since you lie back you tell them to get down between your legs you hold onto the back of their head like it’s joystick joystick. You take what you want and then you fall asleep and we guys go <hes>. That’s my favorite move whenever people i’m talking about going down on a evolve i tell people you gotta make noise man. Don’t be quiet. Don’t hold your breath and i make the whole audience. Go do it and then i go l. Now go <hes> <hes> on now <hes> good weird. The best is a here three hundred and fifty people in the audience doing this to the badly. It’s weird with me and brandon doing it. It’s even weirder. Three hundred fifth graders doing and i won’t won’t say which one was honor mikey. Thank you so much for joining us. You and i are going to be hanging together in september in toronto at a really cool event called mom fast so this is run by local toronto moms who liked to have a good time. We like to eat and drink. You’re involved in the programming. Tell us a little bit about it. So confessed is the super bowl for mumps. It’s put on by the women behind mums te’o which is basically a bunch of moms who are saying look your regular person person. You can have a good time you can drink you can eat you can be about you. Sometimes like this is an again. This is about the moms and i see this because i see my wife. I wanna take care of her. I want to give great things so there’s all these different activation. You’re going to be talking about how to get <hes> <hes>. Their sex lives going again. You can get a massage. You can get your hair. Did all of this included in your ticket and then we’re doing an awards gala in the evening. Okay cool and i’m going to be there with. We’ve i’ve so hopefully they’re going to be some vibrating. Prizes and people can find out more online at w._w._w. W. w. dot mom fest dot c._a. Tickets are on sale now and i cannot wait to see you at that. We booed booth and there again. I cannot wait to see you at the we’ve i booth doing the essential oils with them and and giving away some great information and we will definitely be giving away some we’ve <unk>. What’s your favorite revived on the we by nova. I like it powerful strong comfortable good hand holding very nice charging. The nova is sort of like a rabbit vibrator but it’s an upgraded version where the outside arm vibrates against that’s the external clitoris in the inside arm vibrates these rumblings sensations very shallow in the vaginal canal against the g spot is a pretty cool toy and have have you tried the vector yet the vectors their new prostate toy no but we’re getting a whole bunch sent over <unk> vessel.

00:35:07 – 00:36:01

I’m excited to see what <hes> what they include arkadi box. <hes> those are for the mum’s not for your bum what the victoria’s they’re sending over. Those are for the mom’s not for your bums. Mums was also have bob. Yes it’s not for your personal bottom. We’ll decide once. They get it all right. Thank you so much for being here. Thanks babe for help out again. I wanted to say a big. Thank you to desire resorts for your ongoing support of this podcast desire resorts they have multiple clothing optional adults <unk> only couples locations on the mayan riviera and brennan and i will be cruising with them in just a few weeks in europe south of france italy spain pain and more so check them out on also media at desire experience wherever you’re at have a wonderful week thanks for tuning in and we’ll be back next friday with a new episode as always.