June 10, 2019
Sexuality Superheroes: Wendy Miller
Say hello to this week’s Sexuality Superhero, Wendy Miller. Wendy and Jess go way back to their days on set of Playboy TV’s Swing. Since then, Wendy has written and produced numerous TV episodes, has become a distinguished comedy writer, and has created her own podcast. Read her feature below and learn more!
How did you find yourself working in sexuality?
Completely by accident. I was hired by Playboy TV to completely reinvent their programming and create premium adult shows for couples to enjoy together. Immediately, I had to surround myself with the best sex educators in the world in order to become an expert myself. Spending time with various sex educators, swingers and adventurous couples; and hanging out on the set of shows such as Swing taught me a lot more about sex than I ever expected.
What is the best part of the job?
Knowing that I was helping couples stay sexually in sync while getting to spend time with really open-minded people who are adventurous, less judgmental and a lot happier in life than anyone else I ever worked with, was an incredible gift. Also, free lube is always nice.
What is the most challenging part of the job?
The most challenging aspect of the job is actually incredibly helpful. When you work in this field, you find out very quickly who the haters are and who your people are. When I told people that I worked for Playboy TV or when I tell people that I host a podcast all about sex, I immediately get a read on them. Telling people you work as a sex educator or produce shows about sex is a highly accurate and fast litmus test. It can be very challenging to have to explain that you work in the world of sexuality — especially to people who are judgmental, fearful or have unhealthy relationships with sex. But this is also a positive since you get an immediate read on everyone.
What is your most important piece of advice that has the potential to revolutionize relationships?
Men are shockingly simple to please. They only want three things: Food, Sex and To Be Left Alone. If you’re tired, just give him two of the three. Mix it up. There’s a lot of good will in a sandwich or a blowjob.
What do you do to decompress and take care of yourself given that you spend so much time helping and caring for others?
This is an area where I definitely need to improve. I’m a workaholic and I’m 100% guilty of putting myself last. If I were better at this, I’d say that I always put my marriage and our needs as a couple before everything else. Make more time for fun date nights and silly things for us to do as a couple in order to stay connected. Also, I think it would be a lot healthier if there were no electronic devices allowed in our bedroom. Unfortunately, it’s after midnight on a Monday and I’m lying in bed typing this on my laptop. I work too many hours and I don’t decompress or take care of myself our nurture my marriage as much as I should. I know what I should do, but I don’t always do it. Just being honest here.
What do you want people to know about your work as a sex-positive podcaster and TV producer?
Being able to create the shows I did at Playboy TV, was the most important work of my entire career. I was charged with creating shows that were designed to keep couples sexually in sync and happily married. None of the other projects I produced in my career had such meaningful goals. It was an honor to get to create shows that normalize sex and hopefully keep couples curious and sexually engaged with each other.
I launched my podcast, Sex Ed The Musical, because I wanted to take everything I learned at Playboy TV and create a way for women over 40 to realize that we’re not alone when it comes to the shame and judgment associated with sex. It’s how we’ve been raised and taught about sex. All we hear as young girls is that we need to prevent males from trying to have sex with us. By the time we do become sexually active, there’s never a conversation about our pleasure. Many women in hetero relationships are sexually active for 10 or more years focused entirely on the pleasure of our male partners. It’s a long time before we start to realize that maybe there’s something in it for us as well. We need to start the conversation about pleasure for women a lot earlier, and we need to be more accepting and step away from shame and judgment so we can have more fulfilling and adventurous sex lives. Your life belongs to you and your sex life belongs to you, too.
Where can we learn more about your work?
You can listen and subscribe to my podcast, Sex Ed The Musical on iTunes or on my show page at www.sexedthemusical.com. You can reach me on Facebook and on IG. I’m also planning a live stage version of the Sex Ed The Musical for later this summer. I’ll also be releasing all sorts of fun clips on YouTube…as soon as I make my husband a sandwich.
Wendy Miller is an Emmy Award-winning TV producer and comedy writer, host of the podcast, Sex Ed The Musical, an ACS sexologist, and a public speaker.
Having written and produced hundreds of episodes of television, Wendy has worked directly with major production companies, networks, talent and senior broadcast executives throughout her career. She has written, produced and directed programming and original content for NBC, Paramount, Fox, ABC Family, The Oprah Show, The Tonight Show, The Wayne Brady Show, Telepictures, Brillstein Grey, Buena Vista, ABC Daytime Syndication, TV Land, Warner Brothers International, Lifetime, Oxygen, Carsey-Werner-Mandabach, Scripps and Playboy TV. Wendy was Vice President of Programming, Production and Development at Playboy TV where she developed and supervised an entirely original type of programming for called TV For 2, premium sex positive programming for couples to watch together in order to remain sexually in sync.
Wendy was also a guest on the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast, listen to her episode here.