April 29, 2019
Sexuality Superheroes: Dirty Lola
Meet Dirty Lola. She’s this week’s Sexuality Superhero! Lola is a sex podcast producer, a sex store manager, sex educator, and “edutainer”. Check out her work and advice below.
How did you find yourself working in sexuality?
My career path has been a wild one. I started out talking about sex and writing micro erotica on Twitter and Tumblr in 2010. During that time, I was also hosting burlesque shows in NY. I was able to use these platforms to express my sexuality and share all of the sex knowledge I had picked up over the years. I was also able to connect with the sex-positive community via these platforms which led to me attending my sexuality conference, Catalyst Con. It was during that conference when I decided I wanted to find a way to combine my love for burlesque with my love for sex-ed. This was the birth of what would eventually become my live sex-ed Q&A variety show Sex Ed A Go Go.
Producing Sex Ed A Go Go made me realize I needed to get away from the 9-5 office job grind and find work that was more flexible and that fed the work I was doing with the show. That’s when I started working at Shag, a women-owned and run sex shop in Brooklyn.
Five years later I’m still hosting and producing Sex Ed A Go Go, I’m a manager at Shag, and I’m in the midst of producing and hosting a project with New York Magazine. Typing this out and I’m still not sure how I got here. Lol.
What is the best part of the job?
I love when sharing my experiences helps others feel seen and not alone. I think we take for granted the power of validation. Kate Kenfield coined the term, ‘Beacon of Permission’, and I try to fully embody that with everything I do. Being a person with multiple marginalized identities, I think it’s even more important to show folks that you don’t need to thin, white and straight to have a fruitful sex life.
What is the most challenging part of the job?
Right now the most difficult part of this work is juggling three different schedules and trying to balance my work and personal life. It had definitely been a learning curve for me.
What is your most important piece of advice that has the potential to revolutionize relationships?
Keep your side of the street clean. It is really easy to point out what we think our partners need to do better in our relationships but it REALLY difficult to look at ourselves and see how we can be better. This could mean making sure you are taking care of yourself physically, seeing a therapist to help you deal with emotional traumas that could be affecting our relationships or something as small as making sure you are doing your part to keep your home tidy. I think looking inward and making sure you’re doing everything you could be doing on your end to make your partnership work, is just as important as working on your relationship as a couple.
What do you do to decompress and take care of yourself given that you spend so much time helping and caring for others?
I love spending time with friends and family. Spending quality time with people I love just fills my cup right up. I’m also a fan of baths. I love a good candlelit bath with a glass of wine and my favorite podcast playing in the background.
What do you want people to know about your work as a sex educator and podcaster?
My work isn’t just one thing. It’s many rolled into one. I’m an educator, an edutainer, and a performer. They’re all the threads that weave together to make a career I absolutely love.
Where can we learn more about your work?
Dirty Lola is a performer, edutainer, sex educator, and the creator and host of the live sex Q&A / variety show and podcast Sex Ed A Go Go. During the last six years, she has shared her distinctive brand of kickass body and sex-positivity and her personal journey into the kink and poly lifestyles on and off stage.