November 9, 2018
A Glimpse Into Jess & Brandon’s Relationship – Part II
Jess and Brandon continue the “partner interview” and share details about their greatest fears, fondest memories, where they hope to be in ten years and what they’re working on in terms of self-development.
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This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.
A Glimpse Into Jess & Brandon’s Relationship – Part II
Hello. Hello. This is Jess O’Reilly, your friendly neighborhood sexologist here with Brandon again today. Back for a little more. Back for more? Yes. Gotten for punishment. I wouldn’t describe these podcasts is that there are worst things I could do to you? Definitely. So before we get started, I want to say a big thank you to Desire Resorts for your support of this episode. Desire Resorts. They have multiple locations on the Mayan Riviera clothing optional couples only paradises where lots of fun happens. And Brandon can attest to that. Yeah, sometimes too much fun. Okay, we won’t go there. Make sure you check out Desire Resorts and Desire Cruises. Now, last week, Brandon and I started this partnered interview that is designed to increase intimacy, promote understanding, deepen your commitment to the relationship by opening up new conversations that you don’t normally have. And if you missed last week’s podcast, go back and listen to it. And I’ll just remind you that I often talk about how communication and relationships gets reduced to conversations related to work and money, kids and family and your agendas, your schedules. And although you have to talk about all of those important aspects of your life, they are not the foundation for an intimate relationship. And every couple I meet tells me they’re really good at communicating. And the reality is we all struggle with communicating. So Brandon and I, for example, might have all the tools at our disposal, but we don’t always use them. So, for example, even this interview is not something we’ve done before and forcing yourself to have these conversations once you’re in the groove. Actually quite interesting. When I listened to your answers last week, I almost feel like I didn’t know them. I knew them, but I didn’t know them. And then it was really interesting. It’s interesting. You say that because I think it’s a bit of a braggadocious thing that, oh, I know everything about my partner. And the reality is I don’t even want you to know everything about me. I also think that people whose attitudes are that they know everything. I hear it all the time. I assume that when somebody says that to me, it’s an unwillingness to learn or hear somebody else’s perspective. And more importantly, to learn something new, I actually feel like I always have something to learn. I feel the same way. Right. We were at the Everything to Do With Sex show this weekend, and I was talking about different sexual techniques, communication strategies, and people would come up and say, I think I have that covered. I’m an expert in that already, and I think it’s so interesting because what I think is I wouldn’t want to have sex with those people. I’m your partner, and I’ve heard you deliver these speeches hundreds of times, and I still feel like I could learn something new every time I listen to you speak. It’s funny, because I’ve written multiple books, mostly on sex on sexual technique and positions, and I do not remember all of them, and I wrote them, so I have to go back. And certainly I am not the ultimate expert in any of these things. If I read any of my colleagues books, I always learn something new. So you’ve probably heard of the growth mindset versus the fixed mindset. And I do think that you, the listener, are probably already in a space of being in the growth mindset, meaning you’re willing to learn. You realize that you don’t know everything. You realize that opportunities for learning exist around every corner. And so that’s what Brandon and I are going to embark on again right now. Yeah. So we went through five questions in last week’s episode, and now we’re going to go through the next five and we’re going to take turns answering them, and we’re going to try and forget that you are there and just look at each other and connect and give these a try. And of course, we encourage you to do the same and perhaps carve out a little bit more time than we have. We try and keep these episodes somewhat succinct because we know that you’re busy. We have a lot of people who are professionals and entrepreneurs and running around. So we want you to be able to get a lot of information in a short amount of time. So without further Ado, we’ll dive in. Brandon, what is your greatest fear? My single greatest fear is death dying. I’m very it sounds so morbid, but I think because I’m so appreciative and grateful for what I have that I have this overarching fear of losing it. And that is the ultimate loss. I mean, you can’t lose much more than that. I’m definitely afraid of losing you. I probably have a lot of eggs in this basket where you are very much my best friend. You are my lover. You are my partner. You are my business confidante. You are my marketing person. I bounce everything off of you. So I’m afraid of losing you. I’m afraid of getting sick dying. I’m afraid of not being appreciative of how good things are right now when I hear people complain about walking up the stairs. Well, no. Look, I think I know I’ve been guilty of doing it in the past, but when I see somebody complain about walking the stairs, I know that in my life, there will come a day that I want nothing more than to get out of bed and to be able to walk up a flight of stairs. And that whether it’s because I’m 100 years old and I won’t be able to do it or because something else has stopped me from doing it. That simple Act I won’t be able to do. And I want to be able to reflect back on where I am right now. And all the aches and pains and everything aside, everything is really frigging good. And I think we get into these bubbles where our problems are very I want to say, okay, my problems are not problems. They aren’t. My problems are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. And again, I know that one day there will be real problems, and I don’t want to look back at where I am today and be like, wow, if my situation was the same as it is at this moment, everything would be amazing. And to think about how I didn’t take advantage of this moment, I’d be upset with myself. Yeah, I share that fear, too. The fear of death. And for people who are relatively young, I mean, I’m in my 30s. You’re going to tell me I’m in my 40s? Well, you are technically, man. I’m 38. Embryon is 40, and so hopefully death is a very distant. I hope so. Hopefully it’s far in the distance. But we do. We think about death a lot for me. I do think it has to do with gratitude for what we have. And so if I have to talk about my biggest fear and I don’t know if this sounds obvious or if this sounds pathetic. But my biggest fear is losing you. I really like life with you. I love life in general. And I say it every day. Every day I turn to you and I go, I love life. Yes, you really do. I’ve never met anyone quite as appreciative and grateful as you. Not a day goes by that you don’t roll over or look at me and say something about how good you think life is. And I’m reminded of how good life is when I have a sip of wine that I love when I smell my dog, when I smell you, when I see your messy hair. So I love life. But the most fulfilling part of my life is you. And I know they say, Does that scare you? It does scare me because I like you so much. Like I love you. Obviously, I love you, and I care about you deeply, and I want you to be taken care of and happy and fulfilled and safe for the rest of your life. But I think that love is easy. I think liking over the long term is the hard part. And Brennan, I like you so much, and I like a lot of other people, too, but I just don’t like, maybe this will insult people. I don’t know. I don’t like anyone as much as I like you. I get it. I like being around you. I like just knowing that you’re in the room next to me with all of the exciting things in my life. And admittedly, I have a very nice life. My job affords me a ton of exciting opportunity, and I get to help people. And I get a lot of positive reinforcement from people. But at the end of the day, I am most grateful for life because I have you. And so losing you scares me. And I know that you take care of yourself. I know that you eat fairly well, you exercise. I worry about you with stress. I worry about you with your sleep. I worry that you prioritize other things above yourself. So I worry about losing you. And many years ago, and this is going to get a little vulnerable here a little more. You said something to me when we were in our 20s. That like, I don’t know. You thought you were going to die in your 50s. Do you remember that? Yeah. Why would you say that to me? I don’t want to die in my 50s or just something about that. I think it’s just a paranoia. I certainly hope it was. Babe, I told you before, I need to live to be 100, and you’ll be 103. Yeah. His birthday is February 12, and mine is February 18. And we’re two years and six days apart. So I just like to tease them about the three years. So, yeah, that’s my biggest fear. And I think this is something we can keep talking about. And I’ll just say to you, the listener, that if you are going to carve out time to go through these questions, you might need a little bit more time than Brandon and I are affording ourselves here. And so I’m going to let Brandon dive in. So what’s next to the next question? The next question is, what is your fondest memory? So I don’t want to say it’s easy, but sometimes when the first thing that pops into your head is there, it obviously is a stand out. So in 2006, in Negril, Jamaica, Brandon and I were married, and it was definitely the most memorable week of our lives. And the moment I remember most profoundly and most fondly was the night that our friends and family all arrived. And we were standing in the ocean in the perfectly calm, still water of Bloody Bay, which is in Negril. The sun was setting and the sun sets in Negril are spectacular because it’s the Western tip of the island of Jamaica, and we were tossing the Frisbee around, tossing a Frisbee or an Araby, and everything just seemed calm. Remember, the water felt like bath water. It did, and it didn’t move. It was stagnant. It just sat there. Yeah. And I was excited because we were there for the purpose of getting married. I was feeling a thrill because we were away from home. I felt loved and supported because our friends and family were there. We didn’t have a small wedding, but we didn’t have a huge wedding. There were just about 100 of us. And so everyone who was there meant something to me and to you. And so, yeah, that’s my fondest memory. And when we planned to get married, we were married in Jamaica, but it wasn’t really a destination wedding because my family is from there I really didn’t care about the wedding itself. I wanted the party. I wanted to commit to you, but I didn’t care about the certificate. I didn’t care much for the institution, and I was surprisingly moved by the wedding ceremony itself. I didn’t expect to be so emotionally moved, but I was crying the whole time, of course. And you were crying, which meant that everybody started crying because Brandon started crying. Yeah, I’d written down a few words and I got through, like, six of them before I started breaking out into tears. And yeah, it was a pretty unexpectedly moving event. Yeah. So that’s my fondest memory was not the ceremony itself, which actually flew by. And I don’t remember that clearly, but just being in the water, throwing the disk. I love the ocean. I love to move. I like Frisbee, for which Brandon makes fun of me. And so I’ll ask you, Babe, what is your fondest memory? That was definitely one of my that was on my highlight reel thus far. I’ve had just been thinking about it while you’ve been answering, and that would have been one of my fondest memories. Another one was I can think of two. Number one was when we had when we met our dog. Oh, my God. So she came over to our house. If you know, our dog Lido. She fit into the palm of my hand. It was unreal. It was like this little wind up toy. And she was at our house with three of her siblings. And of course, I feel terrible enough for having had pulled her away from them. But I don’t know how we didn’t end up with four dogs that day. It was unreal because our house isn’t big enough. Yeah, but I love her over the moon. And that was certainly one of my fonder memories. And then the other one that stands out was when we traveled and we were in Rome, and we turned a corner, wandering the streets and found this Piazza. Nothing particularly spectacular about it other than the fact that it was probably 1500 years old and had all sorts of history that would have blown my mind. But we sat on a patio and had a drink and simply, people watched as the sun set that evening, and it was relaxing. I’m seeing this common thread rolling through these three memories that we have about being disconnected from technology, where when we got married, we just weren’t roaming data wasn’t as much a thing. You’re kidding. We couldn’t afford it. We couldn’t afford to turn our phone on a minute where all the local people could call internationally for nothing. Yeah. Being disconnected is a part of our fondest memories. When you described that day in Rome, I remember that day we’re in Tristair Vera. I don’t know if I’m saying that correctly. And we stumbled upon this Plaza by accident, right? Yeah. We just turned a corner, and I remember thinking to myself. This looks like an amazing spot to have a drink. And we sat down and the restaurant wasn’t amazing, but just being out there, everyone doing their thing going in different directions. Tourists, locals feeling like you’re stepping back in time, too. Yeah. It’s very humbling, I think, to be in an environment where for me, knowing that 1500 years ago, people were walking those streets, living their lives, and to be a part of that for just a fleeting moment, I thought, was really profound. I think there’s an important theme here for us. When we go on vacation today, we follow a map. We have Google maps. I usually have kind of a route planned out because there are eight different pastry shops I want to go to. Are you kidding me? We have, like, 16 roots planned. Yeah, and I appreciate them all. I’m the planner, and we do leave some openings, but not like we used to for wandering. And so I think there’s something there that you and I might want to further explore for shutting down, turning our phones off and just allowing life to happen. I know it’s not always going to be like that, but even just when we’re on vacation. So with the holidays coming up, maybe we can talk about designating, some time to have our phones off. We’re going to be away. We won’t be in a city where we’re exploring. We’ll be in Jamaica with the family. But even just disconnecting, I think, is important because if all of our fondest moments involved being disconnected, that says something about the moments we want to create for the future. Agreed. Okay. Moving on. Next question. What are you working on in your life right now? And how can I be of support? Well, you’re very supportive, no matter what I do, which is great. I was wondering if you were joking. No, I’m being serious. I think you’re pretty supportive. I’m a people. Pleaser. I’m always trying to make everyone think that I’m a ten out of ten with primarily with work and that spills over to our personal lives. My personal life in general, beyond just this relationship, friendships, family, you name it, and the anxiety that I think comes with that stress that I’ve put on myself. So I’m trying to work on that. I’m not really sure how I’m trying to work on it. I have certainly some people in my life that are very helpful that I find very helpful. Like, I find Varsha great our chiropractor, and she practices different types of yoga mindfulness. She’s a Chiro. She does acupuncture. She makes sure that my body functions, but I’ve brought her in to speak to the people that work for me and my company about being present about techniques and strategies to reduce the stress. Because when you’re constantly trying to please everyone, anyone that I ever meet, I’m always trying to make them like me. I mean, clearly you can see the personal issues that I have it’s terribly well, no, it’s taxing, man. It is. You want everyone to like you. You never want to offend anyone. You never want to do anything wrong and you neglect yourself. It’s so funny that as I put these thoughts into words that I think about how I’m pleasing everyone else, I’m taking care of everyone else. And listen, I’m deep down I’m good, but that self care doesn’t exist because you’re constantly making sure that other people are okay. And in this relationship, I do that with you, and I’m not upset about it. But I’m always trying to make sure that you’re happy, that you’re good, I would say, and this is kind of a different conversation, but I think you’re obsessed with me being happy. And you’re I know where you’re going with this. I think you being okay is contingent on my being okay. I’ve had to learn to be okay when you’re not okay. And I’m learning that now I’m learning that just because you’re not an eight out of ten one day, it doesn’t mean that I can’t be an eight out of ten. And I have to separate sometimes how I feel in this relationship from how I feel with other people and with other interactions that I have. So you can support me in that respect by my standard, which is be more patient. But perhaps understanding the problem that I’m feeling would be helpful, because then I think it helps you think about what I might need to. I don’t know if I’m shirking responsibility by telling you to think about my problem, but no, you’re giving me some context to understand where you’re coming from, I think. Yeah. I mean, sometimes I have days where I just want to blow a gasket. And that desire to blow a gasket is because something went awry. That probably I was hoping to do or hoping to complete so that perfection is maintained or is attained. So the support, the patience, the understanding and also verbalizing this, I think, will help me so that I can feel more comfortable working on that. Yeah, I hear you. I think you’re right, that I could be more I should be more patient with you because I can be a little results oriented and want things fixed right away. And I know that’s not always fair. So, yeah, I hear what you’re saying, and I’ll work on it. And as we kind of go through these questions, I think that each conversation could use a little bit more time and digging. Yeah. Trying to summarize this in 30, 40 minutes is tough, but it’s certainly I could see how sitting down this could become a very interesting conversation to have over the course of a couple of glasses of wine or a coffee or dinner. How about you? Yeah. And I think this is a good start. So for me, what am I working on in my life right now and how can you support me? I’m working on many things. It’s interesting that you’re a people, pleaser, because I also struggle with that. I struggle with perfectionism, which is a really negative trait that people try to spend as a positive. But it’s really not. But one thing I’m really working on or should be working harder on is having a little bit more balance because I go hard, and I think I may be where the speed at which I move and the number of places I can go and the number of things I can do and my efficiency. I think I sort of wear efficiency as a badge of honor when, in fact, I know I need to find a little more balance because I crash sometimes this week was a good example of just feeling like I had nothing left on Monday and Tuesday after the weekend at a show. Like I said, I had my twelve speeches. I had people coming up to me sharing a lot of personal info that I wasn’t really prepared to handle. And I don’t set boundaries emotionally handle right. And so part of what I’m working on in terms of balance is setting more boundaries with people with saying, you know what I really feel for you. And I’m so sorry I can’t help with that right now. And I really feel for you. And I can help you with another resource. But I’m maybe not equipped because I’ll tell you literally, I was walking onto stage. This is a big stage with 450 people waiting, and I’m walking on a stage and somebody tells me that they were assaulted and they need to talk to me about it. And of course, your first response is to try and support this person, but at the same time, I can’t really support that person in 30 seconds and take on that a ten out of ten. Yeah. And then take on that emotional burden. So I need to set boundaries. And this is on me. Like, I’m not putting this on other people. I think I need to set better boundaries so that I have more balance so that I number one, sleep more because I’m not sleeping well. And we have all this data that says that when you don’t sleep well, you are not as empathetic. You’re not as rational, you’re not as reasonable. So I want to work on that. And the way you can support me. I mean, you’re very supportive, just of my lifestyle in general, but the reading to me at night, even just for two minutes. Man, baby, it puts me right to sleep. Like I said, you want to put your partner to sleep, read to them? Yeah. He’s been reading numerous books. I don’t even know what they are. I’m not even listening. You really don’t know what books they are, do you? You were reading a Carl Sagan book at one point. Yeah, I still am. And then there’s a book about a war veteran. What’s it called unbroken. I think it turned into a movie. Oh, well, anyhow. When you read, I just really enjoy the sound of your voice. It feels soothing. It feels safe. And yeah. So that’s how you can support me. So are the people that are listening going to sleep right now listening to my voice? Hopefully not. I’m here to wire them up. All right. So just a couple more questions before we wrap this up. All right. So my turn. Where do you see our lives together in about ten years from now? Well, I’m going to tell you what I hope. I hope that we have continued to travel, and I hope that even for a short period of time, we have the opportunity to live abroad and our family circumstances maybe don’t allow that right now. And maybe when I really think about it, I don’t want to get too personal. Maybe I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want our family circumstances to change so that we can live abroad. But I hope that at some point in time we live abroad. I picture us working more together because I have a really fun, cool job and I’m not ready to throw in the towel yet, and I can see that it appeals to you. I like having you by my side. The only thing that isn’t amazing about my work is that I’m away from you so much. I still want to be away from you. Sometimes I think it’s good. I enjoy my time on my own, but not as often as I am. So I see us doing more work together. Or at least you are having more flexibility to travel with me. Interesting. And then the last piece, which is one that you and I can spend hours and days and weeks on end talking about. We’ve been talking about adopting a child, and certainly within ten years, we started the process years ago. Yeah, I hope that that is a part of our lives. Or if for some reason, it’s not what’s in the plan for us. I hope that we’ve kind of figured out what our plan is. What do you want to be when you grow up? Is that the question thing like that? So how about you? Where do you see? I know it’s difficult to answer that question once I’ve painted the picture for you. Yeah, we share a lot of the same ideas and visions because we always talk about the future. And I think I need to be more focused on living in the now. But when I do think about ten years from now, I agree. I see us living abroad not full time, just part time and not living abroad and doing nothing and living abroad. But working. I really enjoy working. I enjoy the challenge of work. I know a lot of people despise or dislike going to work. I enjoy working. I don’t enjoy like you said the badge of honor of being busy. I also don’t necessarily believe entirely in the whole balance formula. I think that there are periods in your life days, weeks, months where you’re on a scale of let’s call it busyness. So I’m going to go there. You could be an eight or nine out of ten. I think you need to offset that by periods in your life where you end up averaging a five out of ten, which you and I failed to do. So. Anyway, the question was ten years from now living abroad. I do think about a child. I do think that it will happen. And when it happens, I feel like a lot of things in our lives. It will just happen quickly because that’s what we do. A little Brandon. No, not a little Brandon. Well, it won’t be named Brandon because we won’t get to name him or her have their own name. But I think I do see a child in our life. I think people always joke around, too. I joked around for the longest time, Freedom 45 or Freedom 35, the whole Freedom 55 commercial back in the day. I don’t aspire to that because I actually think I might get a little bored. I don’t want to do nothing. I want to do something. I love my work. I find it very interesting. I love supporting the people that I work with and doing an excellent job at what I do. And you like your clients. I like my clients very much. They’re fun. I get to live vicariously through my clients in that I learn about their lives and in some ways I learn about their relationships because I own a real estate company. So I see people when they’re at their most, probably one of the highest stress levels in their lives. When they’re bidding, negotiating, offering, moving. It can be what does it use? It’s like one of the top two or three stressors in your life. Yeah. Moving can rank right up there with, like, losing a loved one. It can be a very stressful time because of the transition. Yeah. So that’s where I see us in ten years from now, which is a little bit of time abroad, working together, having fun with that, having a kid, having them teach me how to play sports again. Maybe how to use technology, how to use it to Google. Yeah. No. Google is a fad. Yes. Google’s going out, sell your stock.
Thanks. I look forward to ten years from now, 2030. I look forward to growing old. Not too quickly. No, I’m not afraid of being old as much as I am afraid of being near the end of life. Like I feel like I’ve had the 17 years with you has flown by. I feel like the people that I aspire to be when I grew up, those people that are in their 60s and 70s and 80s. I feel like one day you wake up and you just realize that your body, this vehicle that carries you is 75 or 80. But mentally, you can still be that fun, curious person. Vibrant. Yeah. Even with bodies. I had my Uncle Mike on the podcast a while back, Big Mike, and you should go back and listen to that one if you haven’t. He and Philly have been together for decades upon decades upon decades, and they still stand up, paddleboard. They are out being active. He’s blowing up the inflatable boards. He’s taking. That guy cracks me up, and he is. What was he doing? I remember we locked ourselves out of a room and at like, 02:00 in the morning, he had Jimmy open the door. No, he took the door frame, took the door frame off and repainted it at 07:00 a.m. The next day. Exactly. I’m too young to really offer any expertise on this, but my perspective from observing others is that it’s a number. And so I’m not afraid of the aging. So I look forward to ten years from now, 20 years, 30, 40. And so lastly. Oh, I guess you’re supposed to ask me this last one. Didn’t I just ask you one? Okay. You’re up. Oh, I’m up. Okay. Describe your perfect day. My perfect day in Toronto. It’s warm. It’s not cold, so it’s probably late spring or the middle of the summer. I wake up early. I take Lido, our dog and I walk to get coffee at Sumac. I sit down, probably chill out there for a few minutes, maybe read a little bit, come back. It’s still early now because I got up at like six. Go get some physical activity, maybe go get a workout in and then the rest of the day kind of just explore, wander, relax. I envision myself still working. So probably doing a bit of work for a couple of hours. Just because maybe I don’t know anything else to do. If it wasn’t working, it might be volunteering then coming back together at the end of the day with you. Now I envision doing all of these things with you. So you have to get up early. I don’t mind getting up early. Yeah, as long as I can stay up late because I love to rock. This is my perfect world. I’m going to get a massage at some point. Someone’s going to Cook me dinner and do the dishes after we’re going to have dinner together. Hey, look, it’s perfect day. Maybe some friends are going to come over. Not for too long, though. Not for too long, because we can hang out for a little bit. Maybe they come over for dinner. Okay. And then we do the massage and then we Netflix and chill and actually chill and actually chill after the Netflixing part. And it’s now 02:00 a.m.. And I go to sleep and repeat again on 4 hours of sleep and everything’s cool. And I don’t feel tired my perfect day in Jamaica is totally different. I’ll let you do it. Yeah, because my perfect day is someplace warm with an ocean. You know what? No one’s really asked me this question before, but if I do think about a perfect day, it’s with you. It’s with the dog. There might be other people there. There are important people in my life, like my parents and Mike and Denise and Luigi and Annabella. These are my cousins, and Matthew and I had to say Anna’s name a little longer in case she’s listening because I’ll get a message. And so, yeah, I’d like to move around. I’d probably like to stand up, paddleboard, swim. I like to be underwater. I would be working like I like to sit by the ocean and work. My favorite part of my job is definitely live speeches, so I would still be. So at some point, a jet would pick you up, take you somewhere, you would do a live speech, you turn around and come back something like that. That sounds pretty good, too. It doesn’t have to be every day. I don’t want to be on stage every day, but I’d either be preparing for it or gearing down from it. It’s interesting to identify what you see as perfection, because what comes to mind for me is the ocean. And yet I’ve always lived in the city. So I do love the city. And I think when we talk about the ten year plan versus tomorrow’s perfect day, I’d like a balance between a big city and the ocean. I do know that I don’t like being cold. Really. You are constantly cold, so it could be 15 deg outside and you’re cold. Okay. So 15 deg for people is like 60 deg. Yeah, 60 degrees in Fahrenheit. We’re talking in our Canadian numbers. You’ve got your downfilled coat on and it’s 15 degrees out. So I feel like this conversation is one that we could extend, but I think it’s more important for me to say to you wherever you’re at could you consider asking and answering some of these questions with your partner? If not with your partner with someone else that you care about. So for many people, it’s not an intimate partner who is the most important person in their life. It could be someone else who they see having a really close companionship with. But I recommend that if it’s not these questions that you come up with your own, and this is certainly not an exhaustive list. It’s just a start. It’s the ten questions that I provide in some of the sessions I do in other sessions. I actually provide a totally different set of questions. We’ve only done five today if you missed the first five there on the first episode available last week. But I urge you to consider thinking outside the box, and if it feels hokey or if it feels cheesy or if it feels taxing or demanding, I think that means it’s even more important because we don’t want our conversations to become reduced to kids and family money and work and your agendas because there’s so much more in Vape. I guess I need to stop for a second and thank you for doing this with me. I mean, this was fun and I find it very interesting to have these conversations and to share it. And like you said, looking at the questions now, with the exception of substituting the question. But where do you see our lives together in ten years? It could just be. Where do you see your life in ten years from today, these questions could be asked to a friend. They could be asked to anybody. In fact, I think there was worth contemplating on your own, regardless of whether you have someone handy to share them with at this time. So now that I’m tongue twisting my words, it’s time to stop. Thanks, baby. Thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you to Desire Resorts for your support of this podcast. Check out Desire Resorts and Desire Cruises and thank you to you for listening. I hope it all made sense to you because we were just doing this raw for the first time together. So wherever you’re at have a wonderful week. Keep talking. Keep contemplating and hang on to that growth mindset. Because the more open your mind is, the more fulfilling your life will be. We’ll be back next Friday with another episode. Have a great one. Wherever you’re at. See you then.