June 28, 2017
The Secret to a Happy Relationship
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I’m excited about this one! Last week I caught up with my friend, former co-worker, super mom, loving wife and Real Housewives of Toronto cast member, Grego Minot. We discuss the secret to a happy relationship and she dishes on love, passion and her new reality as a “real housewife”. Her hubby (and my former boss) Pierre Jutras also drops in for a surprise chat.
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Rough Transcript:
This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.
The Secret to a Happy Relationship
Participant #1:
Hello. Hello, folks. This is Jessica O’Reilly, your friendly neighborhood sexologist. And we are here to look at the science, the data, the anecdotes that you can use to have a happier relationship, a hotter sex live. And I’m really excited today because I am joined by Grego Mino. I pronounced it right. Yes, correct. The full pronunciation is Gregorian, Gregorian. Wait. And I thought I’d Butcher it. And Grego and I go way back about 17 years, 17 years, 17 or 18 years. But you probably know Grego, and if you don’t, you’re going to Google her for sure from the Real Housewives of Toronto. And so Grego and I bartended together 17 years ago when we were much younger, much stronger. And the reason I have Grego here is once you Google her and see her story, you’ll see that she is madly in love with her husband of 20 years, who I, in fact, worked with. And Pierre and Grego are ultimately responsible for getting Brandon and I my husband together. So welcome. Thank you for having me, Jess. And I’m really happy to see you. I know you haven’t changed. You spectacular. Like always. The truth is, Grego looks exactly the same as Son, and it’s our Asian gene. It is. But somehow we’re keeping our white husband young, too. Yes, we have to talk about that. So let’s rewind a little bit. You’ve been with Pierre for 20 years for 20 years, and Grego is going to be sharing the secrets to this happy marriage in the public eye with two kids, busy, busy lifestyle. And their story is really beautiful. And I know them personally. Although we’ve been out of touch. I know how happy they are together, and that’s why I wanted to talk to her. So tell me first, how did you and Pierre meet? So Pierre and I, we met both from Montreal. So we met in Montreal. And I used to work for Pierre when Pierre used to have a club in Montreal called the Salvios. It was a time in my life as a child actor. I always worked all my youth. And that phase when I met Pierre was just okay. I want to have fun. I just want to experience life. I worked with Pierre for eight months. I caught the Sagio that was a bartender, and I was so bad as much. Remember, you were actually working. I was just there having to shoot her. Well, Craig was pretty charming, so she probably didn’t have to pour as many drinks. Me. I was barking at night, 20 shoes
Participant #1:
at a time. I met Pierre at Club de Savios. I was working for him as a partner, but I was in a previous relationship at that time here, too. But the day it was this instant connection. But we were friends before being a couple very good friends. We actually travel together as a group of friends. And it was only two years after that, we started to be a couple. Okay. So you transitioned from friends? Yeah. And I think this is why today I think we always have this chemistry as friends. Like, really? Of course, the chemistry was yeah. But just we love to have fun together. He’s like, my best friend. We’re like a team. I guess we’re a team. And I heard him talk about you on one of the outtakes from the rail house fires in Toronto. And he refers to Grego as a flower that’s constantly blossoming. I’m actually going to cut that in for you folks to hear that’s, dear. Yeah. Very sweet. So, I mean, I know this is a difficult question, but what is the secret to a happy marriage from your perspective, from my perspective? Wow. The secret. I’ll be honest. I don’t think there’s, you know, for me, it doesn’t mean that works for everyone, of course. But for me, I think you always remember why we fell in love. And
Participant #1:
I remember when I first saw him. It was just like those butterflies and this instant connection. And there’s something that I knew that he was the one. So I think to always remember why we fell in love. And of course, we respect each other. And, you know, you have two young children. Yes. You both have very busy careers. So sometimes you must forget why you fell in love. Of course. And I will tell you, Jessica, it’s not always the picture perfect. No, of course. We go through hard times, good times and especially parents today to two little ones. We have two beautiful children. They’re amazing. But of course, in our parents, we a relationship kind of take the back seat sometimes a lot, because the focus is on the children and we’re working on not to forget our relationships. How do you make time so make time just going to restaurants or movies? I’ll be honest. It’s where we go to the movies, but just going to France, hatch for dinner without the kids, without the kids. Yeah. Without feeling guilty. I know, like any of the moms listening feel very guilty. I was talking to my girlfriend the other day who’s very similar to you guys. Happy marriage, very busy. Two young kids. And they’re going to Europe for, I don’t know, five or six days this summer without the kids. And she’s embarrassed to tell anybody. Oh, really? She’s leaving the kids. I’m saying leave those kids. Yeah. You know what? It’s good for the parents. And it’s good for the kids. It is good. Of course, it’s good. And she has her parents to help out. So it’s not like they’re leaving them in a box. I remember when Karen and I went on a vacation for a week and Tristan was eight months and my grandparents came. I thought also that’s the first time, but it was important for us to have that time. And of course, every day you Skype, you call it’s. It was very good for the both of us. And then you come back happier. Yes. With more energy, you’re going to be a better parent. Yeah. I agree. I just started back. I trained as a ballet dancer, and I stopped. And now I’m going back into dancing, and I’m learning how to do ballroom dancing. And I was talking with my teacher that teaches couples, and it was sharing this couple that are 60 years old and they’re dancing the Ginsenian Tango. And that’s a sexy one. Right. But he was telling me Grego and I was actually telling him, I want to take this with Pierre because we need. And that’s why Jessica, I’m so happy because you might help us.
Participant #1:
I’m very honest. After 20 years after having two babies, sometimes you kind of get in a routine, and it’s hard sometimes to get out of this routine. So I’m going to need some tips for that. You don’t need me. You guys are going to go take the Argentinian Tango. Yes. It’s funny how I can picture you Argentinian tangoing, but Picturing Tierra’s harder in ballroom dancing. The man has to lead
Participant #1:
always. That’s the ballroom dancing. And for me, it’s always I always want to lead. Yeah. So it’s a very interesting kind of thing because I’m used to leading. Well, especially in dance, because I have a training in dance for me, my natural way is to leave. But no, my teacher was asking, it’s 50 50. You have to trust, and you have to let your partner, the partner has to leave. So this is the whole experience, has to let your partner lead. So that’s actually really good practice. It’s a very good practice for me to let him leave, even though if he doesn’t know the step or he has to leave and you have to trust him. So it’s the switching of roles. It’s the practice of trust. Obviously, there’s intimacy and face to face, eye to eye trust. And it’s a passion. The Tango, it’s far you it’s that sensuality. So I’m looking forward to that with Pierre. Nice. And the other thing about Pierre is he’s so expressive, as you heard from that clip earlier. Right. So is that your love language? Is your love language? Words. Is that how you feel? Love? Yeah. Well, Pierre, he’s a romantic. He’s very romantic and abusive. Yes. And he’s Frenchman. I love to write poems. I’m a very lucky woman to have a husband that always treats me, treats me like a Princess. Yes, I remember that. So it’s been a very long time. It’s been a long time. Yeah. And so when you think about the most exciting thing you’ve done together because excitement is what we really desire in relationships and what keeps us motivated. Because think of what do you guys do that’s exciting or what’s the most exciting thing you’ve done together? Has it been travel? I know you recently came back from Thailand. Well, recently we just came back from Thailand. I was born in Thailand. I was adopted when I was two weeks old by a French father and a French Canadian mother. And a few months before giving birth to my own daughter. That’s three years ago, I found her. You found your violin, my birth mom. And a few months ago, we went back with our children, my adoptive parents. Oh, really? Yes. And Pierre. And we went to Thailand, and we traveled to Thailand, and we met her. And it was one of the most amazing, lifetime changing experience. It’s something that here. And I, my children and my parents will always have. And her and my birth mom. And I found her. I wanted to find her just because I wanted to tell her how much I want to thank her for the life she gave me. And it’s all because of her. And are you going to make me cry? I know, guys. I’m falling. She was a very young woman when she decided to give me up. And for me, I considered this as a pure act of love. Of course, on her side, not unselfish me as a mother. Now, I can just understand and give up your own child. But, you know, this is for the right reasons. And I wanted to tell her that regardless of if he didn’t want to meet me or was not able, I was prepared to all scenarios.
Participant #1:
I just wanted to let her know that she did the right thing and that I only have love for her. And she wanted to meet me. She’s always hoping to meet me one day. And finally it happened. And we spent the whole week together with my family and her. And I got to know her. I got to see where she lives. And I got to share that experience with Pierre with Pierre. And we actually also went to Norfold. Oh, you did. Oh, I think I saw that on my stories. If you’re not following your Insta handle is Grego Mino Grecomino. Yeah. Amino is M-I-N-O-T. But we’re going to stick that up on the site so you guys can take a look at it, too. So I have to tell you. So the part of why I’m bawling is that 17 years ago, when Grego and I were bartending together, we were getting ready in the washroom. And you don’t remember this? I’m sure. But we were talking about our backgrounds. And you’re Thai and I’m Chinese mixed. And Grego said these words to me. She said I was adopted by French parents, and they saved my life. And so I was, I think, 20 at the time, 20 years old children were the farthest thing from my mind. But from that moment to today, I’ve known that I want to adopt. So, Brandon, my husband and I are in the process of adopting. We are. Yeah. Through Children’s Aid in Ontario, Canada. So we’re probably looking at a slightly older child because they have a lower chance of being adopted. But Grego is a big part of that inspiration, actually, all of it. She was the impetus to get me thinking about it from that day. We’re getting ready in the bathroom. You got to make me cry now. I know, and I cry very easily. So I’m a terrible interviewer, but this is wonderful for me. It is something that sharing my story. And now this platform with the show to share my story, I feel like, okay, there’s something bigger. There’s something just a calling somewhere and talk about adoption. I am very fortunate because I have a beautiful story. But not everybody has true. Everybody has a different adoption story. Mine is a beautiful one. But I know how hard it is to adopt it, especially today it is jumping through Hoops. I’ll tell you. Yeah. And it shouldn’t. Well, I think my very root early experiences have been that they are very careful, obviously. And so they almost want to scare you off. And I understand that because they’re there to protect the kids, and they don’t want someone making a decision, like, yeah, sure. I’d love a puppy. So they have to obviously vet you. So that’s the beginning of my process. And it sounds like you’ve had some beautiful openings and some closures on yours getting to meet your mom. Really? Yeah. She’s part of my life. And I promised her to come back and be part of her life. Wonderful. And she lived that with my husband and my children. That was amazing. And to have his support here, I think, to have a partner that supports you and encourage
Participant #1:
Pierre was also a big instigator of me searching for her. Of course, it was always in me, but he triggered it. And I feel very lucky to have a partner that helped me understand me to fulfill me as a woman, as a mother, as a woman. But to do that and be so supportive, I feel very privileged. I think, in the relationship when you feel that way, and it has to be vice versa as well. But to see that we believe in each other. So that was a big gift from Pierre. Yeah. And I’ve known again. I could see how supportive he was of you back when you were acting and we were bar attending. Yeah. And I’m in a similar case, Pier and Brennan are very similar in their disposition in the way to support us. And we’re very similar and that we are full of love. But if you piss us off, I don’t know about you. I can only tell from your facial expression, but sometimes I don’t know when I describe Brandon, my husband, and how supportive he is, I wonder if I’m the same. Like I feel like he inspires me to be as good as he is. And I don’t know if you feel that way, like they’re just really loving people. And I like your story that it’s not like, oh, here’s this one thing we do once a week that keeps us together. It’s the underlying kind of theoretical underpinnings of being supportive, of remembering why you first met making time, even though you’re busy as parents and professionals. And, of course, anyone who’s ever listened to me speak knows trying new things, like the Argentinian Tango Tango. Exactly. And that video of Pierre has to go viral
Participant #1:
for me. I want my children to not just to see but to feel, to know what love is and how a couple I don’t want to be fake. I want my children to learn those values of what love and respect and communication and respect of each other, to treat his future wife the same. My husband treats me and Camelia the same with her future husband partner. But to see how Pierre and I, we make the time for each other and the children they know, they know if Mommy and Daddy did something they know. So for us, it’s important to be real in front of the children, we have fight in front of them because all couples fight. Well, you know. Yeah, I know. We really don’t want a five story. It’s something that when we go to arguments, we really make the effort not to do any funding to children. Okay. It’s something that because children they understand they process it their own way. But we really when we have challenges we try not to do in front of the children. I don’t know if that’s. Well, I see two sides, and I’m sure there’s some data on this I see on one side, they’re watching you resolve an issue and still come back together and love one another. Yeah. They’re young, and they don’t have the same ability as you said, to process the emotional component, because sometimes you say things to hurt one another. Sometimes I have all the theory in the world. I know how you’re supposed to behave in a relationship, but in the heat of the moment, I’m a jerk. Yeah, I’m an animal, but that’s really what boils down. Yeah, I’m the same. Well, it’s a human reaction. We say things sometimes we do not want anymore every day, not want to say and mean and master is always. Yes. I’m like, oh, that’s not what I meant. Yeah. Well, actually, you brought up dancing many years ago, about ten years ago, Brandon and I took a salsa class together, and he bought it for me for Christmas or something. I remember at one of the classes, like the second or third class we got in a fight, and we kind of stormed out, and it turned us off dancing, and we laugh about it now. But I really want to take it up again. First of all, because Brandon has more rhythm, like I call him, like, Usher. So much rhythm. Such a talented dancer. Brad is amazing. Yeah. So I think we need to get back at it. We should get the title class together. I will do it. But my challenge is being in town. I need to do a workshop all at once because it’s a travel. Okay. Well, we can do that. And Grego is a professional dancer. I used to be many years ago, not anymore, but for me, it’s always been my passion. And you also have your separate lives. That’s another thing I noticed, right. I know that you give one another state. Yes. Pierre is in a very social job.
Participant #1:
Yes. Pierre runs the Spoke Club in Toronto, which is a private members club with people in media, entertainment, on the arts. Correct. And so he knows everybody. And Toronto is four or 5 million people, and we all know each other. They call it the biggest small town. So I’m sure you go out for dinner and Pierce running into people that he knows. He also owns nightclubs in Toronto, which is how I knew him. I worked for him as well. And I just know that you were together when my husband and I got together, and we learned from you. I remember you saying to me, it’s funny how you remember things from so long ago. You said, I never worry about Pierre. I know that you’ve had fun before he was with me, but he’s just with me now. So how did you develop and cultivate that trust? Well, we met in this environment, so that’s why both of us are actually very social. I’m very social. And we met in that environment. So I know how the business works, too. But I just knew that when we decided to be coupled, that he would never cross the line. Working in clubs, working with people every day. It’s part of your work to be social and even flirtation. Yeah. I mean, they’re French people.
Participant #1:
Yeah. That makes sense.
Participant #1:
I was never worried, and I think he feels the same about me. We just know you’re committed to each other. Yes. Even when you’re angry at each other, even when you walk out. And if you listen to older people much older than us, they’ll say, like the key to staying together is to decide to stay together, even when you have weeks or months, even longer, where you’re a little bit unhappy with one another when you’re frustrated with one another, when issues seem insurmountable, especially when you have young children, those are the hardest years of your life. They’re the most unhappy. I mean, just statistically speaking, we see that marital satisfaction plummets after you have kids, and if you stick it out, it can go back up. But if you give up. And I’m not saying that people should never divorce, people should certainly divorce in some cases. But you just have this. It seems you have a commitment to one another and that’s it what you think that if you decide to stay together, it’s like a commitment. Okay, I will make this happen. I’m going to make it. And whatever it takes within reason, we’ll make it. And we’re a team like Karen and I were a team. Now we have a project that we’re working together. We’re creating together. So can you share? Well, not yet. Okay, but I’ll come back on the show. No problem. And I’ll share it’s a project that we’re very passionate about it. We’re working together on this project. We’re a team and everything we do. But as two also different people. Sierra, I’m Grego. You’re a very different person out there. Yes, I think with Kierana, we never forgot who we were in that relationship. I should have had Pierre come in. You should. Pierre is a very articulate eloquent. As I said, well, you know what, Pierre? I can ask him to come. Yeah, he’s here. Okay, guys, hold on for 1 second. We’re going to grab Pierre.
