October 23, 2012
Once A Cheater Always a Cheater? How To Know If They’ll Reoffend
An excerpt from iVillage Canada:
Being in love can be simultaneously exhilarating, addictive and terrifying. This is because love exposes our most intense passion as well as our most intimate vulnerabilities. The fear of being betrayed, hurt or abandoned is a universal experience and most of us will encounter the impacts of infidelity at some point in our lives directly or indirectly. It follows that trust in intimate relationships is both essential and challenging, as we see the fallout of cheating all around us in the lives of far-off celebrities to our closest friends and family members alike.
But if someone cheats once, are they sure to cheat again? The answer may depend on why they cheated, how they dealt with it, happiness and communication within the relationship and their attachment styles.
People cheat for lots of different reasons ranging from boredom and insecurity to lack of intimacy and narcissism. As a partner in a relationship, you can build a healthy bond, foster open communication, offer the best of yourself and respond to your partner’s needs. You cannot, however, affair-proof a relationship.
While the excuses for cheating won’t help mend a broken heart, you need to understand why they chose to before you can know whether they are likely to do so again.
For instance, if your lover chose to cheat because their sexual needs were not being met at home due to a lack of communication or intimacy, they can also choose to work on those issues and avoid cheating in the future. Similarly, if your lover cheated because they confused lust with love, neglected to set appropriate boundaries or were struggling with commitment issues which they have now resolved with professional support, recovery is possible. We are defined by the sum of our actions, not by a brief snapshot of them. We all make mistakes and evolve and cheating represents only one component of our rich personal history.
However, some people who cheat have little desire to change. Some actually get into relationships with the intention of cheating…
Read the rest of this article here!