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Sex with Dr. Jess


September 12, 2012

How To Reignite The Sexual Spark: Part III

Reignite the sexual spark part 3

Change the Way You Look!

If you tuned into parts I and II of this special series, you’ve likely already taken the opportunity to secretly schedule sex as well as take a trip down memory lane. Hopefully the flames of sexual passion are burning a bit brighter and you’ve been able to connect with your lover in new and exciting ways.

This week’s challenge to reignite the sexual spark involves changing the way you look. But this isn’t about your hair, wardrobe or grooming habits. I’m suggesting that you change the way you look…at your partner.

In the early stages of a relationship, limerence takes over as our infatuation is fueled by curiosity, anxiety and the desire to uncover the unknown. You lust after your new love interest as you fill in the gaps to idealize your potential mate. But with time, this limerence stage evolves and our lives take over. We stop looking at our partners as lovers and begin to regard them more as people. And though it is absolutely desirable to see your lover as a complete person and not just a sex object, you still need to file away a little piece of animalistic admiration for their sexual self.

So the next time your partner walks through the door, don’t ask about their day or talk about your upcoming plans. Instead, just soak in all the good, juicy, sex appeal that first attracted you to them. Really stop and look at your lover. Pick a body part you love and focus on it like a piece of meat. Leer a little!

Forget about all of their annoying habits (as if hanging up their towel is really that hard!) and objectify them. Offer compliments and be flirtatious. Make it a habit to let go of all of your conflict, tension, anger and stress for at least a few minutes each and every day and just admire your lover — it doesn’t need to lead to sex, but it will help to reframe how you see your partner as a man or a woman.

Let me know how it goes!