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Sex with Dr. Jess


February 1, 2011

K is for The Kangaroo Sex Position, Karezza and Kink


The Kangaroo Sex Position involves one partner crouching on all fours with the knees bent while the insertive partner crouches and penetrates from behind. They can thrust and hop around like kangaroos. Good on ya, mate!

Karezza involves prolonged, intimate sexual intercourse without the goal of ejaculation or orgasm. It often refers to penetrative sex involving deep affection, devoted touch, spiritual connection, little movement and partner bonding. Though some people may scoff at sex without the goal of orgasm, practitioners describe it as a love meditation that deepens relationships, embraces the sacred elements of sex and induces states of sexual ecstasy. Though the practice of karezza takes time, commitment and patience to embrace, we can all extract elements from its philosophy without sacrificing pleasure. For example, the next time you’re having penetrative sex of any kind, try lying completely still for a minute or two and breathing in unison with your partner.  After a few minutes of focusing on the sensation of breath and touch, the insertive partner can pull out and re-insert ever so slowly (try taking 30-40 seconds to do so). Experience the building of tension, the new sensations and the burning desire for more, more more! See if you can maintain the VERY s-l-o-w pace for a while and resist the urge to let yourself go over the edge. You may surprised how delaying orgasm or building toward orgasm through slow, gentle movements (as opposed to hard, fast thrusts) changes your perception of sexual pleasure.

Kink refers to all sexual practices that fall outside of cultural “norms”. Though many people assume that kink involves whips, chains and torture chambers, kinky sex can be as playful as tying a partner up with silk scarves. In some circles, sex with the lights on might be considered kinky while others might consider group sex blasé vanilla (the opposite of kinky). One person’s kink is another’s Thursday night ritual (hooray for Thursdays!) and I once heard a lecture in which kink was defined as “anything that you haven’t done (yet)”. So, what’s left on your list?