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Sex with Dr. Jess


December 15, 2009

How to Touch a Woman: Part III

How to touch a woman part 3

Sex means different things to different people and great sex often involves a range of activities and a good deal of experimentation. However, many people view penetration as “real” sex and other forms as inferior substitutes. For this reason, we often rush into penetrative activities and skip over all the fun, sensual and intimate exploration that can involve other body parts and produce orgasmic sensations throughout the entire body. Not only do we deny ourselves pleasure in doing so, but focusing solely on penis-in-the-vagina sex can result in challenges with sexual functioning, response and pleasure.

In parts I and II of this series, we explored ways to touch and pleasure a woman without penetration. We will now explore some possibilities for manual sex that involve entering the vagina. As each woman is unique, you should talk to your partner about her comfort level before experimenting with new techniques. As always use lots of lube, enjoy and explore the entire body (not just the genitals) and practice safer sex using condoms and gloves as barriers.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

Circle of Love: Start slowly by circling the entrance of her vagina with one well lubricated finger. Gently insert it into her vagina bearing in mind that deep penetration is not necessary, as the entrance to the vagina is most rich in nerve endings. Try moving your inserted finger in small, gentle circular motions to see how she responds.

Come Hither: With your palm facing upwards (toward her abdomen), insert your index finger into the vagina and motion up and back toward yourself in a “come hither” fashion. You should feel her G-spot — a ridge-like area on the upper vaginal wall. Some women enjoy direct G-spot stimulation, while others do not. The only way to know is to ask. She may experience a bearing down sensation, as though she has to pee. This is normal and healthy and she can allow herself to bear down if she is comfortable with doing so. If she does expel fluid from G-spot stimulation, rest assured that this is normal and healthy. Female ejaculate fluid is expelled through the urethra and is similar in content to male prostatic fluid.

Line Dance: Insert one or two fingers into the vagina and press upward on the G-spot. Trace a line from the G-Spot out toward the vaginal opening and then up toward the clitoral hood and glans. Gently circle the clitoral glans and then trace a line back down into the vagina and up toward the G-Spot.

Twister: Cross you middle and index fingers and insert them into her vagina with your palm facing up toward her abdomen. Rotate 180 degrees as you pull your fingers out and continue in one fluid motion. Repeat and alternate between starting with your palm facing down toward her back.

Come together: Place your index finger against the clitoral hood and glans and insert your thumb into her vagina. Gently bring your thumb and index finger together so that your thumb rubs against her upper vaginal wall and your index finger strokes down over the clitoral shaft and the top of her labia. They should they meet at the vaginal entrance. Release and open them back up adding lube as necessary.

Have fun out there and always practice safer sex!