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Sex with Dr. Jess


May 1, 2009

Couple’s Workshop #4: Fun With Fellatio

Couples Workshop #4: Fun With Fellatio

This post is intended for those over the age of 18. If you are not yet 18 years of age, please visit

After several days of celebrating, touring and pleasuring the female form, a few men expressed concerns that my work was biased toward female pleasure. No way! But by the end of the Blow Job Workshop, they were singing a very different tune; they retracted their concerns of female-bias and couples left equipped with a wide range of fun sexual techniques to practice, modify and build upon. I share just a few from the Fun With Fellatio session below…

General Tips:

  1. Change positions often to avoid cramping, vary your angle of contact and alter sensations.
  2. Alternate between your hands, lips, tongue, nose, chin, chest and anything else you can think of to avoid tiring and jaw aches.
  3. Use lots of lube. Saliva is great, but a water-based lube can be tasty, long lasting and provide a more slippery, fun surface.
  4. Pay attention to the scrotum (the sac containing the testicles), perineum, thighs and anus if your partner enjoys this type of stimulation.
  5. Partners: offer constructive feedback and lots of appreciation to let them know that you love it; if you’re uncomfortable expressing how you feel with words, consider facial expressions, gestures and sounds of pleasure.
  6. Safer oral sex includes the use of condoms. Practice putting it on with your lips and tongue!

The Tease:

  1. Use your lubricated hands, moist lips, wet tongue and/or lubricated chest to softly caress his entire body, avoiding his penis and scrotum.
  2. Spend extra time around his inner thighs and lower abdomen and very subtly brush up against his genitals with your face, hands and chest without making any significant direct contact.
  3. As you moisten his thighs with lube or saliva, blow on the moistened skin to tickle, warm and stimulate the nerve endings in the genital region.

Tit for Tat (This one is for women, but men could get equally creative.)

  1. Apply lots of lube to your breasts.
  2. Rub them all over his body and up and down the shaft of his penis.
  3. When your breasts reach the base of his penis, your mouth should be close enough to blow on, lick or suck the glans/head.

The Harmonica:

  1. Press his penis against his abdomen so that it is pointing toward his face.
  2. Use your lips, tongue and breath to play with his penis like a harmonica; run your lips and tongue in both directions on all sides. Pay attention to the ridge and frenulum.
  3. Create a vibrating sensation by buzzing or humming as you slide your lips along the shaft.
  4. While playing the harmonica, use your well-lubricated fingers to draw figure-eights on his scrotum.


  1. Form an okay sign with your index finger and thumb.
  2. Tightly seal the okay sign around the base of his penis before sucking, blowing, licking and stroking.
  3. You can use the well-lubricated okay sign against your lips as an extension of your mouth.

Better Than Okay:

  1. Use two hands to make a circle with your two index fingers and thumbs; your index fingers should connect at the top of the circle, while your thumbs connect at the bottom.
  2. Wrap this tight seal around the base of the penis and scrotum like a cock ring; the thumbs should connect beneath the scrotum, while the index fingers meet at the penis base on the upper side. Tighten this ring to create a firm seal.
  3. This technique traps blood in the penis to create a harder erection and may increase pleasurable sensations.
  4. Use your other fingers to stroke the skin around the genital area.
  5. Do not maintain this seal for longer than 20 minutes; by this time, you’re hands should need a break anyway.

The Quarter Turn:

  1. Begin at his side so that you are facing the side of his penis.
  2. Wrap your lips around his penis so that your top and bottom lips contact the sides of his penis; if he looks down at you, he should see your facial profile.
  3. Lower your tightened lips down the shaft of his penis.
  4. When you reach the base, suck upwards toward the head and keep your tongue moving against his shaft.
  5. Before your reach the ridge of the penis, make a quarter turn so that you now face his abdomen and can look him in the eye; maintain the suction during this fluid twisting movement.
  6. As you make the quarter-turn, use your tongue to stimulate the frenulum – the skin that connects the head to the foreskin and contains a great number of nerve endings.
  7. You may want to practice this one on a cucumber or dildo first.

Have fun, keep experimenting and practice safer sex!