Men & Sex Toys
Walk into any typical sex shop and you’ll fnd more toys for women than you cancount. With endless colours, shapes and functions, females aren’t suffering from alack of options. The independent woman usually isn’t without a vibrator hidden in her bedroom.
Dildos, vibrators and anal beads are justa few of the sex toys advertised for females that dominate the market and the media.
On the flipside, it’s hard to imagine anyman bragging about a new sex toy he just experimented with to his friends in the way he would after picking up a girl.
After countless years of living in the shad-ow of the female toy industry, the marketfor male sex toys may nally be catching upto its female counterpart in the $15 billionindustry.
“The market in terms of male toys is almost getting equal to girls in buying vibrators,” said Marie Leeunz, manager of the Stag Shop on Yonge Street. On some months, the store sells out of its popular male toys in two weeks, on average their stock ranges from a dozen to four dozen a month. The mere thought of using a sex toy for masturbation is embarrassing for many men.
“This may be related to gendered notions of sexual functioning. Male sexual functioning is expected to arise naturally,” said Jessica O’Reilly, a Toronto sexologist. “While women are expected to require more work.
”According to Leeunz, the FleshLight is the most common toy amongst men. But why don’t more men try rubbing one out with this toy in lieu of using their hands?
“In general a guy is soft if he can’t get it in,” said Moathe El-Rabbany, a second-year engineering student.
“By buying a sex toy it means he can’t get a girl.
”Thank society for creating a double standard surrounding masturbation. Playing with yourself can be a substitute for sex but if you do it too often and require the assistance of toys it’s frowned upon.
“We can begin by destigmatizing masturbation and stop characterizing it as a last resort. People masturbate because it feels good, not because they can’t get a partner,” said O’Reilly. “Everyone is entitled to an orgasm, it’s a choice and a very common oneat that. The same is true of sex toys.
”Aaron Meletia, a first year journalism student admits he may buy a sex toy, but only under circumstance warranted it.
“If I felt I wasn’t being satisfied I would go with a sex toy but then if I was dissatisfied every time, maybe it’s me or I needsomething more,” he said. “But as men, we are bottle rockets. One-two-go, we’re quick to cum.
”Some women share the same feelings about men using sex toys, believing it’s an insult to them if their partner resorts to something like a Fleshlight.
“If he has to use a sex toy, I see it as not being good enough,” said Dominque Bennet, a third-year radio and television artsstudent.
While the stigma surrounding men andsex toys is gradually becoming less of a talking point, there’s still a fair ways to go before the FleshLight reaches the same level of social acceptability as the dildo.
“As we work to promote more sex-positive values, sex toys may become more popular. I’m an advocate of options,” O’Reilly believes. “You don’t need to use toys. If you like them, use them. Just don’t force your preferences and values onto others by reinforcing stigma.”